Monday, June 13, 2005

I watched this movie so you wouldn't have to

When you read the words "world premiere" and "Sci-Fi Channel" in the same sentence, you know that you're in for a world of hurt. Being on a zombie kick lately, I DVRed the Sci-Fi Channel exclusive movie All Souls' Day this weekend, quality be damned.

"Honey, you got real ugly."

Starring the Frommer's boy from EuroTrip, this movie was painful to watch. It wasn't Manos: The Hands of Fate terrible, but it wasn't good, either. The story was dumb. The script (if there was one) was chock full of wooden dialogue. The direction was pedestrian. The make-up and effects were laughable. And the acting was bad (Chuck Norris bad). In the pantheon of zombie flicks, this ranks pretty low.

The only redeeming quality was this one actress who provided nice eye candy (her 1950s WASPy teen character's name was "Lily White" - har har!). But she didn't get nekkid. Boy, do I sound like Joe Bob Briggs or what?

When discussing this movie with my cousin, he speculated that it couldn't be any worse than Spring Break Shark Attack, but I don't know. That TV movie seemed to have a "this is really cheesy, ain't it?" vibe to it. This one tried to be a straight-up horror film with pitiful results. To learn more about All Souls' Day go here or consult your local library.


SeniorGato said...

Your generally right. Really, you just have to be in the mood to watch good old B movies. It's a lot of fun actually. Where else can you see boom mics and shaky cameras? :) It's fun :)

Micah said...

True. But this movie was baaaaad.

Kate The Great said...

Before you go completely knockin' that Spring Break Shark Attack, I'll have you know we got mad phone calls at the station when we cut in to that movie because of some breaking news. People were -pissed- they didn't get to see the rest of the movie. And we were only trying to effin' inform them. I hate the dumbass viewers.

Micah said...

Well, to be fair, it wasn't like an episode of "CSI" or something, which will eventually get repeated. That was a TV movie! Ain't no repeats there! You heartless bastards!

What was so important to interrupt Spring Break Shark Attack?

jasdye said...

Micah: A real spring break shark attack, of course.

Maybe we'll get lucky and these movies will run in syndication on late night tv (in Chicago it's Son of Svengooli, where they showed Plan 9 a couple months ago) until they are recognized for the true works of genius they are, a la It's a Wonderful Life. Or Citizen Kane. Oh, wait, that never shows on tv.


Kate The Great said...

Who knows. This TV market has a hard on for breaking news, so we look for an opportunity to cut in for just about anything. And yes, we even did a BN cut-in to cover a bit of the Everybody Loves Raymond series finale.

Glad I wasn't on the receiving end of -those- hateful calls.