This morning I turned on the TV, which was set on Encore (from last night's viewing of Lost in Translation). And what was playing when I turned it on? The cinematic classic Ernest Goes to School. Now normally when something like this would happen, I couldn't change the channel fast enough - but I heard a familiar voice: former Crush Sarah Chalke. I had no idea that this film was a part of her reel. I wonder if she's proud of her role. Anyway, I proceeded to watch the last half hour of the movie solely because of her. And then I was reminded why I HATE Ernest movies.
They are just unbearably stupid. Now, it was a sad day when Jim Varney passed and his Ernest character will always hold a bit of nostalgia for me. After all, his visage graced the mini milk cartons that we were served every day in elementary school. But these movies are lame, even by kid standards. I saw the very first one - Ernest Goes to Camp - when it was released in the theaters in 1987. Even my 12 year old self realized how dumb the movie was, although I'm sure I was well out of the target market at that age. How could these movies turn a profit, thus ensuring sequel after sequel? Who are the people that keep going back to the "Hey, Vern" well again and again? I probably don't want to know the answer. Let's just thank our lucky stars that we were spared such possible titles as Ernest Bursts the Dot Com Bubble or Ernest Goes to Gitmo.