Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Hump Day News Round-Up

  • A new study finds that caffeine helps to stimulate short term memory. Wow - in addition to cleaning out my plumbing, coffee will also help me play Simon.
  • Jewish comedian Jackie Mason essentially says to those offended by Christmas: get over it. Thanks, Mr. Hartounian!
  • A Chicago cafe caused some controversy when the owner put up a sign saying, "Children of all ages have to behave and use their indoor voices." As a former busboy, I applaud the move.
  • The cardboard box has been added to the Toy Hall of Fame. Incidentally, my Christmas buying list has gotten a heck of a lot cheaper.

12 comments:

spydrz said...

Glad Mr. Hartounian finally stood up to those fonzanoons.

spydrz said...

I can't believe I engaged in quoting "The Worst Movie About Golf Ever Made."

The Dubin said...

Good old Jack Hartounian. For the record, I'm a Jew (bet you didn't know that), and I, too, love Christmas, when the Dubins gather for the traditional Chinese food and a movie.

spydrz said...

Update: Mr. Hartounian is on Comedy Central at this moment.

Micah said...

spydrz - First The Waterboy and now this movie. Any more quoting of those two will get your banned from the blog.

dubin - Oh, I know. One of the most magical Christmas Eves that I ever had was at Dubin Manor, surrounded by the Chosen People.

The Dubin said...

Ahh, too bad the laws of Kashrut (the "Kosher rules") forbid the mixing of reindeer meat and egg nog...we couldn't grant you the complete Christmas experience. But for Hanukkah, we mixed our potato latkes with the blood of Christian children (NOTE: Do not be concerned. This is just another tasteless Dubinesque reference to the centuries-old blood libel about how Jews make their matzah).

spydrz said...

Banned? Like when my Doritos bag self-destructed and I wasn't allowed to eat in your dorm room for a semester?

Captain Backfire said...

Wait, wait, wait. TheDubin's a Jew? Which one of you is the black one then? Awww, shit. Where's Shamrock when you need him?

The Dubin said...

I'm also black. Like Sammy Davis, Jr.

Micah said...

Dubin's Jewish? Okay, make that two people who are now banned from my blog.

Kidding, of course, bud. Go get yourself a nice haircut and take a hot shower.

Maybe watch that Christmas movie about trains. Choo-choooooo!

Shamrock's the black one. He's of Irish lineage and they are the N-words of the world.

jasdye said...

wait, i'm of puerto rican AND irish lineage. now, that's worth some currency here, right?

oh, wait. i'm also english. that kind of balances everything else out, right?

but wait, scottish too. yeah. back in the positive.

oh, dang. dutch. shoot. we messed up south africa too.

shoot.

Micah said...

Any way you look at it, you're just screwed, man.