Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Hump Day News Round-Up

  • Jack Nicklaus (along with Muhammad Ali, Aretha Franklin, and others) recieved the Presidential Medal of Freedom today. Way to go, Golden Bear.
  • You can make your own joke about the man glued to a Home Depot toilet seat (although his case may be in the crapper).
  • Speaking of toilets, there's not much more I can add about the Carolina Panthers cheerleaders who had sex with each other in the can. Just glancing at their mug shots: the blonde's cute; the other, not so much. And it would've been a funnier story if two football players were making sweet, sweet love in the men's room.
  • When suspended football player and multimillionaire Terrell Owens ordered a pizza, delivery man James McDevitt left his $5 tip at the front door because TO "needs to feed his family." Sarcastic comedy is alive and well in Philly.
  • Even though there wasn't a sports championship victory or loss, Islamic youths continue to throw Grey Goose molotov cocktails at LeCars, forcing the socialist cheese-eating surrender monkeys to tighten their grip and surrender harder. "Haw haw haw, Lt. Steve." "Ha ha ha, Frenchy."

11 comments:

Captain Backfire said...

Just wondering aloud, but clearly they had to fit Aretha Franklin for her medal, right? Whaddya suppose her neck is: like 28, 29 inches? I mean, that neck's gonna require a lot of ribbon.

Captain Backfire said...

Oh, and just now saw that you've made it into Round 3. Congrats! This website where your little contest is being held...I've never seen it before. It looks intriguing. I may continue to check it out in the future.

The Dubin said...

In a last-minute addition, President Bush awarded the Medal of Freedom to the lesbian Carolina Panther cheerleaders, because...why not.

Micah said...

CB - Can't believe you went there, son. She's the freakin' Queen of Soul - an IMMENSELY talented woman with a HUGE following.

And that lil' ol' site: you've only been a lurker there for 6 six years. Might as well join and VOTE FOR ME.

dubin - Because they captured the hearts of the nation (except Texas, where they don't care for their kind).

spydrz said...

Love the "Good Morning Vietnam" quote. Hoh hoh hoh.

Captain Backfire said...

After reading that you're starting to get into DMB, I might have to register and vote for you. In December, I will have seen DMB 10 times this year in 4 different states*, and I must say, that revelation made me weep a little bit. Welcome to the party...12 years after the rest of us.


*No, no. It's okay: I'm well aware that I'm a loser. Feel free to openly mock me.

Micah said...

So this is what it sounds like when doves cry. I'm only at the party because I don't listen to him that often. The overexposure killed it for me in college. I've had the Out of the Closet and Flaming CD for a few years now and play it from time to time. So, "just starting" may not be the whole truth. But I'm trying.

You're a loser with a good job, so I shant berate you. Now, if you were really into Phish, that'd be a different story.

Captain Backfire said...

That's it. I'm making you a mix tape. Mostly their best live stuff, with Tim Reynolds, Bela Fleck & The Flecktones, and some of the guys from Soulive. Before you know it, you'll be wearing your pink polo shirt with the collar popped, and a backwards baseball cap.

And you'll also want to date me, cause who isn't a sucker for a mix tape?

Micah said...

*Will this mix tape reveal CB's true feelings for me?*

Captain Backfire said...

"Ask again later"

I mean, "All signs point to yes"

Micah said...

*I think he likes me-likes me!*