Tuesday, October 14, 2008

My lunch date with Sarah Palin

About a week ago I got a highly personal e-mail from Gov. Sarah Palin, asking whether or not I'd like to get together with her. My immediate reaction: hells yeah! I have been crushing on her for weeks. Why not take a half day at work and meet the very foxy Vice Presidential candidate for a lunch date?

So we made plans to meet at the Arthur Ashe Center. Then a few days later, she changed her mind and said that she'd rather have the date at the Richmond International Raceway. She said something about liking the size of that venue better. It's not the most romantic place in the world, the menu's not very deep, and the place certainly isn't conducive to conversation. But whatever. It was her call.

Well, yesterday was the big day. I finally met her in person after exchanging e-mails for weeks. *swoon*

To my surprise, she arranged to have Hank Williams, Jr. serenade us. Wow! Okay, so while that was indeed a treat, the National Anthem and "Family Tradition" don't really get me "in the mood," if you catch my drift. At least put on some Barry White or Dido or something. But at least it wasn't Toby Keith. Man, do I hate Power Country.

So, while I noshed on a pulled pork sandwich, we started talking. Or rather, she started talking, as I couldn't get a word in edgewise. She kept talking and talking, mostly about how awesome her old man is, lower taxes, Wall Street, polls, war, yada yada. I just smiled and nodded, as I am what's called a "good listener" and "sensitive to a woman's needs." Honestly, though, I was completely transfixed on her beautiful, brown eyes. She could've been talking about nationalizing health care and abridging my 2nd Amendment rights and I would've went along with it.

Before I knew it, the lunch date was over. Sarah had work to do back at the office and was going to be very busy in the foreseeable future. She did leave open the possibility of getting together again, maybe in January. I'm psyched!

Now, the media would have you believe that I was only one out of about 20,000 or so people there and that it wasn't actually lunch date, but in fact a "rally," but that's just crazy talk. Sarah and I shared a moment. The media's just jealous and delusional, like any ex-boyfriend would be.

(No, this shirt isn't for me, though I would look dead sexy in it. It's for my sister who, for the first time ever, is very excited about a political candidate. Take that, Democratic dominance of identity politics!)


Dave Bessom said...

Dude, great write-up! Hilarious! Now I understand why you got that Nobel Prize nomination (in both Literature AND Mathematics!)

spydrz said...

You "yada-yada'd" over the best part.

Micah said...

dave - Thanks, dude. Next year I'm going for the trifecta. Lit/Math/Peace in '09!

spydrz - No, I mentioned the pulled pork sandwich.

jasdye said...

i don't know, man. it's hard to fight against the media - you might end up eating (or tripping over) your words, you know?

or was this video photoshopped?

Micah said...

Nope, he sang that. Personally, I would've rather had Ted Nugent there, singing "Wang Dang Sweet Poontang," but that's just me.

(And I did hear them play VH's "Right Now" after the rally.)

Most of the media is in the left's pocket anyway, so why not bring that up to energize the base? It's not like they all of the sudden said, "The McCain/Palin camp doesn't like us. Let's now push for Obama!"