Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Renee Zellweger is one lucky woman

Isn't country music supposed to be all about family, America, and God (Johnny Cash's hard-drinkin' gangsta-centric stuff, aside)? Tell me what you think about the chorus to Kenny Chesney's "Key Lime Pie":

"Not too tart, not too sweet
My baby loves to watch me eat her (pause) key lime pie"

Heh heh. An ode to his partner's culinary skills or a thinly-veiled boasting of the singer's cunnilingual prowess? You tell me.

Now that I think about it, I could go for some key lime pie, too. (I'm carnally frustrated and I've been South Beachin' it for months...interepret it how you may.)


jasdye said...

so, i'm taking your stabs at country music in stride. i'm thinking you're joking, right. country is about positive things? it's the blues for white-folk, basically.

but if by family, you mean an unhealthy fixation on mama, sure. if by America, you mean some weird flag-wavin' but mostly down-home centered americana (whatever that term means.), sure, i suppose. and if by God you mean, well, God and especially church but also the devil, then yeppers. but don't forget murder. murder's always been a big part of it, johnny cash or no johnny cash.

but then again, that's mostly just what i've read. outside of cash (who shot a man in reno just to watch him die), i never really listened much to the stuff. and now when there's nobodies/notalents like kenny chesney dominating the airwaves while the real talents have to share airtime w/ jessica simpson on a dumb-* tv remake just in order to be heard anymore (willie nelson. farm aid, great american songwriter, played with ray charles. maybe it was the pot. and tax evasion.), blah. forget it all.

i know, i know, easy target. maybe next time i'll pick something that'll piss people off. but i can't think of anything less significant that people actually like than country music.

jasdye said...

and are you suggesting that you wish your toes were being eaten by chesney?

(i'm probably misreading quite a bit, but i think i prefer not to know.)

Kate The Great said...

I was on hiatus from The Beach when I went home to the beach last weekend. My mom had waiting for me one of the best Key Lime Pies I've ever had. Oh, please don't turn this into a dirty joke, that's just wrong.

Anonymous said...

Meh. Most Top 40 country is lame. It's like Top 40 pop music but with a twang or drawl. I don't have to tell you that sucks.

Anyhow, I could care less about Kenny Chesney's tongue-in-vagina lyrics (P.S. am I the only one who immediately thought of The Rock's old pie schtick from WWE RAW/Smackdown?) As for Renee Zellweger? Pfft, my bartender is hotter.

No b*llsh*t.

Micah said...

jasdye - I love the classic stuff. The Power Country that dominates the radio, though, has strayed very far from its roots and I really can't enjoy. Every now and then there'll come along a song or album that I dig (Chesney's latest is essentially a Jimmy Buffett album, so I like it). I have no problem turning on the country music video channel and then muting it...there's always some nice lookin' ladies there.

KtG - You ate your mom's key lime pie? Ewwwww!

heartbreak - Agree with you on all counts. Renee used to be cute, though, until she got sickly skinny. I haven't watched wrasslin' regularly in there a Nation of Domination reunion on the horizon? They were some bad mother-shut yo mouths.

Kate said...

Eating your mom's key lime pie reminds me of that skit from The State where some guys pick on a friend who confessed to eating Grandma's clam chowder. LOL

Micah said...

HA HA HA! Next to "Bologna Sandwich Feet" and the toothbrush one, that is one of my favorite State sketches.

spydrz said...

heartbreak--where's your bartender? I may have to venture nearer to Our Nation's Capital at some point and get an adult beverage there...