Ah, Hollywood. My favorite hideous bitch goddess. There are few institutions I love and hate with equal fervor as do with the Dream Factory. And Oscar night let's both sides shine.
I can't really comment on what films are deserving of a nomination this year as I only saw a handful of '10 movies, with Toy Story 3 being the only Oscar contender among them. So I'll leave the speculating to the experts.
Last year's pairing of Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin as tandem hosts was great. Anne Hathaway and James Franco have some mighty big shoes to fill. But even if they aren't as funny, well, I can always gaze upon Hathaway's big, beautiful eyes. That's good enough for me.
So join me in the comments section here and we can rag on the self-important speeches, the back-patting, and the opulence. Share your thoughts on the big winners and even bigger losers. Revel in the nipple slips and the people being cut off by the band. In other words, let's knock them down a peg!
(I'm also going to be following along with Doug Benson's live tweeting and the goings-on at the A.V. Club.)
First Post! I rock. Despite his mocking of the pageantry, Phil is flipping between the two red carpet shows. He is also making catty comments about the womens' fashion. Can anyone say DL?
ReplyDeleteKPMD! Well, Phil does swish when he walks.
ReplyDeleteWho are you wearing?
From Doug Benson's Twitter: Anne Hathaway is not only the youngest host of the Academy Awards, she's also the shit-hottest. #Oscars #PreShow #Trivia
ReplyDeleteI agree.
I've really upgraded since past years. I'm co-designed by Ann Taylor and Seven for all Mankind. Sweatsocks by Performance. It's quite a fetching look. Tim Gunn said I look fabulous but understated. Jackson said, "Mommy not stinky!"
ReplyDeleteMommy not stinky, indeed. Until recently, I was watching YouTube superhero videos with Owen. I asked him who his favorite was. His answer: "All of them, but not the bad ones. They're weirdos."
ReplyDeleteI am wearing a stunning ensemble: pants by Phillipe Adidas, shirt by Stella Marvel-Comics, and socks by the House of Starter.
Why does Nicole Kidman look angry?
ReplyDeleteShe always looks angry. It's either a bad facelift or too-tight hair...or both. I don't know if this is still a faux pas, but Monty is clad in head to toe fur.
ReplyDeleteIf I had some red paint...
ReplyDeleteYeah, she looks very Joker-esque. And Christian Bale is the wolfman.
Matt Damon is...The Hat!
ReplyDeleteJust start the damn show already.
ReplyDeleteRoberto Benigi? Can't they just let us forget that moment?
ReplyDeleteNo doubt. Although I question the wisdom of the Franco/Hathaway hosting. I must say that Hathaway is the new "Celebrity I most resemble". Even the president of my hospital said so. So it must be true.
ReplyDeleteYou'll always be That Greek Actress Whose Name Escapes Me But Even If It Didn't I Know I Couldn't Spell It Correctly.
ReplyDeleteYeah, we'll see how they do. Expectations are lowered.
We're having a thunderstorm and the cable just went out! Oh - now it's back on. This could be trouble! Now it's off again...
ReplyDeleteAw, man. Sorry about that, Aunt Donna.
ReplyDeleteOwen's watching the show with me. He only pays attention when a Toy Story 3 clip appears.
On now. We'll see.
ReplyDeleteYeah, he looks silly, but I'll let Morgan Freeman have an earring. He's freakin' Morgan Freeman.
ReplyDeleteAlec Baldwin is friggin' hilarious.
ReplyDeleteI wish he was hosting again.
ReplyDeleteAnne Hathaway can get it.
ReplyDeleteA tweet from the Onion: Where's Billy Crystal? Why isn't he on stage? Oh my god, is he alright? #oscars
ReplyDeleteHa.
1 for 1 in the pool!
ReplyDeleteI like Tom Hanks in those hipster frames.
1 for 2 now. I think I chose "True Grit" for cinematography.
ReplyDeleteI'm having technical difficulties. Can't check my picks! I have no idea who I picked for these "small awards".
ReplyDeleteAnd those aren't ironic glasses on Hanks, they're old man reading glasses.
The site must be getting hammered. It's slowly updating for me.
ReplyDeleteHanks looks just like Buddy Holly. Oooh ooh.
Owen just said that Kirk Douglas is "a weirdo".
Amy Adams can get it.
ReplyDeleteThere are few things that make me happier than a good Kirk Douglas impression: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHplngiagqo
ReplyDeleteOwen: "Is it over? Can you turn on kid shows?"
Watching the Oscars with a 4 year old is fun. He thinks Justin Timberlake is Justin Beiber.
ReplyDeleteOwen should like this part...I know he's got a thing for Timberlake.
ReplyDeleteMan, I'm stinking this up this year. I guess that's what happens when you haven't stepped foot in a movie theater since July 2009.
ReplyDeleteFinally the Pixar folks get an award. It's about time.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'm sucking, too. Only two correct picks so far. I'll see more movies this year, but mostly of the comic book and summer popcorn varieties (not that they are mutually exclusive). It won't help me come Oscar time.
Owen: "Is it over now?"
Another signs of my pathetic-ness. I'm falling asleep. I'm signing off, I have to get up at 5am and cure cancer. If I win, I would like to thank the f)(*&ing Academy, but most certainly not Phil. KPMD out.
ReplyDeleteHave a good one. Save a life for me tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteWhy are there a couple of waiters presenting this award?
ReplyDeleteHe is NOT Roland.
ReplyDeleteI'll trust your assessment.
ReplyDeleteI'm really going to have to check out "The King's Speech" sometime.
And now Anne Hathaway looks like a waitress.
ReplyDeleteDanish Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman can get it.
ReplyDeleteWhose funeral is Christian Bale going to after the show?
ReplyDeleteIt sounded like he couldn't remember his wife's name.
ReplyDeleteHe was probably thinking of that lighting guy. "Who's laughing now, bitch?"
ReplyDeleteAhhhh! The Joker!
ReplyDeleteTrent Reznor, you're my boy, dawg! My 15 year old self would've never imagined he'd get an Oscar.
ReplyDeleteScarJo can get it.
ReplyDeleteI hear Marissa Tomei has a thing for funny, short, quirky, bald guys.
ReplyDeleteDoug Benson tweet: Do I sense an INCEPTION/KING'S SPEECH/THE FIGHTER/SOCIAL NETWORK sweep? #YesIDo #Oscars
ReplyDeleteCan I just say I hate, hate, hate, Randy Newman. Always have. Always will. Hack.
ReplyDeleteBut you love L.A., right?
ReplyDeleteOh, and Coleman, who are you wearing?
ReplyDeleteFlashback: Amy Adams can get it.
ReplyDeleteI am wearing my usual loungewear...a mesh tank top and terrycloth boyshorts.
ReplyDeleteThat's also your clubwear!
ReplyDeleteThe older Academy members were probably saying "what the hell?" during that autotune montage.
Uma...Oprah.
ReplyDeleteOprah...Uma.
I miss Letterman as host. :(
ReplyDeleteLove Hathaway and Franco's cool, but good Oscar hosts they are not.
You look mahvelous!
ReplyDeleteI'm really glad that Robert Downey Jr. had a career renaissance.
ReplyDeleteOh Gweneth. How painful.
ReplyDeleteGwyneth as a country singer...yeah, I don't see it.
ReplyDeleteLeft foot, right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot...
ReplyDeleteI'm glad non one's applauding during the Celeb Death Popularity Contest. That always seemed kind of crass and disrespectful to the lesser known people.
ReplyDeleteHalle Berry can get it.
ReplyDeleteHow refreshing - no clapping during the memorial.
ReplyDeleteYep. That's definitely a change for the better. And I'm glad they ditched the "here are five people saluting the five nominees" presentation. That was a total time suck.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, Aunt Donna, who are you wearing?
Hillary Swank cannot get it.
ReplyDeleteDidn't Hilliary Swank win for "The Next Karate Kid"?
ReplyDeleteYou're thinking of Will Smith's kid.
ReplyDeleteI am wearing Deenie, Harry & Lucky - my cats are draped all over me.
ReplyDeleteIt cun mke its verry had to typ!
ReplyDeleteHa ha. And Kevin's right: Benning is Spider-man.
ReplyDeleteQuote from the A.V. Club's live blog: I quote our own Scott Tobias. Did even anyone who liked The King's Speech think, "Man, Tom Hooper directed the shit out of that?"
Abide.
ReplyDeleteHe said "hole". Heh heh.
ReplyDelete"Blue Valentine" looks so romantic!
ReplyDeleteGeez, Natalie Portman got fat. She can still get it, though.
ReplyDeleteThe "Thor" trailers and posters are no doubt now being hastily edited to list "Academy Award winner Natalie Portman".
ReplyDeleteThat Hugh Grant is all right.
ReplyDeleteFun fact from Mental Floss: The Oscar Jimmy Stewart won for The Philadelphia Story was kept in the window at his dad's hardware store in Indiana, PA.
ReplyDeleteBully for you, "King's Speech". I want to see ya.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to bed.