Friday, September 01, 2006

Et tu, Jessica and Samuel?

Because of my freakish first name, I cannot receive a personalized phone call from Samuel L. Jackson, nor can I download a version of Jessica Simpson's "A Public Affair" that gives me a shout out. Yes, this is the hell that I've grown up with all of my life, especially in everyone's heavily-gifted personalized trinketed formative years. Bicycle license plates that say "Mike", key chains that say "Mitch" (my brother and sister's nickname for me), magnets reading "Michael".

While both of my siblings received their Captain Zoom birthday 45s, I got nada.

Maybe the lack of validation for my existence really screwed me up. Who knows?

11 comments:

The Law Fairy said...

Craziness!

I feel your pain. Most of my life I've been buying the novelty license plates that say "Beth." That's not my name, dammit! I was *really* surprised Samuel L. had my name on file...

spydrz said...

I wonder how that guy I get searches for all the time, Ne-Yo, must feel.

Micah said...

law fairy - I'm glad that you can relate, but you've still got a somewhat more common name than me, as evidenced by your phone call from Samuel L. Motherfuckin' Jackson.

spydrz - Probably the same way Beyonce feels.

The Law Fairy said...

Micah, true, but at least no one has ever confused you with a "Brittany" :P

Micah said...

So, I got that going for me...which is nice.

thse said...

I feel your pain. Even after all these years, I found myself disappointed after failing to find my name whilst looking through Colorado license plate keychains in a gift shop at DIA this summer. Don't parents take this into account when they decide on a name for their child? Obviously not, which is why my kids will be named Battlestar Galactica, Doctor Who, and Superunknown.

The Dubin said...

Wow, that sucks. Even I got a call from Samuel L. Jackson. Too bad your parents didn't give you a common name...like Bort.

cw said...

hey at least you can find "mike" or "mitch".
jan could have named you chlamidya or champagne.

and if youre still harboring angst over the cpt zoom thing, its time for therapy.

Kate said...

Oddly enough Samuel Jackson can't say Kate. That's very odd. Maybe the computer reads it like Katy or as in rhyming with Pate. Heh.

Micah said...

THSE - I think my kids' names will be Caddyshack, Futurama, and That Stripper Named Charity At The Crazy Horse.

dubin - Yeah, but it was actually SLJ that called you, not a recording. You guys are buds, right?

"We need more Bort license plates in the gift shop. I repeat, we are sold out of Bort license plates."

cw - I'm long overdue for therapy. You tell your mother I asked how she's doing.

kate - I believe he has a real life disorder where he can't pronounce your name.

Kate said...

I think it's cause he forgoes the other one syllable four letter colorful words for that 4 syllable 12 letter word he likes so much -- I'm sure if my name were Magdalena or Elizabeth he'd have no trouble with it. But he's not used to short words like Kate.