Saturday, March 12, 2005

The best thing about "Man of the House" tanking...

...I no longer have to see commercials that have Tommy Lee Jones saying, "This is my happy faaaaaace." TLJ, just because you have an Oscar, doesn't mean you have to follow Cuba Gooding Jr.'s lead by making shitty movies.

Personally, I think moviegoers are staying away because they are confused and think this is a rerelease of the horrid 1995 Chevy Chase/Jonathan Taylor Thomas flick.

9 comments:

spydrz said...

C'mon. You know you want to see it.

Captain Backfire said...

OMG!!!! Liek, I totally can't believe you dissed JTT like that!!!! He's, like, SOOOOO HaWT. YOu suck!@!@#@?!@#

But seriously, how did this steaming turd tank while "The Pacifier" makes $30mil in its opening weekend? Will Vin Diesel be sitting down with James Lipton in the near future?

Micah said...

Well, James Lipton thinks that Meg Ryan is a great actress, nay, thespian. He'll cream his pants for even the worst actor as long as he/she does the "Actor Studio" show. So, yes, I wouldn't be surprised to see Vin on there. His parents Mr. and Mrs. Diesel will be proud.

Did you catch the clip of his upcoming movie where he plays a mobster on trial representing himself...with hair? *groan* And then he'll play Hannibal. Uh, okay. At least he had the sense not to do the "xXx" sequel.

Captain Backfire said...

It's nice to see that the failures of Troy and Alexander won't deter Hollywood from another sucky period epic with an ill-cast lead. Bravo, studio heads!

And "Actor's Studio" lost all credibility when it became a Bravo/NBC cross-promotional joke with the Jay Leno episode. Granted, he was Oscar-worthy in the classic "Collision Course" with Pat Morita, but can he really be called an actor?

Micah said...

"Troy" sucked. Didn't see "Alexander" - almost went to it when it was at the dollar theater, but changed my mind. Maybe there'll be a decent period epic sometime in the future a la "Gladiator" (the 1992 Cuba Gooding Jr. boxing flick, that is).

I found Jay Leno's performance in "Collision Course" to be scrumtrulescent.

KPMD said...

Now, can you only imagine a movie including all these amazing actors? Vin Diesel, Tommy Lee Jones, JTT, Chevy Chase, Pat Morita, and Jay Leno? It doesn't even matter what the movie would be about, the cavalcade of stars alone would guarantee Titanic like returns.

Micah said...

I seriously doubt that the world is ready for a movie with that kind of star wattage.

Captain Backfire said...

I don't know--it worked for "It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World" and of course, more recently "Rat Race". Top billing, naturally, would go to Abe Vigoda. If he hasn't died, that is.

Micah said...

Abe Vigoda's been dead since The Godfather. The holographic video of him that was used in "Barney Miller" and subsequent appearances was created on the same Hollywood soundstage where the moon landing was faked. The Bush administration perpetuates the lie to keep the masses sated so that it can continue its clandestine land war in Newfoundland. At least, that's what Michael Moore says.