Requiem for the last comic standing

R.I.P. Greg Giraldo, 1965-2010.



He was my favorite lawyer/comedian, after Demetri Martin*.

*Technically, Martin's a law school dropout, but close enough...ladies.

You give love a bad name. Whatever. Nevermind.

Courtney Hole is none too pleased* that a dead-eyed Kurt Cobain is a playable character in the recently released Guitar Hero 5 and let loose a series of rambling tweets stating her disapproval, claiming breach of contract. Meanwhile, GH5 publisher Activision countered her accusation, claiming that Hole's signed contract allows Cobain's likeness to be used in such a manner.

If I was Activision's counsel, I'd also add "cocaine is a helluva drug."

You know, maybe I have some pent-up anger from seeing one too many Spin/Rolling Stone covers proclaiming this suicidal junkie to be the Spokesman Of My Generation (ugh!), but I kinda want to make Cobain sing some Bon Jovi now.

While on the topic of music games, I'm calling it: The Beatles: Rock Band is the Game of the Year. Playing it this weekend was a transcendent experience.

*Neither are Dave Grohl and Krist Novoselic, but they don't have any control over Cobain's estate.

A round of links for my friends

Need some good reads to pass the time? Here are some interesting articles that I've come across lately (100% Michael Jackson media circus-free!):

• Stripper pole aerobics classes aren't a crime...unless you live in a town like the one from Footloose.


• A lengthy (and a bit preachy towards the end) look at George Orwell's obsession with tobacco.


• The Farrah Fawcett-Ayn Rand connection


• I want to be a sleep tourist. Seriously.


• Did Michael Bay actually make an arthouse movie?


• You know, this may be my sepia-toned nostalgia talking, but 1999 was a really good year for music.


• 18 crazy (and legally unlikely) courtroom scenes

That's about it for now. I think I'll make this a regular thing (yeah, it's easy blog filler).

Barely legal (again)

Well, in the state of Virginia's eyes, my car is street legal once again. See, waaaaay back in September 2007 my car failed its state inspection due to a degrading serpentine belt, blown signal bulb, and a slight trickle of oil coming from one of the rear struts. I got the first two taken care of, but decided not to shell out the $500+ to fix the last violation just then. So I waited. And waited. And waited. It got to the point that, aside from going to and from work and other necessary trips, I'd only drive my car under the protective cloak of darkness. I was a scofflaw; the kind of guy that makes his way the only way he knows how (which, incidentally, is just a little bit more than law enforcement permits).

After two tickets for not having an inspection sticker and $202 in fines, I decided to finally take care of my problem. Thanks to a tip from some friends, I took my Jetta to a particular shop that is very, uh, lenient with their evaluations. I took my car in, expecting the worst since my tires are very worn and the suspension's shot, but it passed nonetheless! Today I am legal once more. Au revoir, my days of driving in fear. And police, I'm no longer an easy revenue generator. Sorry.

Tonight I'm celebrating the occasion with a bottle of mead and a healthy does of Jack Bauer. I'm just hoping that my finally making nice with Johnny Law won't diminish my "bad boy" status with the ladies.

Bonus Crush of the Week: Mug Shot Chick

This week's Bonus Crush is this lovely girl featured in the Smoking Gun's 2008 Mug Shots of the Year. Apparently, she was ejected from a Jersey bar and then "kicked, punched, and bit some cops."



Crazy chicks. You gotta love 'em.

"Are you now or have you ever been involved in douchebaggery? Remember, sir, that you are under oath."

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Bye Bye, Bonds

From the "No duh" file, Barry Bonds has been indicted on perjury charges regarding his "alleged"* steroid use.

Related Onion story: "Barry Bonds Took Steroids, Reports Everyone Who Has Ever Watched Baseball"

Well, duh.

*Yeah, right. (Hey, look! It's an asterisk!)

Ruh-roh

Only a fool pisses off Snoopy.

And now I'm on some government watchlist

Well, an era has come to an end: my law school parking permit sticker was curling and had to be removed. Sigh. I guess it was about time, as it expired August 15, 2004. Plus, all of the numbers faded long ago.



But I quickly replaced it with a Gadsden flag. Is it a warning to other nations or our own government? You decide.

In other "era" news, the old lamp in the room that I crash in at spydrz's house was a piece of junk, so I brought my old halogen "Hellfire" torchlight out of retirement. Now when I'm in the room, I'm reliving my sepia-toned college years. I just hope the R.A. doesn't write me up.

Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness! My-ymmuy.

Oh, let me taste your tears, Paris.

Christmas comes early for everyone this year. Thank you, Paris Hilton.

Kevin Kurgis destroy!

This is mainly for my C-Bus peeps (or anyone familiar with angry ambulance chaser Kevin Kurgis and his commercials). But I think it's still funny on its own.

Credit due: a good friend. (*Wink*)

"It's the feel-good class-action lawsuit of the summer!!!"

Well, it looks like Sony is going to pony up $1.5 million to settle the class-action lawsuit regarding movie advertisement blurbs by phantom critic David Manning. So, if you saw Vertical Limit, A Knight's Tale, The Animal, Hollow Man or The Patriot during their theatrical runs, you're entitled to $5 of your money back.

You know, I completely forgot about the existence of Hollow Man, much less the fact that I saw it in the theater, before reading this story. I wonder if Kevin Bacon feels the same way.

For info on how to make your claim, see this PDF file.

Credit due: Laughmachine.com

Ohio's spirits raised

According to this press release, sales and consumption of liquor in Ohio reached a record high in 2004. The top selling liquors in the state:

1. Kamchatka Vodka
2. Jack Daniels #7 Black Label Tennessee Whiskey
3. Bacardi Light-Dry Rum
4. Jagermeister
5. Absolut Vodka
6. Black Velvet Canadian Whiskey
7. Jim Beam Straight Bourbon
8. Captain Morgan Spiced Gold
9. Korski Vodka
10. Seagrams Crown Royal

What - no Boone's? Actually, that's technically classified as a "wine," much like Ashlee Simpson's performances are considered "singing." The biggest surprise is that Jagermeister ranks #4, when it wasn't even in the top 25 in 2002. The lesson: Ohioans love doing shots. Another thing you can take away from the above list is that we dig our cheap-ass supermarket vodka.

As with the Brad and Jennifer split, I take full responsibility for the rise in alchol consumption in the Buckeye State. You see, 2004 held several alcohol-soaked events in my life:

1. Third year law school exams
2. Graduation from law school
3. Took the bar exam
4. Didn't pass the bar exam
5. Threw and attended some great parties
6. Went to Vegas a couple of times (yeah yeah, I wasn't in Ohio, but boy did I consume)

The remainder of the state's consumption probably has something to do with the Buckeye's mostly shitty football season (and their beating of Michigan) and all of the presidential race stumping. You'd drink, too, if you had to hear a well-educated northeastern Senator trying to appear folksy by saying, "can I get me a huntin' license here?" Not to mention navigating the God-awful traffic created by Bush's weekly rallies in the state.

With a little luck (and some mixers), we can make 2005 the biggest drinking year yet. After all, I will be taking the bar exam again.

(Thanks to Memmer for notifying me that we're all lushes.)