For some reason, I'm watching the Teen Choice Awards, despite that I am pretty far from being a teen and I have zero interest in these awards. I sure hope Are We There Yet? wins.
Gwen Stefani started the show with full marching band in tow. And she had boobs! Either she got some clandestine surgery or she's heavily padded. I wish I had a quartet of Asian hotties follow me around everywhere I went. Maybe I should add that to my birthday list.
Did the producers instruct the audience members to constantly shriek like banshees? I've never understood teenage girls (well, females in general, really), especially this part of their DNA.
Mad props to JCPenny's ad campaign that uses golden age hip-hop songs. I can get with this (and that).
Okay, Paris Hilton just won an award. I can't stomach any more of this. There's our country's future, people.