Merry Christmas!

"I hope everybody likes my gifts, I must say. Although I doubt some will score as well as I had hoped because not everybody likes acrylic."

Fun fact: For my last year of trick or treating I dressed up as Ed Grimley.

Song to close out the weekend: "(Let's Have a) Patrick Swayze Christmas" by Joel and the Bots

As a tribute to one of the victims of Celebrageddon 2009, here is Joel, Crow, and Tom Servo from the great "Mystery Science Theater 3000" singing the Road House-inspired "(Let's Have a) Patrick Swayze Christmas".

Wanna make this the Swayziest Christmas of them all? Grab my '09 Christmas mix - featuring this beloved carol - here.

You're next, Stevie Nicks.

You're all on notice.

A round of links for my friends

Some interesting articles that I've read over the past week:

• Sometimes those fake Onion op-eds are too crushingly real


• A trip down junk food memory lane


• That's gotta hurt: competitive eating injuries


• 10 years later, Moby breaks down Play


• The Fourth of July is a fraud!


• This piece about Golden Books really takes me back. The exhibit's coming to the Children's Museum of Richmond...in 2011. The Saggy Baggy Elephant FTW!


• Thomas Jefferson: Founding Father, patriot, music lover


• I'm with Radley Balko on this one: if you're taking money from The Man, you aren't punk
.

• "But I didn't order a pizza": who writes porn screenplays?

I have found internet nirvana.

Explosions and boobs (keep on refreshing). That's pretty much why the internet was invented, isn't it?

Note: It's safe for work, unless your workplace frowns upon pictures of stuff getting blowed up and disembodied clothed breasts on par with anything out of the Sears catalog. And if they do, I feel sorry for you.

Hey, I actually like that Sixpence None the Richer song!

Inspiration has been lacking here since vacation, but I need to post something this week. How about "Shittiest Mixtape Boombox Blast" - a classic funny video by Aziz Ansari, lately of the promising "Parks and Recreation" (and the hilarious sketch comedy show "Human Giant")?

The poetry of Tony, Junior, Paulie, and the rest of the gang

the sopranos, uncensored. from victor solomon on Vimeo.

This guy made a compilation of every single swear word used during the entire run of "The Sopranos." It's surreal. After a while it becomes downright hypnotic.

Needless to say, this video is not safe for work.

If stimulus persists for longer than 4 hours, consult your physician

I feel bad for Jewish, Muslim, and other pork-averse Americans, as we're all about to be force fed a heaping helping of it. Sorry, future-grandkids!

These guys make the 1985 Chicago Bears look like the Wu-Tang Clan

Niles Leonard drops science. Jesse Franklin is a supa MC. Cecil Boseman gives you a nickel bag of funk. Ronnie Ashland busts mad rhymes. But it's Charlie Carson that truly rocks the bells.

Ain't no half-steppin' with these guys because they're just here to win the Super Broker Shuffle!

Credit due: wh1skeylover for bringing this to my attention. It's been floating around for a while, but I couldn't think of anything else to post today.

I think Stephen Colbert did this bit eight years too early

And don't blame me for today's coronation. I voted to re-elect President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho. I mean, c'mon: he's also a porn superstar and five-time Ultimate Smackdown wrestling champion.

But I don't hate the new guy. I wish him well, but I'm skeptical.

"The beard stays. You go."

Well, it's time to put an end to Beard Week. What better way than with one of my favorite Kids in the Hall sketches?

This video raises more questions than it answers

What are they saying? Who is the guy dancing like Joe Cocker on crystal meth? Why is he only allowed to rise from the floor during the choruses? What kind of instrument is that other dude playing? Where can I get one of those sports coats? And that guy with the pane of glass...WHY?!

I'm so confused.

Credit due: wh1skeylover. Thanks for providing an opportunity for me to stare into the abyss.

Song to get you through the weekend: "Halloween" by Stephen Lynch

Because Halloween's not over until the stores run out of heavily-discounted candy.

Happy Halloween!

In The Know: Has Halloween Become Overcommercialized?

"You know, last Halloween I asked my nephew, 'Do you know why you wear a costume?' And he said, 'To have fun and get candy.' He didn't even know that it was to protect his virgin spirit from the wretched dead that roam the Earth one night a year to steal souls." Ha ha!

This probably one of the funniest videos that the Onion's ever put out.

Because I have to post something...

"Things are going to be dangerously crunchy out there."

Extreme Weather Alert: Meteorologists Predict Intensely Brisk Autumn

Once again, the Onion is on point with its skewering of the media. Too bad they didn't put this out in time for Autumn Week here, but it's still definitely worth posting.

Song to get you through the weekend: "Mixer at Delta Chi" by Stephen Lynch

School's in, so I figured that this is the perfect song for you college kids. Plus, I aspire to be one of those professors one day.

This starts what I hope to be a series of autumn-related posts this coming up week. Whether or not I actually follow through with it, we'll see.

Good Gaia, hippies make me laugh.

Another way to spend my summer!

I just remembered that a few months ago I downloaded all of the shorts that comedy supergroup (to me, at least) Stella made. The above one, sort of a music video for Chicago's "Saturday in the Park," cracks me up. Because star wipes and a random dude dancing in just cuffs and tighty-whities are HILARIOUS.

For the longest time, whenever I heard "Saturday in the Park", I would think of Seurat's A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte. No more. Now I will forever associate this video with the song.

Now I know what to say the next time I get mugged. And am Asian.

This confirms my belief that the Japanese are a weird and delightful people.

And that one mugger is wearing the least effective mask ever.

EDIT: Okay, I found the video elsewhere and I embedded it.