Friday, February 02, 2007

Screw you, Punxsutawney Phil


Okay, campers, rise and shine...

We barely have a winter and now you say that spring is just around the corner? You're dead to me.

13 comments:

The Dubin said...

Don't worry Micah. I'm pretty sure the whole Groundhog Day thing is bullshit. Besides, it's currently about 5 degrees out (before the wind chill) and we have 6 inches of snow on the ground, so Al Gore and his global warming retards can bite me.

spydrz said...

Rodents. Gross.

spydrz said...

BING!

jasdye said...

global warming scares the bejeebus out of me.

seriously. (so do rats. i'm not too sure about groundhogs, though.)

and the fact that it took til february to get below 0 weather in chicago also scres me.

The Dubin said...

I've got good news for you, then, jasdye...

(a) The world is actually 0.3 degrees cooler--on average--than it was a century ago.

(b) While alarmists warn of the Arctic ice cap thinning, the Antarctic and Greenland ice caps are getting larger (like Leon in "Airplane").

(c) Even before temperature recording, historians reported periods of unusually warm weather in the 1300's and 1400's, in the early 1700's, and interestingly, during the 1930's.

(d) Global warming "experts" (who, interestingly, seem deeply concerned and confident in their findings when they're receiving a grant from some Al Gore-like "foundation") often cite the shrinking of a few select glaciers as proof of climate change, yet they neglect to report of the thousands of unexplored glaciers around the world that are inexplicably expanding.

(e) If global warming really is occurring, it's most likely occurring because (and this IS a scientifically known and proven fact) the sun is getting hotter. I don't think Mars has gotten hotter from the emissions of SUV's here on Earth. And by the way, in a few million years, when the sun loses sufficient energy to reduce its gravitational strength, and it expands to 400 times its current size, then, yeah, there's gonna be some global warming.

So I wouldn't lose much sleep over global warming. Instead, worry about the real single greatest threat to mankind...ManBearPig!

P.S.--It's so cold right now my dog crapped 10 steps from the front door...she NEVER craps that quickly!

jasdye said...

i can't argue these facts, so i won't (although i will say that the fact that we are running our planet to the ground is self-evident. and that i'm much more concerned about big-oil than i could ever be of big-al).

but i stand by my original statement, "global warming... scres me."

The Dubin said...

Well, we can all agree that we're glad we won't be around when the sun explodes and everyone dies a fiery death like the inhabitants of Krypton. In the meantime, let's all enjoy the sub-zero temperatures.

Also, I should add that I'm irrationally afraid of spiders. Even the little tiny ones.

George said...

Winter, snow, what are these strange things you mainlanders speak of...

jasdye said...

see? george here lives in global warming village.

jasdye said...

Phil: What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same, and nothing that you did mattered?

Ralph: That about sums it up for me.

Micah said...

jasdye - Yeah, a village in the South Pacific called Saipan.

Anyone up for some flapjacks?

I've pretty much got to agree with Dubin on this one. His deft reference of Leon pretty much sealed the deal.

The Dubin said...

Yeah, and after I typed up those facts, I took the print-out and made it inot a pterodactyl.

jasdye said...

darn. bested by Airplane quotes again.