And don't blame me for today's coronation. I voted to re-elect President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho. I mean, c'mon: he's also a porn superstar and five-time Ultimate Smackdown wrestling champion.
But I don't hate the new guy. I wish him well, but I'm skeptical.
As a more serious voter than Micah, I voted for Magnum PI. A lot of people say, "Jeremy, I guess you mean you voted for Tom Selleck." And I say, "No, I voted for Magnum PI. It's about time Hawaii...and mustaches...were represented in the White House."
You may think I threw my vote away by voting for Pres. Camacho, but he was the only candidate to have a three point plan to fix everything ("Number 1: We've got this guy Not Sure. Number 2: He's got a higher IQ than ANY MAN ALIVE. and Number 3: He's going to fix EVERYTHING.").
I'd like to see Pres. Magnum (or VP Higgins, for that matter) come up with solutions like that.
President Camacho will no doubt do a good job. However, Mr. Magnum has a history of resolving every problem he faces in 53 minutes, often taking two or three commercial breaks during his escapades.
Then I wish President Magnum well.
I forgot to mention that President Magnum comes with his own theme song.
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