Doubtful that you've heard the news but there's a new Star Wars flick being released on Wednesday. To honor it, I've proclaimed this Star Wars Week at Micah World. To kick things off, here's a classic exchange from Clerks:
Randal: What did you like better? Jedi or The Empire Strikes Back?
Dante: Empire had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father, Han gets frozen, taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that's what if is: a series of down endings. All Jedi had was a bunch of Muppets.
Randal: There was something else going on in Jedi. I never noticed it 'til today. They build another Death Star, right?
Randal: The first one was completed and fully operational before the rebels destroyed it.
Dante: Luke blew it up. Give credit where credit's due.
Randal: The second one was still being built when they blew it up.
Dante: Compliments of Lando Calrissian.
Randal: Something just never sat right with me that second time around. I could never put my finger on it. Something just wasn't right.
Dante: And you figured it out.
Randal: The first Death Star was manned by the Imperial Army. The only people on board were Storm Troopers, dignitaries, Imperialists.
Randal: So when they blew it up, no problem. Evil's punished.
Dante: And the second time around?
Randal: The second time around it wasn't even done being built yet. It was still under construction.
Randal: So a construction job of that magnitude would require a hell of a lot more manpower than the Imperial Army had to offer. I'll bet they brought independent contractors in on that thing. Plumbers, aluminum siders, roofers...
Dante: Not just Imperialists. Is that what you're getting at?
Randal: Exactly. In order to get it built quickly and quietly they'd hire anybody that could do the job. Think the average Storm Trooper knows how to install a toilet main? All's they know is killing and white uniforms.
Dante: All right. So they bring in independent contractors. Why are you so upset at its destruction?
Randal: All those innocent contractors brought in to do the job were killed. Casualties of a war they had nothing to do with. All right, look. You're a roofer. Some juicy government contract comes your way. You got a wife and kids, the two-story in suburbia. This is a government contract, which means all sorts of benefits. Along come these left wing militants who blast everything within a three mile radius with their lasers. You didn't ask for that. You had no personal politics. You're just trying to scrape out a living.