A Micahpalooza (my 30th birthday celebration with friends old and new) Vegas recap, in an easy to absorb Larry King-esque form:
- THEhotel is one helluva fine place to stay.
- My favorite quote that I can remember: After seeing people clap at the conclusion of the fountain show at the Bellagio, Dubin says, "It's water - you don't have to applaud...you do have to tip, though." Classic.
- Continuous source of amusement: "Mama Mia!"
- As much as I tell myself that I'll "quit when I'm ahead" when gambling, I never do.
- I had one of the oddest conversations that I've ever had with a stripper. She is getting her doctorate in Holocaust Studies at UNLV, spent two weeks researching at the private library at the National Holocaust Museum, and interned in Auschwitz last year. Then we talked about watching the Prime Minister's Q&A on C-SPAN. Not exactly "sexy talk," but very interesting. I'm still not sure if she was legit or had just read a book.
- Vegas is the only town that will have Rob Zombie play a show one night and the next night Rev. Al Green will be singing at the same venue.
- Penn & Teller put on a very entertaining show.
- It's no secret that this town has an extremely high concentration of silicone (not that I'm complaining; I'm not one of those shallow guys that prefers natural to fake. I'm happy as long as they're big). Surely all these women don't live in Vegas. So, why are they all attracted to this city? I'm now accepting grants to conduct a hands-on study of this phenomenon.
- I think that I was the only one in our group that got acclimated to the time zone change.
- Among the presents showered on me: a "Bad Motherfucker" wallet (perfect for walking the Earth), an "I Got Wood" t-shirt (because Shaun of the Dead is my Citizen Kane), a set of bulldog cufflinks, and a gift certificate to Brooks Brothers so I can be the best dressed legal document-scanning wage slave temp ever.
- Pure at Caesar's Palace won't allow you in if you are wearing casual footwear. You've been warned.
- Paul Sorvino and Furio from "The Sopranos" were eating at our hotel's restaurant.
- Something better than an endless supply of crab legs? I think not.
- I finally found a good food that I can't finish in one sitting: the mocha muffin at THEhotel's coffee bar.
- The food at the House of Blues is shit. Never take a dining suggestion from a stripper.
- Based on a newsmagazine story that we watched, I don't think I'll ever feel compelled to visit Louisville, KY.
- I don't think I'll ever get tired of watching Swingers.
- Special thanks to "Julie" at the Spearmint Rhino for helping me pass some time before my flight home.
- I shared a cab to the airport with two strangers - one from Orange County, the other from San Francisco. I was extremely jealous of their short travel times.
- Could USAirways pick two less appealing in-flight movies than Monster-in-Law and A Lot Like Love?
So, that's about it (or at least what I can remember). Much love to everyone that flew out there. I had the best time.
Sorry we didn't get acclimated to the time change. Next time I promise to suck it up. And there WILL be a next time. And I'll bring extra money to tip the fountain at the Bellagio.
No biggie about getting your beauty sleep. I'll let you in on my secret to staying up: crystal meth.
Oh, this will definitely not be the last trip. We haven't even seen the Thunder From Down Under show yet!
Sounds like Micahpalooza went over swimmingly. Ahhh, perhaps next year Spydrz and I will be able to join you lot.
Holocaust Studies? Not to lessen the significance of genocide, but are they just handing out doctorates in anything now? She was either bullshitting you, or that had to be a specific area of focus for her dissertation.
Moving on, please be advised that I am going to steal your new wallet.
So Spearmint Rhino was pretty good, eh? Pray tell, did you take any pictures?
You know my girls and I plan on making it an annual trip, right?
What can I say about the breast thing, Vegas is the one place that I think is just about as distracting and attraction hungry as my ta-tas.
And what's this about Louisville? It's a great place. Not as great as Lexington, but nice enough. Especially on that first saturday in May.
Louisville...where a kid can't make friends because he has a big mole on his face...and his mom's on crack.
THSE - Yeah, all that was missing were you and Spydrz. And some freaky casual sex. But I have no game, so you know that was never going to happen.
Regarding Smart Stripper, I'm thinking that she studied up on the off chance that a dork like me would come in and want to have a conversation of some substance. Hell, I almost bought a dance from her despite her lacking my personal MBR (Minimum Boobage Requirement), but the guys pulled me away to eat.
Sorry, my brother, you'll have to buy your own wallet. SR was nice, although the talent was a bit aggressive (but what do you expect?). I didn't want to get my legs broken, so no pics.
KtG - Just let me know where and when. And Louisville - this newsmagazine piece dealt with two extremely white trash families, so it wasn't exactly put out by the tourist bureau.
Dubin - "Everybody plays the fool..."
...And then I'm stealing the wallet from THSE.
Oh, that sounds like a great trip!!! And you saw FURIO?? I'm so jealous!
Happy Birthday, bud. ;)
Happy Motherf'ing 30th Micah! You officially old, bro. Enjoy the rest of your life.
And Dubin, get it right. Mole Boy had two--count 'em--twofriends. It's the perpetrating of lies like that which make it hard for our melanomatically-afflicted citizenry to make friends.
Now, let us return to the boobie talk. Yay boobies!
Now that Micah's old, he can fund future Las Vegas trips from his Social Security Personal Retirement Account...oh....right. And yes, Captain Backfire, I know the kid had two friends, quite surprising given the size of his mole.
I'll be mole-kid's friend. After all, one day he's gonna have a house the size of half the whole world. Or maybe the equator. Or half the equator.
Goddamit, those were some good times. Let's go back for Labor Day!
Wait. You guys actually LEFT? I was bluffing when I went to the airport.
MOLEY MOLEY MOLEY MOLEY!
panthergirl - Thanks, bud. I never actually saw Furio, but other members of my party did.
I'm actually going back next weekend to pick up lil Joey Jr. (Joe the III?). Ginger and I have joint custody now. Until I get kicked out of my church-provided home, that is. But then Ginger'll get pinched for stealing blood pressure medicine for her "friend", and the judge won't know who to award custody to.
(Seriously, folks. You had to be there.)
Ginger? Was she the stripper with the cocaine habit? Oh, wait - I guess I should narrow that down.
Sounds like you had a great time!!
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