Thursday, February 09, 2006

The art of spam

The other day I received the following spam in my MySpace page (Need a friend? Add me!). The way the prose flows from your lips - it's just beautiful:

"Hi my new friend! I liked yours profile. I shall be very glad with you to correspond and learn you closer. I think that between us interesting correspondence and further and friendship can begin. Give I I shall tell about myself a little. My name is Oksana. To me of 27 years and I am still lonely. I search serious relations and responsibly I concern to correspondence. I am afraid to be deceived and I promise you the honesty and sincerity. I search for the person with which it was possible to create good and strong family in which there would be a harmony and understanding. I very friendly and sociable girl, I kind and sympathetic. I work in veterinary clinic for animals and very much I love the work, the patients of animals, to me it seems all of them such to charm. I like to learn all new, sometimes I study independently some sciences and consequently I like to read books of various genres, I like to meet friends and cheerfully to spend time but it it happens seldom because all of us are borrowed occupied on work and consequently I very much miss and I feel lonely in this world. I want to learn you more in each letter and I with impatience shall wait for your letter. You can write to me the letter on my address (withheld)"

It's poetry! Apparently, this spam is targeted to the lonely and the stupid. Fool me five times, shame on me...

7 comments:

The Law Fairy said...

I dunno Micah -- she very friendly and sociable girl, and she did promise you the honesty and sincerity. Maybe she's the one!

THSE said...

yeah, I've gotten those a couple times as well. funny, innit?

Micah said...

law fairy - It real shame because I'm what for looking the honesty and sincerity.

THSE - Really, what's the point of these spams? I just don't know what they are selling.

Kate The Great said...

The part it doesn't say:

I very much would like for you pay to have me fly where you are. I looking for long time love of two years for marriage and green card. In the United States I will give you hard work and foods of my native homeland. These are gifts that may to please you so I can have American babies. Then honest relationship may follow and you to may share credit cards and checking account so to I go shopping on your dime. I promise to make exercise and use American work-out gym with treadmills and freeweights to keep my babushka in a way you like, and I will also have free sex with my trainer Omar. Then after citizenship to go through proper channels I will make away with Omar and leave you to with bratty kids.

jasdye said...

how about,

'Me love you long time?'

Captain Backfire said...

I think she'd be yours forever if you just wired $5,000,000 USD to her Nigerian bank account. Don't know if you're aware, but due to recent political troubles, she needs help freeing her assets. If you help her, she'll send you back $50,000,000 USD. And herbal Viagra.

Micah said...

KtG - See, this spam just wouldn't work because I plan on going to a reputable mail order bride agency when the time comes. They have safeguards to insure that that type of thing doesn't happen...for at least six months.

jasdye - I give you every-ting. You got girlfriend Vietnam?

CB - Throw in a high school diploma and a low mortgage rate, and she's got a deal.