Friday, December 17, 2004

A Christmas poem by Kathy Griffin

Although I used to find her extremely annoying, I'm really starting to dig Kathy Griffin. It's probably because of my fascination with pop culture. I just like the way she rips on celebrities. Her Bravo comedy special, which contained nothing but her trashing the Hollywood not-so-elite, was hilarious. In the spirit of the season, here's the Christmas poem that she said on Comedy Central the other night:

Twas the night before Christmas in Vegas, no qualms
Paris Hilton was banging some guy at the Palms
Then Courtney Love flew in her private chartered sleigh
A landing so perfect, her arm tracks led the way
There’s Anna Nicole - in great shape, she’s hikin’ in
With bottles of Trim Spa and buckets of vicodin
Is that the Sum 41 guy with Avril Lavigne?
No way - she’s the hardest core hardcore punk rocker I’ve ever seen
I went to a strip club after a couple of beers
I saw a pretty pole dancer - hey, it’s Britney Spears
With cut off daisy dukes, hair blonde as honey
Why is she stripping for dollars? Her husband Kevin took all her money
Now Lindsay, now Misha, Nicole Richie take care
Someone’s hurling into the toilet; it’s Tara Reid - hold her hair
I know she hates Lohan, but Lindsay here’s some drama
Hilary Duff is in the corner blowing Wilmer Valderrama
Who’s that up in the Ghost Bar, wide-eyed and out too late
Asking if her ass looks fat? It’s Ashley with Mary-Kate
So “It” girls of Hollywood, don’t go too far
Because what happens in Vegas stays in the Star

9 comments:

spydrz said...

As much as I can't stand the woman, that is an awesome post.

Micah said...

Yeah, I was gonna post it over at Spydrzweb, but the language is a bit saucy. Heck - it's Friday night. I might just do it.

spydrz said...

Post away. We're just a little against cussing there. Don't want to lose our sponsors.

Anonymous said...

If her forte is trashing the Hollywood not-so-elite...why is she not mentioned?

Micah said...

In interviews (and I think her stand-up routine, also) she openly admits that she's a "D-list" celebrity.

Kate The Great said...

Wow. She really is a trip. Oh how I cannot wait to get back to Strip... er, I mean The Strip. Went in September for the first time and I am already plotting where I want to go next! I hear Ghost Bar is hip...

Micah said...

I'm living proof that anyone can get into college AND survive. Enjoy college while you're in it, though.

Micah said...

Whoops - the above should read "law school," not "college."

Kate - Vegas is probably one of my favorite places in the world. I just love the atmosphere. My friends aren't into clubbing, but one trip we planned on going to Studio 54 to meet up with the bartender that we met earlier in the day. Then we saw the line to get in, said "screw it" and went to Caesar's for martinis.

Kate The Great said...

Ahhh... I want to go back so bad. I went for the first time in September and saw so many hip places... I can't wait to go back. I was there only a Saturday/Sunday night and then left that Monday. I definitely needed one more night in there... not enough shakin' my bootie.