Thursday, August 11, 2005

Hey Vern, I feel my IQ dropping 50 points

This morning I turned on the TV, which was set on Encore (from last night's viewing of Lost in Translation). And what was playing when I turned it on? The cinematic classic Ernest Goes to School. Now normally when something like this would happen, I couldn't change the channel fast enough - but I heard a familiar voice: former Crush Sarah Chalke. I had no idea that this film was a part of her reel. I wonder if she's proud of her role. Anyway, I proceeded to watch the last half hour of the movie solely because of her. And then I was reminded why I HATE Ernest movies.

They are just unbearably stupid. Now, it was a sad day when Jim Varney passed and his Ernest character will always hold a bit of nostalgia for me. After all, his visage graced the mini milk cartons that we were served every day in elementary school. But these movies are lame, even by kid standards. I saw the very first one - Ernest Goes to Camp - when it was released in the theaters in 1987. Even my 12 year old self realized how dumb the movie was, although I'm sure I was well out of the target market at that age. How could these movies turn a profit, thus ensuring sequel after sequel? Who are the people that keep going back to the "Hey, Vern" well again and again? I probably don't want to know the answer. Let's just thank our lucky stars that we were spared such possible titles as Ernest Bursts the Dot Com Bubble or Ernest Goes to Gitmo.


jasdye said...

there's still a soft-spot in my thirty-year old heart for Ernest and his movies (Ernest Goes to the Ghetto, anyone?). But what the heck were they doing on Bravo? Standards are lowered everywhere.

letti said...

man, i remember watching his weekly show back in malaysia.."hey vern, it's ernest" and i used to crack up over the sci-fi bit with the hand over the head, it doesn't take much to entertain me...LOL

Micah said...

kristine - Cool! Thanks.

jasdye - It was on Encore. (I don't think Ernest is homosexual enough to be on Bravo)

letti - I used to watch it, too! For some reason, I thought that the guy who made sounds with his hand to his mouth was hilarious. Ah, youth.

Kate The Great said...

True story: Jim Varney (Ernest) is from KY. He apparently had an affair with a woman who was married to an always-out-of-town pilot. That affair happened at a house in Lexington that I happened to move into probably 15 years afterwards. Weird to think that Jim Varney and I probably slept in the same room. Doing vastly different things, no doubt.

jasdye said...


"Ernest Going to Get It in the End"?