Sunday, February 22, 2015

"And the Oscar goes to... Nicolas Cage's hairpiece!"

Ah, Oscar night. The glitz! The glamour! The sitting around in elastic-waist pants and typing out snarky commentary in real time! Yes, this is our time to shine, ladies and germs.

Though I'll no doubt be thinking to myself mid-ceremony "I delayed watching The Walking Dead for *this*?" I look forward all year to tonight. It's weird because I couldn't give a flying fig for any other awards show and going in I usually on have seen a paltry number of the nominees. (Well, I do see the films in the technical categories, since those are typically big, dumb, and loud.) This year is no exception. So who will take home the statue? The true-ish story of the military's most deadly gunman (Boyhood), the tale of a tough but inspiring drumming instructor (Birdman: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire), a brutal examination of America's racist past (The Theory of Everything)? The one about the guy in a wheelchair (Selma)? A write-in for the criminally overlooked LEGO Movie?

The only Best Picture nominee that I've seen is The Grand Budapest Hotel, which I greatly enjoyed. Wes Anderson is back, baby! (I was lukewarm on Moonrise Kingdom.) What other movies did I see and love this year? I'm glad you asked. Get thee to a Redbox and snag They Came Together, Guardians of the Galaxy, Captain America: The Winter Solder, The LEGO Movie. X-Men: Days of Future Past.

Back to Oscar night... oh, the fashion! I don't care! But I know that the press needs to churn out content and the public craves something to lap up, so I'll clue you into who I'm wearing tonight: shorts by House of Adidas, t-shirt by Georgio de la Sports Backers, hoodie by United Colors of Fruit of the Loom, and socks by Pierre Starter. Swanky!

Per usual, I'll be live blogging the ceremony here in the comments section. I invite you to join in the snarkfest and comment along. Feel free to talk smack about what films and actors you hate, who you love, what a disaster the telecast is, who you are wearing, your prognostications, the most glaring snubs, etc. If I come across an exceptionally funny tweet I'll post it.

Give us a night to remember, phoney Hollywood One Percenters! Make it well worth me putting my binge watching of Bosch on hold. (That show is my current jam, BTW.)

UPDATE (03.02.15): A hearty congratulations goes out to KPMD for winning this year's Oscar pool. Her impressive run - including starting out with an 11-0 streak - put us all to shame.
The award ceremony was held while she was in town yesterday, at D-Hall. Because of her Guatemalan-ness - her natural heat - she won a copy of The Birdcage. Thanks to everyone who played and came here to lay down some snark. You guys make it fun.