A Very Micah Christmas 2015

It's been a different, much busier Christmas season for me this year. As such, I didn't have much time to devote to A Very Micah Christmas (or this blog, for that matter), but it's done! While I didn't put the usual blood, sweat, and eggnog into it that I normally do, I didn't half ass it either. I'll have you know I used *at least* three quarters of my ass.

So what's on tap for this year's edition? I'm glad you asked:

1. "This Year" - Tony Thaxton
2. "All I Want For Christmas Is You" - Samson Trinh & The Upper East Side Big Band with Laura Ann Singh
3. "Holiday P.D.A. (Underneath the Mistletoe)" - Matty Ride
4. "O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree" - Brooke Waggoner
5. "I Pray on Christmas" - Harry Connick, Jr.
6. "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing" - The Brian Setzer Orchestra
7. "Holiday in L.A." - Band of Merrymakers
8. "Christmas Is Coming" - The Muppets
9. "Christmas Pics" - Barenaked Ladies
10. "Like a Gift From God or Whatever" - Chris Farren with Jenny Owen Youngs
11. "Mistletoe" - American Youth
12. "Hanukkah Dance" - Woody Guthrie
13. "Christmas TV" - Slow Club
14. "Last Month of the Year" - The Blind Boys of Alabama
15. "My Favorite Things" - Shawn Lee's Ping Pong Orchestra
16. "New Year's Resolution" - Otis Redding & Carla Thomas
17. "Baby, It's Cold Outside" - Bill Murray & Jenny Lewis
18. "Winter Weather" - Joe Williams & Harry "Sweets" Edison
19. "Ding Dong! Merrily on High" - The George Shearing Quintet
20. "Boots" - The Killers
21. "The Song the Season Brings" - Beta Radio
22. "Mvmt IV, 'Every Bell on Earth Will Ring'" - The Oh Hellos
23. "Silent Night" - Odessa

You can snag it here.

But that's not all! If you act now you can stream (most of) it on Spotify:

Per usual, you're not getting the full experience there, what with it leaving out seven songs. But sometimes convenience trumps completeness.

And that's that about that. I hope you enjoy this year's mix. Merry Christmas! I'm going to take a nap now.

The Pumpkining II: 2 Sweet 2 Savory

Around this time last year my friend Suzanne and I competed in the first annual orange gourd-based cooking throwdown between us, The Pumpkining: Beyond Pumpkindome. She ran away with the top prize then - no surprise - and a good time was had by all.

Pumpkins! Pumpkins! Pumpkins!

However, with six desserts that we just had to eat, things got a bit too sweet that afternoon. (I almost lost a foot.) So we resolved that this year's edition would introduce some savory goodness into the mix.

And that's just what we did. Once again, she prepared most of her entries on the day prior. I planned on doing the same so things wouldn't be quite so hectic, but the day of the competition was unexpectedly (to me) moved up 24 hours. Things were quite hectic. Like Weezer predicted, though, everything was alright in the end.

Here were my submissions*:

I got tickets for Rush's fall tour, eh.

Pumpkin poutine (recipes for the pumpkin fries and the pumpkin nutmeg gravy) - Please note: due to the time crunch I wasn't able to go to the specialty cheese shop for curds, so I had to use Monteray Jack. My deepest apologies, Canucks.

Beat that, White Castle.

Pumpkin sliders topped with pumpkin BBQ sauce and pumpkin snickerdoodle cookies (recipes for the burgers, sauce, and cookies; I added Muenster cheese to the sliders.)

And now Suzanne's entries:

Soup is good food.

Chipotle chicken and pumpkin soup (recipe)

Stack 'em high.

Pumpkin pie toffee (recipe)

I unwittingly ate cream cheese.

Pumpkin cream puffs (recipe)

By, uh, tradition the judge for the context is determined by who is occupying the house next door to Suzanne. This year she had new neighbors, with the esteemed critic being chocolate and black lab owner extraordinaire Kenica. Due to the spread out nature of the cooking, the contest unfortunately didn't provide blind submissions. Suzanne provided Kenica with her offerings first and then a few hours of palate cleansing later I served up mine.

And just how did she rank the dishes? I'm glad you asked!

A whole mess o' pumpkin.

Per her post on Instagram:

Very thankful to have been selected to be the judge for the neighbors annual #pumpkinrecipe #cookoff! It was hard to pick a winner because they all were so delicious and to be honest the top 3 all should be#numberone But I had to vote... 1. Pumpkin slider with pumpkin BBQ sauce (perfect hint of cinnamon and tang, it was so yummy it needs to be on a menu)
2. Pumpkin cream puff with marshmallow (this is dangerously good w a bit of honey and overall could be sold at the top bakeries #obsessed )
3. Pumpkin fries (the texture was just like sweet potato fries but was made with the actual pumpkin cuttings...amazed to say the least)
4. Pumpkin chicken bean soup (had an extra kick which I loved and I want the recipe)
5. Snicker doodle pumpkin cookies (not my fave but ended up eating 2, so I guess they were pretty good) lol
6. Pumpkin toffee bar (was a little sticky but I like this idea)
Overall, this was so fun and I'm very impressed with their kitchen skills and wish you all could've taken part in this tasting to get you into the pumpkin spirit!

Victory is mine! Success was evenly divided, though, with me taking the odd places (natch) and Suzanne with the even ones. I totally agree with Kenica. Everything turned out great this year. It was the first time that I've cooked with actual pumpkin and let me tell you that it was a bit of a chore. It took forever to prep them. The video embedded in the French fries recipe shows the woman using a potato peeler to remove the skin. HA! My attempts broke two peelers and bruised my knuckles. I recommend using a knife. Also: one of the four pumpkins I bought must be constructed out of stone and has made a career switch from food to front porch decoration.

Anyway, aside from a couple of setbacks, it was another fun culinary throwdown. But with success comes dread. I have to up my game somehow to defend my crown next year. How the heck am I going to do that? Blurgh. That's a year away, though. Now my priority is to decide on a Halloween costume. I'm thinking sexy autumnal food competition winner.

*Regrets? I got a few. Mostly that I didn't take better, more mouthwatering food porn pictures. I didn't bring my camera and was constantly busy cooking. Sorry.

Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.

Every summer I try to read an epic-length book. Several weeks ago I decided this year I'd give Gone With the Wind a try when I was done with my current book. (From Russia With Love; yep, still chipping away at those 007 books.) Then Charleston happened and I wasn't really feeling it. But after the increasing amount of ridiculous overcorrections that are only tangentially related to that tragedy and do absolutely nothing to absolve us for our past sins, my interest in the book was renewed.

Well, I'm a couple of chapters in and find it to be a beautifully written work, painting a vivid picture of the South through words. Did that version ever exist? Maybe, probably not. The fact that reading it now weirdly feels like a small act of defiance is a bonus, though. And more than a little bit sad. From immaculate sculptures to silly TV shows from 30 years ago about backwoods moonshiners never meaning no harm, we can appreciate and learn from art, its roots being good or bad, innocent or less than so. Let's put it in it's proper historical context, not completely eradicate it from our collective consciousness just because it displeases us today. I'm sure the Dixie Chicks would agree.

I'm only streaming

I can't sleep to music. Well, that's not true. I can't sleep to music that is uptempo or has vocals. The rest? Fair game. My favorite album to drift away to dreamland to is Jason Falkner's exquisite Bedtime with the Beatles. (FYI: Volume One is much, much better than Volume Two.) But sometimes you just need a little more variety, you know?

So last month I created a playlist in Spotify that's chock full of instrumental lullaby versions of pop, rock, hip-hop, and alternative songs:



At 390 songs (Almost 23 hours' worth!) the novelty value was off the charts. I gave it three nights before abandoning it because the playlist was terribly ineffective. If my brain wasn't actively trying to figure out which song was being covered, the higher pitched toy piano playing the melodies on most of the songs was keeping me up.

So I moved on to... what's the opposite of classical thunder? Classical light breeze? Anyway, I gave some of Spotify's pre-made "Sleep" playlists a spin for a week or so. Specifically, the piano, classical, jazz, ambient music, and various meteorological ones. Not bad, though none of them were terribly deep. That's not much of a concern, though, when the objective is to only hear a few songs before losing consciousness.

With my brain now on the same wavelength as the music, a new problem was brought to the fore: advertisements. While I absolutely love Spotify Premium, I did not renew after my three month trial ran out. Uninterrupted music on demand is an unnecessary expense and I've eliminated all of those that I reasonably can. (See, I'm currently unemployed.) So that means I have to hear ads every few songs. It's no big deal really. Except when I'm trying to sleep. Every time one would come on it would momentarily snap me out of it and I'd go all Admiral Stockdale - WHO AM I? WHY AM I HERE? - before I managed to make my way back into dreamland. Clearly this wasn't working.

Then Google Play Music suddenly offered a free version of their subscription service.

I was *this close* to putting Pandora on my phone when Google made the announcement. Figuring that Google Play Music was already installed on my phone and storage space there is a precious commodity, I nixed my plans. It was time to see what Google brought to the increasingly crowded streaming music market.

Like Spotify, it also has a section of curated playlists for sleeping. Unlike Spotify, it doesn't tell you which tracks or how many songs are in them. Intrigued by its air of mystery, I put two of Google Play's classical and jazz stations to the somnolent test. Guess what? I freakin' loved it. While this new free tier is ad supported, those come in the form of banners and pop ups. There was nothing audible to jar me out of sleep. For that reason alone, Google Play Music radio is a keeper.



I've put many hours into the service during my waking hours, too, and have been quite enjoying it. There are a whole lot of stations to choose from. There was one weird occurance early on when I booted up the '90s Alternative Rock Radio, possibly the genre I'm most into. (Nostalgia is a hell of a drug.) The first song it played was by the Gin Blossoms, followed... the Gin Blossoms. Odd. That's only happened once. Other than that I haven't notice too much repetition so far.

I'm particularly loving the Indie R&B station, which has exposed me to a bunch of new artists and songs. My current favorite discovery is AlunaGeorge's "Your Drums, Your Love". For the past several years I've tried to make it a point each summer to delve into a genre I'm not overly familiar with, like classic reggae or Memphis soul. I hadn't planned on do that this year, but indie R&B - or *snicker* PBR&B - found me. I've been a fan of The Weeknd for years, but now it's time to take it further. Welcome, new soundtrack to the remainder of my summer.

But I digress. In the end, each streaming service has its strengths and I'll use both accordingly. Spotify will be for when I want something familiar via the many playlists I've make there. Google Play Music will come in handy for night time listening and when I want to discover something new. Ain't technology grand? This is a marvelous time to be alive.

Well, unless you make your living solely through creating music, I guess. I'll let David Lowery sort that out.

Money can be exchanged for goods and services!

Summer is fast approaching - honestly, it feels like it's already here - and I figured that I should make a few fun and kicky tweaks to cope with the climbing temperatures. So I temporarily unfroze my personal spending freeze and hit up eBay.

A hair past a freckle.

First I dropped less than $2 on this Chinese knock-off Fitbit Flex band. You get what you pay for, but it has held up for a week and counting. So far, so good! I have two official Fitbit bands, but they're getting really torn up after a couple of years of continuous wearing, swapping out the module, etc. This may just be a stopgap solution, but at least it's a dirt cheap one.

But my mom says I'm cool.

The second of my two purchases was this Simpsons Mighty Wallet. Some who know me are probably shocked that I didn't own it already, what with how that show is almost a second religion to me. (You're still tops, Jebus.) The construction is kind of weird: It's one big sheet of Tyvek - you know, the nigh indestructible stuff overnight envelopes are made out of - folded a certain way. It's taken some getting used to, but I've grown to really like this wallet. It is well worth the $3 I spent on it. Not for the seller, though. It was her first auction and per the mailer I received, the shipping alone cost more than that. There's an eBay learning curve. She'll get there.

Sour C.R.E.A.M.

And since we're talking about wallets, this is my old one, which I've used daily since the mid-aughts. I got it at a Tommy Hilfiger outlet in Hilton Head. See how the white in the logo is now yellow? Yeah, it's high time that I gave it a rest. Though when the situation calls for a little more professionalism - say, a business lunch or trip to the petting zoo (damn those judgmental goats!) - I'll bring it back out of retirement.

Yeah, I guess it's my favorite movie.

Or maybe I'll just go with my other standby, given to me by Kate the Great many moons ago. I imagine that this wallet will be promoted to be my daily companion when I enter the "walk the Earth" phase of my life. Wait. Shouldn't I be doing that right now? I need to call my career counselor.

Newer shoes? I still can't wait.

So my first professionally-fit pair of running shoes that I got in January? They didn't take. My body rejected them. When I ran in them the pain in my knees was much sharper and appeared a great deal sooner than usual. (Within the first quarter to half mile.) What's more, new pains appeared in my shins and hip. I gave them a shot: five runs of about three miles each. The New Balances hurt me every single time. Were my overpronating legs weird in that stability shoes made things worse?

Luckily I was still within the return window and took them back to Lucky Foot over the weekend. They took them back with no questions asked and set about helping me to find the perfect shoe. It turns out that within stability shoes there are a range of how much correction they provide. Last time I must've erred on the side of massive support. Maybe that's what hurt me so much? I tried on four more pairs, no repeats from my last fitting there. Three of them were stability shoes, one was neutral.

It was a lengthy process, but I ultimately settled on this pair ASICS GT-2000 3's. I really liked the cushioning. They feel like pillows strapped onto my feet. Also, bonus points for the wilder colors than the more conservative New Balances. Granted, all that's meaningless if I take them out for a run and they try to kill me.

I'm going for my inaugural run in them in a few minutes. Here's hoping that I finally found The Ones. If not, well, then I think that will be my body's way of tell me "No stability shoes for you!" I'll go back to the store and try the neutral Sauconys I tried on.

"And the Oscar goes to... Nicolas Cage's hairpiece!"

Ah, Oscar night. The glitz! The glamour! The sitting around in elastic-waist pants and typing out snarky commentary in real time! Yes, this is our time to shine, ladies and germs.

Though I'll no doubt be thinking to myself mid-ceremony "I delayed watching The Walking Dead for *this*?" I look forward all year to tonight. It's weird because I couldn't give a flying fig for any other awards show and going in I usually on have seen a paltry number of the nominees. (Well, I do see the films in the technical categories, since those are typically big, dumb, and loud.) This year is no exception. So who will take home the statue? The true-ish story of the military's most deadly gunman (Boyhood), the tale of a tough but inspiring drumming instructor (Birdman: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire), a brutal examination of America's racist past (The Theory of Everything)? The one about the guy in a wheelchair (Selma)? A write-in for the criminally overlooked LEGO Movie?

The only Best Picture nominee that I've seen is The Grand Budapest Hotel, which I greatly enjoyed. Wes Anderson is back, baby! (I was lukewarm on Moonrise Kingdom.) What other movies did I see and love this year? I'm glad you asked. Get thee to a Redbox and snag They Came Together, Guardians of the Galaxy, Captain America: The Winter Solder, The LEGO Movie. X-Men: Days of Future Past.

Back to Oscar night... oh, the fashion! I don't care! But I know that the press needs to churn out content and the public craves something to lap up, so I'll clue you into who I'm wearing tonight: shorts by House of Adidas, t-shirt by Georgio de la Sports Backers, hoodie by United Colors of Fruit of the Loom, and socks by Pierre Starter. Swanky!

Per usual, I'll be live blogging the ceremony here in the comments section. I invite you to join in the snarkfest and comment along. Feel free to talk smack about what films and actors you hate, who you love, what a disaster the telecast is, who you are wearing, your prognostications, the most glaring snubs, etc. If I come across an exceptionally funny tweet I'll post it.

Give us a night to remember, phoney Hollywood One Percenters! Make it well worth me putting my binge watching of Bosch on hold. (That show is my current jam, BTW.)

UPDATE (03.02.15): A hearty congratulations goes out to KPMD for winning this year's Oscar pool. Her impressive run - including starting out with an 11-0 streak - put us all to shame.

The award ceremony was held while she was in town yesterday, at D-Hall. Because of her Guatemalan-ness - her natural heat - she won a copy of The Birdcage. Thanks to everyone who played and came here to lay down some snark. You guys make it fun.

New shoes? I can't wait.

I'm creeping up on it being one year since I started doing this stupid running thing and I guess it's going to stick. Figuring it was about time that I got my first pair of professionally-fitted shoes, I headed to Lucky Foot to get an analysis.

It turns out that my feet collapse inward as I run, setting off a chain reaction of stress in my knee and hip. That explains the pain! All this time I've been running in a pair of neutral shoes, but I actually need stability ones. So I tried on three pairs and settled on these New Balances. Even with a discount for belonging to Gold's Gym, these are the most expensive pair of sneakers I've ever owned. But I guess they do more than sneak.

It's funny: in every other area of footwear I much, much, MUCH prefer something understated and conservative. Yet for running shoes I like to peacock with shoes that are slightly gaudy. (Though I do have my limits.) Honestly, I find my new shoes to be pretty boring. Though here function should trump form, I guess. Still, zzzzzz...

After the snow melted I took my new shoes out for their inaugural run and... I don't know. I went on a four mile run and at mile three my hip was killing me. So much so that I had to walk for about 30 seconds before resuming my run. And my knee still hurts. I can't tell if it's more or less than with my old shoes.

Maybe my body just needs to acclimate to a different type of shoe after getting used to my old neutral pair. Jeff at Lucky Foot did say that they wouldn't be an instant panacea to my problems. I'd also have to build my leg muscles up, as well as stretch adequately before running. So I'll give them a few more runs before I make a final verdict.

runemployed 08: suburban NYE

"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done." - Rocky Balboa

Last night my mom asked me why I haven't done one of these lately. The simple answer is that while I've still been running, I've been uninspired to drive somewhere new to do it. I've had some great times during the Autumn of Micah, but recently those have been eclipsed by doubt, frustration, and worry. Financial realities are setting in and I'll most likely have to resume temping very soon, which I am extremely loathe to do. (I *really* don't want to settle into another years-long comfortable rut.) Things have been getting me down. Unsurprisingly, this has coincided with by far my least favorite holiday.

I can't stand New Year's Eve. Because of said rut - actually, way before that - I tend to reflect upon everything I didn't accomplish over the past year. And all of those personal and professional failures just make me feel that nothing's going to change in the new year. And to be perfectly honest, that's how it's worked out. I'm in stasis. Sure, there are people out there who are in much, much worse situations than me. I realize that I'm lucky to have food and a roof, as well as good friends and a close family. But there are also many folks out there who have things I feel are out of my reach: a fulfilling job that pays more than just basic living expenses, someone who loves them, kids, security for the future, a life beyond suburban isolation. When the ball drops and yet again there's no congratulatory kiss... well, it ain't a fun feeling.

This cold afternoon I took to the surrounding neighborhoods and ran. And ran. And ran. I ran farther than I ever have before without stopping or walking. (Granted, I did it slowly, but the point is I did it.) I was in full on Forrest Gump beast mode. This was all powered by a need to feel a sense of accomplishment. This was fueled by 365 days of frustration and negativity. This was driven by a strong desire to eat a lot of candy tonight.

Oddly, I walked part of my fastest 10k time. Weird.

I didn't stop to take any pictures like I normally have done for this series. I didn't want to break my stride. And really, it's the suburbs. What's to see?

Physically, I really needed this. I've gained back some of my weight loss since Halloween. Twelve pounds, to be exact. Who would've figured that pumpkin spice everything, bowls of trick or treat candy, supper clubs, a friend's nearly endless parade of pies, Thanksgiving dinner, and a string of Christmas get togethers would all take their toll? Crazy talk! As of this week I've reduced that figure to 10 lbs., but I still would like to knock that down some more before I resume maintaining. Longer distances will help.

Throughout today's run I mostly put one song from my running playlist on repeat: Eminem's "Rabbit Run" from the 8 Mile soundtrack. It's one of my favorites of his. Want to get pumped up by a song about perseverance in the face of adversity? Striving to overcome self doubt? Making your voice heard, literally and figuratively? Here you go.



Some days I just wanna up and call it quits
I feel like I'm surrounded by a wall of bricks
Every time I go to get up I just fall in pits
My life's like one great big ball of shit
If I could just put it all into all I spit
Instead I always try to swallow it
...
I'm like a skillet bubbling until it filters up
I'm about to kill it, I can feel it building up
Blow this building up
I've concealed enough
My cup runneth over
I've done filled it up
...
I'm fizzling now
Thought I figured it out
Ball's in my court, but I'm scared to dribble it out
I'm afraid, but why am I afraid?
Why am I a slave to this trade?
...
I'll be back, baby, I just got to beat this clock
Fuck this clock, I'ma make them eat this watch
Don't believe me? Watch.
I'ma win this race

It wasn't all focused intensity, though. I closed out my run with Jerry Reed's "East Bound and Down." That song is dope, too!

Of course, I came back from my run to find that there was no water due to a main break. There's a good chance I'll die dehydrated and smelly on the worst night of the year. But if I pull through, I know I have to channel my inner Rocky Balboa in the new year. I've got to push harder in 2015. Get out of my comfort zone. Think positively. Create my own opportunities. Meet new people. Give that hulking Russian the beatdown of a lifetime.

To me, that last one some seems like the easiest. I'll do that one first.

A Very Micah Christmas 2014

Finally ready for public consumption is my Christmas mix for this year. It’s got grooves! It’s got reverence! It’s got Rachael Ray forever linked to a crushing sensation of holiday melancholy!

For your streaming convenience, I put my mix into Spotify, but they don't have licenses to all of the songs. What you see is what you get:



The full A Very Micah Christmas 2014 experience goes a little like this:

1. "Christmas in the City" - Nick D' & The Believers
2. "Angels We Have Heard on High" - Quiet Company
3. "I Know What You're Doing for Christmas" - Nerina Pallot
4. "Snow Falls Down" - Good Old War
5. "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing" - Citizens & Saints
6. "Every Day's a Holiday" - Piney Gir
7. "A Wonderful Christmas Time" - Jon Windle
8. "Countdown to Christmas" - Glam Chops
9. "Must Be Santa" - Bob Dylan
10. "Up on the Housetop" - The Gospel Whiskey Runners
11. "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" - Scott Bradlee & Postmodern Jukebox
12. "I Don't Need No Santa Claus" - Fiction Family
13. "Jingle Bells" - Ben Rector
14. "Christmas Threw Up All Over You" - April Smith & The Great Picture Show
15. "Best Kind of Friend" - Christabel and The Jons
16. "Santa Have Mercy" - CALICO the Band
17. "Lumberjack Christmas/No One Can Save You From Christmases Past" - Sufjan Stevens
18. "Baby, It's Cold Outside" - 8mm
19. "Joy to the World" - Andrew Ripp
20. "Christmas Party" - Dr. Dog
21. "Christmas at the Airport" - Nick Lowe
22. "The Smile of Rachael Ray" - David Mead
23. "Daniela Andrade - "Santa Baby"
24. "Away in a Manger" - The Innocence Mission
25. "Give Me Love (Give Me Peace on Earth)" - matt pond PA
26. "Silent Night" - Branches
27. "Last Day of the Year" - Loudon Wainwright III
28. Surprise!

I have not yet uploaded the entire mix yet. If you want it, give me a gentle prod!

OMG! An ill reindeer!

No one said running was one of the reindeer games. Pass. Christmas and a running buddy makes the act a bit more bearable. It's still dumb, though. (And please excuse my crazy eyes in the first picture. They're filled with wonder!)

runemployed 07: University of Richmond

In which I try to turn a negative situation into a positive one and explore Richmond in the process.

It's been over a month since I've done one of these posts and, honestly, I've really missed getting out there. (Who am I?) See, I had a terrible case of poison ivy - stemming from a bizarre gardening accident - and I didn't want to aggravate my condition while I was recovering. And when I was ready to come back, rain put the kibosh on some of my planned trips. But in that time I became a member of the Richmond Road Runners (No, really, who am I?) and registered for a couple of races in November, bringing the total for that month up to three. (Stop it. You're scaring me.)

I'm back at it now, though, and what better place to resume this series than my alma mater, the University of Richmond?

Groundskeeper Willie's working overtime.

Though I didn't start matriculating there until 1994, UR was established way back in 1830. (Thank you, Baptists!) I guess some stuff happened before my time, like eventually losing its affiliation with the church and focusing on molding the minds of young men and women decked out in Izod. FUN FACT: while a certain school whose colors are yellow and black has the arrogance to claim to represent the entire city, ours actually has the word Richmond in its name. Plus you have a significantly less chance of getting mugged on our campus.

Insert a "The Waltons" reference here.

Without a doubt, the best years of my life were spent on these grounds. I made several close, lasting friendships and we generated four years' worth of good memories. Oh, and I learned a few things, too. But one thing I wasn't back in the mid '90s was fit. The "freshman 50" hit me hard. Yes, I really committed to that common curse. You should see our dining facility. The Wall of Cereal alone...

Come for the Leadership Studies major. Stay for the beautiful foliage.

I think I can say with authority that one of the things I never did during my time at Richmond was move at pace faster than "hurried mosey." (Okay, maybe if I was late to class I would break into "rushed amble.") Exercise was not a priority. Considering that I ate a grilled cheese sandwich with every meal, you'd think I'd be mindful of that. Nope. So jogging around campus yesterday provided a point of view that was brand new to me.

Sports!

And that point of view mostly consisted of "Boy, this place sure is hilly." Honestly, I never realized that until doing this run. Sure, Boatwright Drive as you enter campus is steep and twisty, but the other roads on campus never registered that way to me. Earlier this week I signed up to do a 10k here on Thanksgiving morning. What have I gotten myself into?

When viewed like this, the fact that you can't run the lake's circumference bugs me.

Back in my day, the two schools that make up the university - Richmond College for the men, Westhampton College for the women - were separated by Westhampton Lake. Yes, it was like summer camp with textbooks and Milwaukee's Best. Unsure if my old restraining order was still in effect, I kept my run pretty much on the RC side.

Squint through the leaves and you can see my freshman dorm room on the 3rd floor. Good times.

The loop around the lake is a very pretty run. Bonus points if you enjoy looking at water fowl. Sadly, there were no lake dogs there yesterday. I ran past lots of bricks, fallen leaves, and co-eds that (sadly) look like children to me now. Aside from the lake, everywhere I went seemed like I was going uphill, which I probably was. Next time I'll venture over to the Westhampton side and get a feel for its terrain.

There's a pirate joke in there somewhere.

My initial thought for this post's selection from my running playlist was to use a song that was a big part of my college experience. Oh, how I tormented my friends and dormmates with my incessant playing of G. Love & Special Sauce's "Cold Beverage" and Blood, Sweat & Tears' "Spinning Wheel." But this being Halloween time and all, I figured that I should bust out a spooky tune, so I'm going with the Talking Heads' "Psycho Killer." There's no personal significance, just a driving beat that'll keep you going. Pretend you're getting chased by Patrick Bateman!

Psycho killer

Qu'est-ce que c'est

Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa better

Run run run run run run run away

My only legacy.

They say you can't go home again, but I proved them all wrong. In fact, it was really easy. SUCKERS! It was great seeing UR from a new vantage point and recalling some fond memories while doing so. Richmond is beautiful all year round, but especially in the fall. If you don't mind a bit of a climb, I suggest you get out there and enjoy its rolling hills while they're at Peak Prettiness. I'll be back there early on Thanksgiving morning, banking enough calories for me to eat an entire pumpkin pie later on that day.

Every Simpson dance now!

When I was invited to my friends Tony and Lauren's Halloween party - in which men were to dress like women and vice versa - my mind reeled at the costume possibilities. My first thought was to go as Marilyn Monroe so I could show off my slammin' new bod. (Sarcastic "Ha!") But then I thought that one was kind of played out. Inspiration struck and I got a great idea. One that would embody one of my greatest passions and reflect what makes me me. So this past Saturday I achieved Peak Simpson Mania and dressed up as Marge Simpson.

I really should've brought a couple of gallons of homemade Pepsi to bring to the party.

I put a lot of time, effort, and money into this costume. Probably way more than I should have, but it paid off. I was a real head-turner. (In a good way, I hope.)

No need to purchase any Blue Dye #56.

It all started with the wig, which also was the most expensive part. At first I was going to go with this one since it was fairly cheap, but I was afraid that the "shiny mylar accents" would look weird, especially up close. So I ponied up a little more and bought this wig. Luckily, I had a lot of Amazon gift cards at my disposal (thank you, Bing Rewards!), so it only set me back a few dollars. It came with these bushy sideburns that obscured my face, but they were easily lopped off. To get it to stand up straight I stuffed newspaper up inside it. Voila! Instant Marge hair.

It really accentuated my curves.

The next problem to solve was what to do about the dress. Goodwill was a bust, as were other retail outlets. It's every boy's dream to have his mom make a dress for him and thankfully my wonderful, caring, and talented mother was game. She put a ton of work into making this for me (in between fits of panicked laughter) and it turned out great. The elastic band around the waist really gave me the illusion of having hips. She left room up top to accommodate stuffing. I'm not proud of it, but I wore a strapless boulder holder, which I filled with stuffing material. (I wore my Fitbit in there, too.) All night I was struggling to keep "the girls" up. I now respect your plight, women.

Sensible just like Marge.

Shoes were also a concern. I found a pair at Payless that would've worked, but there was no way I was going to lay down $20 for some flats I'll never wear again. K-Mart came through and had these on clearance for $5. Luckily, with that chain being the ghost town that it is, not many people saw me trying on womens' footwear. Marge's shoes don't have perforations, but that's a compromise I was willing to make for the price. Also these were originally black and white, though that's nothing a few coats of spray paint didn't fix. I kept them on throughout most of the party until the discomfort became unbearable. Again, much respect, ladies.

Heh heh. Pearl necklace.

The last piece of attire I needed was Marge's string of red pearls. Like with the rest of this costume's components, I was fairly clueless about them. My friend Suzanne introduced me to the world of beads and I picked up these perfect red wooden ones and a length of elastic string from Bangles and Beads in Carytown. Unfortunately, I bought too many beads and learned of the store's terrible "no refunds" policy firsthand. You've been warned.

Mommy's little girl.

The right accessory will knock an outfit out the park and it's no different for Halloween costumes. I think this Maggie Simpson doll that I bought on ebay put it over the top.

Winner winner, pork chop dinner!

The costume all came together nicely. So nicely in fact that I won the contest at the party. Initially I tied with a Samantha from Sex & The City. (Who somehow morphed into Joan Rivers during the course of the night.) I emerged victorious from the tiebreaker by one vote. Hey, a win is a win. A big thanks to everyone who voted for me. I dedicate the fancy bottle of Spanish wine that I won to you.

I've long held the notion that one of the things that makes Halloween great is that, in Jim Gaffigan's words, "women use it as an excuse to dress like prostitutes." Now it was my turn to be the belle of the ball. It was the prettiest night of my life, even if it didn't end with my elbows getting nibbled.*

*I'm confident that one of these days my dream of being dressed as a woman and making out with a woman dressed as a man will finally come true.

runemployed 06: Church Hill

In which I try to turn a negative situation into a positive one and explore Richmond in the process.

Today was a beautiful day for a jog. Bright yet the air had a crispness to it. Still green, but with none of the drawbacks of summer. Of which there are many. (Yes, I'm a hater.) Why not spend it in the part of town that I've frequented the most, aside from the times I was schooled and resided in the West End? That's right, it was time to go to Church Hill.

Liberty, Death, or Draw!

Church Hill is a lovely part of Richmond where you'll find old houses owned by people who aren't too keen on new baseball stadiums, some great places to eat and drink, and O.G. patriot Patrick Henry's favorite place of worship. Sections of Church Hill are quite upscale. Others... uh, not so much. Last week I used this space to gush over my friends and this neighborhood has the largest concentration of them, hence my spending copious amounts of time here. Heck, I was even part of a formidable pub trivia team for a while. (The Publicans 4 life, son.)

Fat and awkward file photo, 2009

So, I love this area and figured it was about time that I jogged through it. Over the weekend I went to Chimborazo Park for the first time, to catch a showing of O Brother, Where Art Thou? As I am bona fide, that was a good enough starting place as any for me today.

The inspiration for Weekend Update with Dennis Miller.

Chimborazo is a National Battlefield Park, which during the Civil War was the site of the largest military hospital in the world, consisting of 150 buildings and 100 tents. Long gone are the 76,000 patients, but I assume their specters still roam the park, forever trapped on this mortal plane. Or not. The only other entities I saw as I ran through there were a few guys sitting in parked cars. I should've stopped to pick up one rock of crack while I had the chance.

Not a cloud in the sky. Except for that one. And that one. And that one...

The jog through there itself wasn't bad. Some of the streets are closed to traffic, but the ones that aren't have wide sidewalks that run along them. The loop around the entire park is pretty short, so I continued on to another park a few blocks away.

Taller than the Union Soldiers Monument, so technically the South has risen again.

I made my way to Libby Hill Park next. Here you'll find a spectacular 180 degree view of Richmond. It's said that the city got its name because William Byrd thought the view from this point closely resembled a village west of London called Richmond upon Thames.

I just don't see it. Byrd was crazy.

As its name implies, Church Hill has got some hills, broseph. I kept away from the major inclines, but still hit some that made me put in some effort. And this is where I found them. Part of the perimeter loop around the park is pretty steep. It mixed things up nicely, though, and kept my run interesting.

You're gonna hear me roar.

This is by far my fastest run since I started logging them with Strava, if not of all time. (Previously I used Runtastic and I think you have to pay extra for that kind of information. Eff that noise.) It could've been the day's weather or possibly the elevation, but I think I pushed it harder than usual because I was running against the wind for the first part of my trip. Whatever it was, I set personal records for my fastest mile and kilometer. Remind me to check the DMV site to see if HOTSHIT is an available license plate.

It's not every day you find motivational sidewalks.

Being up here gives me a strong itch to get out of the suburbs. Every day my soul dies a little more down there. I need to be around my friends and non-chain dining and interesting sights, sounds, and smells. Which brings me to today's selection from my running playlist: The Killers' "Read My Mind," off of their 2006 sophomore effort Sam's Town. More than any other band currently working, these guys really have a way with a soaring chorus and this is my second favorite number of theirs, right after "All These Things That I Have Done." I think my desire to leave is reflected nicely by the song's narrator.



I never really gave up on
Breakin' out of this two-star town
I got the green light
I got a little fight
I'm gonna turn this thing around

Three cheers for carbs!

Having banked some calories and with it being lunchtime, I decided to stick around Church Hill for a bite to eat. My first choice was Proper Pie Co., which I've been wanting to try for a long time now. Savory pies made by a Kiwi? Count me in. Well, it was poor planning on my part because they're closed on Mondays. So I hit up aspiring den of iniquity Capt. Buzzy's Beanery for an iced coffee, a bacon, egg, and cheese on wheat bread, and a chocolate and peanut butter scone. I left full and satisfied. Not bad for a second choice.

I know all about bloody runs.

It was a great early autumn morning to get out and while I only covered 2.6 miles, I hope to traverse a lot more of Church Hill in the future. Maybe as a resident? We'll see. I could probably find a burnt out townhouse in the sketchier part of the neighborhood that I could squat in. Reduce! Reuse! Recycle!