Monday, June 13, 2005

Jesus Juice for everybody!

The moon landing. JFK's assassination. 9/11. Now you can also tell your grandchildren where you were when a freakish white woman was cleared of molestation charges.

Me? I was at Anderson's buying a cowboy hat.

14 comments:

this.heartbreak.shall.endure. said...

Dude, Spring Break Shark Attack was totally awesome! Don't be hatin'!

Oh yeah, and Mike may have gotten off on all charges today but he has yet to appear in my court for crimes against the music industry. Case in point; every record he made after Bad (well, I'll give him half of Dangerous but that's it!

panthergirl said...

Clearly, the kin folk were right when they said to Jed Clampett:

"...California's the place you want to be..."

Especially if you want to hack your wife up or sleep with little boys.

KPMD said...

Come on, Latoya is an innocent wo...er...Michael is an innocent man until proven guilty. We all know Jacko has known the mini-love that dare not speak it's name. But, you have to admit the prosecution's case had more holes in it than a french whore.

As for his crimes against music, nature, and all that is good and wholesome in this world - I say guilty on all counts!

spydrz said...

Too bad we can't try him somewhere else. Even Billy Clinton got impeached.

this.heartbreak.shall.endure. said...

KPMD! How's tricks in Filthadelphia? Please tell me you are rocking a phat five finger ring that reads KPMD...that would be so dope! And then when Phil starts doctorin' proper he can accompany you with a banging ass ghetto blaster and a terminator X shades. I will make the occasional cameo appearance for the express purpose of doing an intmidating pop and lock routine, or to act as a hype man. "are ya'll ready for KPMD? I said are ya'll ready for KPMD?! Then I need you to put yo muthaf***in' hands together, cos she's about to get her suture on! Proper!"

Micah said...

heartbreak - Well, look at his fanbase: a couple of chicks in Korea. It is kinda sad that his native country has written him off (musically), but that's because his music sucks nowadays. And Tommy Motolla's a rascist.

panthergirl - It's great to be a celebrity!

KPMD - The case was terrible. I never thought he'd be convicted, so today wasn't a surprise. But the dude's a SuperFreak. (He's super-freaky).

spydrz - I've heard rumors that he may leave the country. Maybe he can be roommates with Roman Polanski.

Kate The Great said...

Rewind. Cowboy hat? What, are you planning on joining Madonna in her next music video?

And I would just like to point out that we can finally set the record straight: Michael, LaToya and Janet all walked in to the courtroom as three separate people. So unless some convincing body doubles were hired, the rumors of them being the same human are wrong.

I don't know that I'll be telling my kids I was laying on my couch in my underwear painting my toenails. I think being caught in traffic sounds more respectable.

panthergirl said...

Micah!!! I got my "Hate" mix today and it's GREAT!!!!

My favorites are "I hate girls, cars and ice cold beer" and that crazy little ditty at the end "I'm a Longhaired Lover from Liverpool". Not sure what that has to do with hate, but it's hilarious!

I was laughing all the way to work.

Micah said...

KtG - Yeah, I got a cowboy hat. I went to Anderson's with my mom and grandma, just to get out of the house. They were buying stuff for our family trip to Hilton Head, including hats. Somehow, I ended up buying a cowboy hat. My self-image is that of Kenny Chesney. My realistic image is that of Hoss from "Bonanza."

panthergirl - Glad you liked it. I found that a good chunk of songs with a hatred theme are on the heavier side, so wasn't sure if you'd dig it. I totally forgot one song (I'll e-mail it to you). As for the Jimmy Osmond song - there's definitely a subtle undercurrent of hatred in his voice. That and I hate child stars. Voila! Hatred.

KPMD said...

Hey heartbeak - I am kickin' it TV fab here in the 215. Unfortunately, my five finger KPMD ring is on backorder. But, my ghettoblaster is at full effect - I just can't cut people without some good cuttin' music. How's NoVA treating you? You'll have to come up and see us when Phil is back in town, we have a Target now - so no more Walmart jeans (aaah, memories).

jasdye said...

t.h.s.e.,

don't forget his crimes against music videos. case in point, every video after Thriller, of which Bad is the paramount, or the nadir, however you decided to look at it.

Since I refuse to read any flippin' press reviews about the acquital, if someone will tell me at what time (Central, if possible, of course) the verdict came, I could answer the original question. I think, however, that I was substitute teaching a class of one-to-three students (Chicago Public Schools get out WAY too late).

Micah said...

"You ain't bad! You ain't bad!" Ah, the high point of Wesley Snipes' career.

As for the time of the verdict announcement, it was shortly before this post.

jasdye said...

about 4 Central? then i definitely was doing something boring. ironing or somethin'. maybe taking a long-delayed shower.

not liking the connection here.

did anybody catch conan's interview? jacko said he isn't interested in his music career anymore because it's over 13 years old. it's growing hair.

illllllllllll...

Micah said...

That's pretty funny.