Saturday, March 05, 2005

"My few hours at the Arnold Classic" or "BEEFCAKE!"

A friend of mine won an entry for a drawing for a new Kia, as well as two tickets to the Arnold Classic held here in Cowtown. The convention center was packed with 'roided out men and women, booth babes, and normals. I swear, I've never been someplace where the "she's a man, baby" women to hot women ratio is 1:1. I only took pictures of the hot ones. Mmmm...body glitter. Booth babes, anyone?

Like I have a chance.

Juiced up meatheads were everywhere. BEEFCAKE! This one was some Meathead Celebrity. I had no clue who he was, but the Regular Meatheads were creaming their pants over him (well, they would if their genetalia weren't all shrunken):

"Nice bicep, Thunder."

As we were leaving, the governor of Kali-forn-i-a showed up. I was close enough to hypothetically shake his hand and transmit a deadly virus. I really wanted to shout, "I love you, Gambler!" but I don't think anyone'd get the reference. That and I didn't want to be jumped by his security.

"It's not a tumor."

So, I came home with plenty of free crap: magazines, protein mixes, workout towel, power drink, lots of colored pills. Just for gits and shiggles, I should ingest all of the consumables at once and see what they do.

What the hell am I gonna do with this stuff?

All in all, it was a pretty fun morning. I received the aforementioned free junk, basked in the Governator's glow, witnessed some freaks of nature, and left sexually frustrated after being in such close proximity to all of the booth babes. Those with access to my Imagestation, the album's already up.


spydrz said...

In Austria, ve are calling ze state Kully-for-nea.

Micah said...

KPMD - Hmmm...probably mostly real...maybe...kinda. Today really reminded me of Vegas. Anyway, I'm not so shallow and superficial that I demand women to be 100% "real."

Boy, would I like to puncture one of them dolls. HAR HAR!

spydrz said...

Did you eat all of the pills yet?

Micah said...

Not just yet. Don't want to be up all night. I think I'm going to do some internet research before I put any of those chemicals in my body.

spydrz said...

Hmmm. Sounds like a plan.
I went out last night, so tonight's a stay-at-home boredom fest. I dragged out all these old VHS tapes from like 1987 and looked through them. Some of those commercials are classic!! Also, how on earth did we put up with the terrible picture quality of a tape? I keep checking to see if my contacts are in, because the picture is so bad.

Micah said...

Well, if you're bored, switch on over to AMC. It's right up your alley tonight.

KPMD - If you're going to Vegas with us, brace yourself because ALL of the women out there look like that. (And I lurve it)

spydrz said...

M-I already have the DVD set of all three Smokey movies...watching it cut, censored, and with Roni Deutch commercials isn't the same...

spydrz said...

Funniest line from Smokey:

Buford T. Justice: This happens every time one of these floozies starts poontangin' around with those show folk fags.

Panthergirl said...

Didn't you want to go up to at least ONE meathead and ask to see his teeny tiny testicles?

If you take that stuff you WILL be up all night! Even just the "vitamins".