Requiem for Shady Pines' most famous non-resident

R.I.P. Estelle Getty, 1923-2008.



Thank you for being a friend.

Quick movie reviews

The Dark Knight: Most times I view hype as suspect, but this film is worthy of the praise (and huge box office). Crafting a dark, smart, and epic movie, Christopher Nolan has evolved from Batman Begins - the guy can finally shoot an action scene where you can tell what's going on (gone are the extremely tight close-ups and shaky camerawork)! This is largely an ensemble piece and Batman/Bruce Wayne is just another player, which works to the movie's credit given the abundance great performances that we get. Obligatory Heath Ledger praise: yeah, he really gets lost in the role of the Joker and comes across as truly unhinged. I don't know if anyone else has made the connection, but Gotham's mayor is played by Nestor Carbonell, who previously played the role of Batmanuel in the lamentably dead-too-soon live action version of "The Tick". Hilarious! Out of all the very good comic book adaptions to come out this year, this take the top honors.

Batman: Gotham Knight*: I'm usually no fan of anime, but I dug this. I guess I just need Western source material to enjoy this medium (see also The Animatrix). It started out a bit slow and some installments are better than others, but still I found it entertaining overall.

*Yes, this is not a movie per se, but it is related to The Dark Knight as it takes place within director Christopher Nolan's Batman universe.

Song to get you through the weekend: "Where's Your Head At" by Basement Jaxx

Freaky monkeys with human faces + an English Patton Oswalt-looking bloke + a killer groove = one twisted video

This pretty much makes up for her terrible album

I forgive you, Scarlett.

Crush of the Week: Domenica Davis

This week's Crush is Fox News Channel meteorologist Domenica Davis. I first saw her over the weekend, talking about tropical storms and or something. Honestly, I was too smitten to follow what she was saying.



Bonus picture:



I'm not sure how accurate her forecasts are, but I do find her super cute.

My favorite movies for every year of my life

Similar to yesterday's post about my favorite albums, I thought that I'd take another cue from the internets and compile a list of my favorite movies for each year that I've been alive. To aid in my selection, I consulted Wikipedia's lists of years in film, which I found out was less than complete (it didn't list Fletch!). So, I may have overlooked a film or two.

1975: Jaws
1976: Rocky
1977: Star Wars
1978: Dawn of the Dead
1979: The Jerk
1980: Caddyshack
1981: Raiders of the Lost Ark
1982: Pink Floyd: The Wall
1983: National Lampoon's Vacation
1984: This Is Spinal Tap
1985: Fletch
1986: Ferris Bueller's Day Off
1987: The Princess Bride
1988: Die Hard
1989: When Harry Met Sally...
1990: Goodfellas
1991: Terminator 2: Judgment Day
1992: Scent of a Woman
1993: Groundhog Day
1994: Pulp Fiction
1995: Braveheart
1996: Swingers
1997: Chasing Amy
1998: Rushmore
1999: Fight Club
2000: High Fidelity
2001: Ocean's Eleven
2002: The Bourne Identity
2003: Big Fish
2004: Shaun of the Dead
2005: Walk the Line
2006: Thank You For Smoking
2007: Hot Fuzz
2008: Iron Man

What have we learned? For the most part, I'm a populist and a comedy geek. Big shock.

My favorite albums for every year of my life

There's an internet thingy making the rounds where you list your favorite album released in each year of your life. Sounds simple, doesn't it? No, it is agonizing. As you can see below, I had to make some tough calls*. But I did the best I could (ask me to do this again in a week from now and you'll likely get an almost entirely different list).

1975: Pink Floyd, Wish You Were Here
1976: Boston, Boston
1977: Elvis Costello, My Aim Is True
1978: Elvis Costello and the Attractions, This Year's Model
1979: The Clash, London Calling
1980: AC/DC, Back In Black
1981: The Police, Ghost in the Machine
1982: Michael Jackson, Thriller

This year was the first toughie for me, with Yaz's Upstairs at Eric's, Def Leppard's Pyromania, and Listen by A Flock of Seagulls. Femmes for the win. Due to the many strong albums from here on out, I provide a runner up for every year.

1983: Violent Femmes, Violent Femmes (runner up: The Police, Synchronicity)
1984: Prince, Purple Rain (runner up: Van Halen, 1984)
1985: The Dead Milkmen, Big Lizard in my Backyard (runner up: LL Cool J, Radio)

Okay, 1986 is the next big year full of classics: Graceland, So, Life's Rich Pageant, Skylarking, Candy Apple Grey. Yikes!

1986: The Smiths, The Queen Is Dead (runner up: Run-DMC, Raising Hell)
1987: The Cure, Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me (runner up: the Replacements, Pleased to Meet Me)
1988: Public Enemy, It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back (runner up: R.E.M., Green)
1989: The Stone Roses, The Stone Roses (runner up: The Cure, Disintegration)
1990: Depeche Mode, Violator (runner up: The Sundays, Reading, Writing And Arithmetic)
1991: Matthew Sweet, Girlfriend (runner up: A Tribe Called Quest, The Low End Theory)
1992: Basehead, Play With Toys (runner up: The Beastie Boys, Check Your Head)
1993: A Tribe Called Quest, Midnight Marauders (runner up: Depeche Mode, Songs of Faith and Devotion)
1994: Johnny Cash, American Recordings (runner up: Nine Inch Nails, The Downward Spiral)
1995: Pulp, Different Class (runner up: Ben Folds Five, Ben Folds Five)
1996: Weezer, Pinkerton (runner up: Fountains of Wayne, Fountains of Wayne)
1997: Buena Vista Social Club, Buena Vista Social Club (runner up: Wyclef Jean, The Carnival)
1998: Pulp, This Is Hardcore (runner up: Steve Poltz, One Left Shoe)
1999: The Roots, Things Fall Apart (runner up: Ben & Jason, Emoticons)
2000: Flogging Molly, Swagger (runner up: Jack Johnson, Brushfire Fairytales)
2001: Ben Folds, Rockin' the Suburbs (runner up: Jude, King of Yesterday)
2002: Eminem, The Eminem Show (runner up: Mary Prankster, Tell Your Friends)

And now we come to the last year of very hard choices: Elvis Costello's North, Steve Poltz's Chinese Vacation, The Postal Service's Give Up, Snow Patrol's Final Straw, and Pigeon John's Is Dating Your Sister were all contenders. I had to go with a recent discovery of Clem Snide, though.

2003: Clem Snide, Soft Spot (runner up: Fountains of Wayne, Welcome Interstate Managers)
2004: John Wesley Harding, Adam's Apple (runner up: Say Anything, ...Is a Real Boy)
2005: Anya Marina, Miss Halfway (runner up: Clem Snide, End of Love)
2006: Amy Winehouse, Back to Black (runner up: Jarvis Cocker, Jarvis)
2007: The National, Boxer (runner up: Lily Allen, Alright, Still)
2008: Vampire Weekend, Vampire Weekend (runner up: Neon Neon, Stainless Style)

So, what's your list?

*I have omitted compilations from contention. Sorry, Bob Marley and Squeeze.

Quick movie reviews

Hellboy II: The Golden Army: On simply an aesthetic basis, I feel that Hellboy is the most successful comic book character to make the jump from page to screen. Ron Perlman's take on the gruff demon is once again pitch perfect and director Guillermo del Toro provides a visual feast where everything is ratcheted up from the pretty damned good 2004 film: the humor, love story, weird creatures, and CGI are all much stronger. I had a great time watching this yesterday, especially one particular scene involving Hellboy, Abe, beer, and Barry Manilow's "Can't Smile Without You." Go see it.

Across the Universe: While I was predestined to hate this movie - it involves hippies and an enroachment on the Beatles canon, after all - there were some good parts (notably, the "I Want To Hold Your Hand" sequence in the beginning). But this was way too long with too many disposable storylines and characters. An example would be Prudence, who I suspect was put into the movie just so "Dear Prudence" could be shoehorned in, suddenly disappears midway through the movie. Hello goodbye.

Song to get you through the weekend: "Seven Cities" by Solar Stone

Remember 2000? Back then I lived in NoVA, had an unspectacular steady job, and proclaimed to be a DJ - it was much more of a bedroom hobby than a paying gig, really - and one of my favorite songs at the time was "Seven Cities" by Solar Stone. I primarily spun hip-hop, drum 'n' bass, and Big Beat (why must subgenres have to die?), but I found this pop trance song irresistible. Sure it follows the standard formula for this radio/club-friendly type of music: a pulsating, relentless techno beat that leads to a quiet, syrupy melodic breakdown, only to build to a glorious climax*. But it does so expertly.

I had first heard "Seven Cities" on a Paul Oakenfold/Fatboy Slim mix CD and bought the vinyl single right away. It's funny that until today when I found this video and watched it for the first time, I never knew that this song had vocals. I only was familiar with the instrumental remixes. While I believe that the lyrics obscure the simple beauty of the music, I figured it was best to post the original video rather than a boring fan vid (do check out that superior mix, though, if you have six minutes to kill).

Today, my turntables are in storage and my many crates of records are gathering dust, but I still love this song.

*Kind of like a date with me, now that I think about it.

Requiem for an entertaining government employee

R.I.P. Tony Snow, 1955-2008.



So far, this is shaping up to be an unkind year for non-abrasive, "nice guy" political TV pundits.

Do you know why today is so special?

Today is 7-11! Free Slurpees for all!!!



This has been a public service announcement for members of the Micah World community.

Clearly, I'm trying to tackle a leprechaun infestation.

Or I just need a shoe rack.

Protecting my cube since 2008

I think that I've remarked that, should the situation arise, I could clear my cubicle of my personal belongings in less than 30 seconds. The only things that I've spruced up my cube with are a couple of calendars ("The Office" for the wall, "Monty Python" for the desk), a Squishee cup, a Black & Blue Classic (the annual UR/VCU basketball game) promotional mug, and a stack of magazines. The latter I will leave for the next person who occupies this space, as they've all been thoroughly read and, uh, "flagged."

And, thanks to MW commenter SBN1/THSE/Simply Reg for the awareness of its existence, I have one more item in my workspace: Captain America Mighty Muggs (or is the singular "Mighty Mugg"?). SBN1 remarked that, when the time comes for me to quit or be fired, I would create a victorious image by having Captain America sit atop my small box of personal effects. I agree.

Most people my age are acquiring mortgages and children; I've got Captain America.

This is what it's all about.

Yep, it was a good week.

Grunt! Belch! Fart! 'Twas Man Night.

If there's one meal that I look forward to every year, it's the one that's served on Man Night. During that magical night, the ladies go off to dinner and a play, leaving the menfolk alone for a few hours. Uncle Chuck prepares a feast: 1.5" thick steaks, grilled potatoes, wedge salad, and grilled Texas toast. As usual, this year it was pure, manly, artery-clogging heaven.

Afterwards under the stars, we broke out cigars and pipes and rambled off our "best artists/albums/songs" in a variety of musical categories while classic rock radio filled the air.

It really doesn't get any better than that. Well, maybe if there was a hot chick on my lap. But then it wouldn't be Man Night, now would it?

America! Feck yeah!

Happy Independence Day!

(My shirt, if you can't tell.)

With your feet in the air and your head on the ground...

Where is my mind?

Fun fact: my Aunt and Uncle's house here is right next door to one belonging to author John Jakes (the North and South trilogy, Hollywood Wives).

Fear and loathing in Hilton Head

"What am I going to do with all of this paella?!"

Books finished: 1
Landsharks drank: 3
Naps taken: 3
TV watched: extremely little
Hotties spotted: none
Percentage of consumed food that was prepared on the grill: 70

Beach blanket travel bingo

Well, folks, I'm off to Hilton Head. I'm not sure if I'll have an internet connection down there, though. If I do, you'll get sporadic updates. If I don't, see you in a week or so.

Micah out.

My Summer Muxtape 2008

Just for you guys, I've selected the perfect songs to get you through this summer. Without further ado, I present Micah's Summer Mix 2008:

1. "All Green" - Clem Snide
2. "Tired of Being Alone" - Al Green
3. "Lips Are Unhappy" - Lucky Soul
4. "That's Not My Name" - The Ting Tings
5. "Fly Paper" - k-os
6. "Konichiwa Bitches" - Robyn
7. "Chewing Gun" - Annie
8. "Shameless" - The Fratellis
9. "It Had To Be You" - Motion City Soundtrack
10. "Down South, Ten Hours, I-5" - All Girl Summer Fun Band
11. "Fort Hood" - Mike Doughty
12. "Wedding Day" - Rosie Thomas

Since Muxtape caps the amount of songs you can add at 12, the select few who get the CD version will also receive the following songs:

"Breakin' Up" - Rilo Kiley
"You! Me! Dancing!" - Los Campesinos!
"Man-Sized Wreath" - R.E.M.
"Alone in the World" - Everybody Else
"Retreat from the Sun" - That Dog
"Island in the Sun" - Weezer
"Ur So Gay" - Katy Perry
"The Most Beautiful Girl (In the Room)" - Flight of the Conchords

Note: As with the last Muxtape, I keep getting errors when I try to change its color, so just pretend it is a light green.

Bonus Crush of the Week: Misti Traya

This week's Bonus Crush is actress Misti Traya.



The only thing I've seen her in is "VH1's I Love the New Millennium", which wrapped up last night. Both her and the weeklong special were enjoyable (for different reasons).

srah's got major walkitude

Astute MW readers will recall that a month ago I entered a walking competition with blog pal srah. Under the terms of the throwdown, the competitor who had the lowest daily step count average over the 32 day period must compose a Blog Post of Shame. Well, the results are in and I must proclaim:

srah is the Queen of All Steppage.

Yes, I lost. Big. We're talking 10,195 to 6,112. Now, I could blame it on many things: the successive crushing 100+ degree days, her attendance at a DC conference, the job that has me chained to a cube, and, uh, the rain. But, really, it all comes down to the fact that she has been and always will be a hotstepper (and a lyrical gangster, to boot).

So, congratulations, srah. You've made wormsmeat of me.

But this ain't over.

Crush of the Week: Anne Hathaway

This week's Crush is actress Anne Hathaway, lately of the Get Smart big screen adaption.



Now, I've never actually seen any of her work, but she's awfully cute.

My HR mugshot

THRILL to the site of my doughy face barely covered up by a now-gone winterbeard! MARVEL at my every-day-is-Casual-Friday Scottish National Team rugby shirt! WONDER at what type of workplace environment could cause such a soulless, dead stare!

Hey, kids: You may think that you'll be done with terrible yearbook photos once you're out of high school, but you're wrong.

Another way to spend my summer!

I just remembered that a few months ago I downloaded all of the shorts that comedy supergroup (to me, at least) Stella made. The above one, sort of a music video for Chicago's "Saturday in the Park," cracks me up. Because star wipes and a random dude dancing in just cuffs and tighty-whities are HILARIOUS.

For the longest time, whenever I heard "Saturday in the Park", I would think of Seurat's A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte. No more. Now I will forever associate this video with the song.

As far as t-shirt statements go, it's better than anything involving Che Guevara

Last week Jessica Simpson caught some heat from PETA for her "Real Girls Eat Meat" shirt. Apparently, the shirt was a dig at former Tony Romo girlfriend and the animal-killing organization's two-time "Vegetarian of the Year" Carrie Underwood. Advantage: Simpson (on a couple of levels, depending on how you interpret the shirt).

Ladies, let's leave the militant vegetarians out of this. Clearly, there's only way to solve your dispute: nude Jell-O wrestling. That way everybody wins. Especially us.

Gogol Bordello @ Toad's Place

Last night I went to the Gogol Bordello show at Toad's Place. Anaheim's Dusty Rhodes and the River Band opened up the show with the appropriate amount of energy. The lead singer (Dusty Rhodes? Lucky Day? Ned Nederlander?) looked like a young Jeff Lynne sans the sunglasses. I particularly liked their cover of the Band's "The Weight." Also, the violinist/mandolin player is pretty cute.

Gogol Bordello took the stage at around 10:15 with a manic fury. I swear, they replace Flogging Molly as the most energetic band that I've seen live. If this Gypsy punk band doesn't alter their Raisin Bran to have two scoops of amphetamines, I'd be surprised. They simply didn't stop except briefly at about an hour in, when bandleader Eugene Hütz finally addressed the crowd...by referring to us as Charlottesville. Is it any wonder why the humor of This Is Spinal Tap endures to this day?

After some brief banter, they jumped back into the music. While they are great at what they do, honestly each song sounded pretty much alike. There wasn't much variety at all. Plus, I have never heard a band draw out and milk the endings of their songs so much in one show. That's a fine thing to do a few times, usually at the very end of one's set. But almost every song was like The Return of the King. Just when you thought it was over, it would keep going, then stop, then continue, then dissolve into a super jam.

Despite my above criticisms, I had a great time. If Gogol Bordello rolls into your town, definitely go see them. They certainly give you quite the bang for your buck (a SIX SONG encore!).

An aside: a game that my brother and I like to play when we go to concerts is "What Celebrity Does This Person Look Like?" In attendance last night: Fred Durst, Rivers Cuomo/Hipster Daniel Plainview, and Vaguely Asian Young Morrissey. It's a fun game. Try it.

Bonus Crush of the Week: Débora Nascimento

This week's Bonus Crush is actress Débora Nascimento, who had a bit part in The Incredible Hulk. Even "uglied up" as a factory worker, she was striking.



Here's hoping Marvel puts out a DVD of Edward Norton's 3 hour cut of the movie (and she's in it more prominently).

Requiem for a special effects master

R.I.P. Stan Winston, 1946-2008.



This son of Richmond had one heck of an impressive resume. He'll be missed.

Crush of the Week: Liv Tyler

This week's Crush is actress Liv Tyler, most recently of The Incredible Hulk.



It's amazing that someone who looks like Steven Tyler produced someone who looks like Liv. That's the power of RAWK!

Quick movie reviews

The Incredible Hulk: HULK FUN MOVIE! MICAH HAVE SMASHING GOOD TIME! EDWARD NORTON DO GOOD JOB! BETTER MOVIE THAN ANG LEE VERSION! IRON MAN STILL BEST COMIC BOOK MOVIE OF SUMMER, THUS FAR! TONY STARK CAMEO COOL! MARVEL SMART TO MIX CHARACTERS IN MOVIES!

Reign Over Me: In a dramatic turn as a 9/11 widower, Adam Sandler actually choked me up. Are we living in some bizarro world? I know it shares a title with a Who song, but they should've called it Reign O'er Me, simply because, outside of Christmas carols, "o'er" doesn't get much use anymore.

Thank you, Drunky!

Requiem for DC's biggest Bills fan

R.I.P. Tim Russert, 1950-2008.



Despite his political background and regardless of their party affiliation, he was always fair in how he questioned his guests. Under his control, "Meet the Press" was the rare class act in a sea of talking head programs where the guests compete to see who can shout the loudest over each other.

An aside: SBN1/THSE called it ("car accident or heart attack") when he first heard the news. He can also start fires with his mind.

My beach reading list has been finalized

Super villains! Master chefs! Seaborne zombies! Elderly Cuban fishermen! Brokenhearted scribes! Gay humorists! Oh my!

Soon I Will Be Invincible by Austin Grossman This'll be first book that I read. My inner geekdom will be stoked as I read about the politics and squabbles of a super villain and a new member of a superhero team.

Heat: An Amateur's Adventures as Kitchen Slave, Line Cook, Pasta-Maker, and Apprentice to a Dante-Quoting Butcher in Tuscany by Bill Buford Anthony Bourdain gave this book high marks, so that's good enough for me.

Dead Sea by Brian Keene The zombies in this book are the traditional kind, rather than the demoniacally-charged ones from his previous two undead books. It's been a while since I've read a good zombie book and I'm looking forward to this one.

The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway I've owned this book for 15 years now and have yet to read it. For as much as I claim Papa as my favorite author, I'm pretty ashamed. I shall remedy this situation shortly.

Things I've Learned from Women Who've Dumped Me edited by Ben Karlin This is an essay collection by some of the comedy nerd greats: Colbert, Odenkirk, Richter, Oswalt, Wain, and Hornby, among others. Will it live up to how much I've hyped this up in my head? We'll see.

When You Are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris Honestly, I started this last night and will likely knock it out well before I set foot on the sand. I just couldn't wait, plus it's a hardcover (beach reads MUST be paperback).

Things are going to start happening to me now (part IV)

Another day, another podcast mention. Okay, not quite. But I did make the Listener Hall of Fame for the Bored-Again Christian podcast ("Christian music for people tired of Christian music"). How did I reach such a lofty status, you ask? I e-mailed my picture to Just Pete, the guy behind the show.

When I Twittered Just Pete, suggesting that he start a BAC internet dating site, he replied, "I see it now: 'Smarmy, southern woman wanted for packing my pipe and long conversations peppered with trite niceties by the fire.'" Yeah, that pretty much sums it up, except he left out her being independently wealthy and possessing huge...tracts of land*.

As for the picture, it is nothing new to avid readers of this blog (or my Facebook and MySpace friends, as it is my profile pic), but it's one of the better ones of me, IMO.

Go listen to his podcast. It's chock full of good music and there's always one or three gems in each episode. Those seeking Petra or Carmen should look elsewhere, though.

*Hey, potential girlfriends: Put your time in and I will buy you this shirt.

Micah World Top 25

Here they are, the top 25 songs burning up my iPod (as of 6.11.08):

1. "All Green" - Clem Snide
2. "Time to Pretend" - MGMT
3. "Dream Girls" - Neon Neon
4. "Open Doors" - Josh Ritter
5. "Once Again" - Steve Poltz
6. "California Girls" - The Magnetic Fields
7. "Konichiwa Bitches" - Robyn
8. "Chewing Gum" - Annie
9. "Everybody Knows You Cried Last Night" - The Fratellis
10. "Brainy" - The National
11. "Rains" - Steve Poltz
12. "Serve Me My Food" - Steve Poltz
13. "(Nothing But) Flowers" - Talking Heads
14. "Song Without a Chorus" - Butch Walker
15. "The Taste of Red" - Butch Walker
16. "Forever, Now and Then" - Clem Snide
17. "Tuesday, October 24th" - Clem Snide
18. "Close the Door" - Clem Snide
19. "Action" - Clem Snide
20. "Find Love" - Clem Snide
21. "There Is Nothing" - Clem Snide
22. "Strong Enough" - Clem Snide
23. "Happy Birthday" - Clem Snide
24. "Fontanelle" - Clem Snide
25. "Every Moment" - Clem Snide

This is pretty different from the last chart. Take a wild guess which album I've been listening to a lot lately.

Crush of the Week: Meghan McCain

This week's Crush is presidential candidate spawn Meghan McCain, who runs a campaign blog for her dad.



I won't necessarily vote for John McCain (Bob Barr in '08...unless Virginia's in play), but should he win, I welcome plenty of media exposure of the First Daughter.

Requisites: Summertime Miscellany

All things must come to an end and so, while I enjoy my Sunday morning cup of coffee and watch an episode of "Stella", I shall finish my Summertime Requisites with a compilation of things that can't be filed under the previous categories. These are the final pieces of the summer survival puzzle.



Bullfrog Sunblock I've had some pretty bad sunburns in the past, mostly because of sunblock defiance. See, I hate, hate, hate sunblock, but it a necessity for me if I intend to spend more than 5 minutes outdoors. And Bullfrog gel is worth the premium pricing. It's not greasy at all and, shortly after initially spraying it on, you forget you're even wearing it.



Corn The Indians called it maize. Boiled, grilled, fried, popped - I call it the best summertime food ever.



Reef flip-flops Picture it: St. Maarten, 2004. I'm down there getting my groove back and suddenly I realize that I don't have appropriate beach footwear. Surprisingly, the stores down there provided few options, so I splurged on a pair of Reefs. They were so comfortable that I haven't looked back since. I'm currently shopping for this summer's pair and found a style that I like (see picture). Unfortunately, the color that I've become smitten with - "tobacco" - has been discontinued. Damn anti-smoking zealots.



Bocce set Forget horse racing and that loser Big Brown. This is truly the sport of kings. Laid-back, lazy kings.



Fudgesicles Ain't nothin' wrong with that.



Kelsyus beach chair and canopy Sure, it looks kind of dorky, but I credit this chair - in conjunction with the Bullfrog gel - with my not developing melanoma within the last few years.



Hulu Okay, this should've been filed under Summertime TV, but I plumb forgot about it. Free streaming episodes of "NewsRadio," "The Office," "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia," "30 Rock," "The Simpsons," "Arrested Development," and much more - including movies ("The Jerk"!) - provide an embarrassment of riches. Awesome.



Baseball Our fine city's minor league team is abandoning us at the end of the season, but at least we still have the Petersburg Generals.



Fireworks "Stand back while I celebrate freedom!"



Cheap Sunglasses Heed ZZ Top's advice. Why pay good money for a pair that you'll just either lose or break? But I beg that you don't wear those oversize ones. Chances are, you don't live in Del Boca Vista, so don't try to look like you do.

Requisites: Summertime Booze

If you need any excuse to drink, the exhausting heat of summertime is as good as any. And nothing compliments sunstroke and dehydration like hooch. The following are some of my favorites to turn to when the temperature rises. Not all of them require a tiny parasol, but it helps.

Caipirinha This Brazilian libation is my favorite summertime drink. It may be a bit hard to find - especially when it is made with a sugar cane stalk like it is supposed to be - but it is worth it when you do. Luckily, cachaça (a rum-like alcohol used in this drink) isn't too hard to locate, so it can easily be made at home.

Mojito It's like Orbit Mint Mojitio gum, but in liquid form. And with booze.

Captain Morgan & Ginger Ale: I prefer to use diet ginger ale in this concotion. For some reason, when you mix these two disparate ingredients, it tastes vaguely cream soda-ish. Strange, but refreshing.

Mali-Dew: I invented this cocktail in college. Basically, it's equal parts Mountain Dew and Malibu rum. I haven't had one of these in years, but I think this is the summer to bring it back.

Red Stripe: Hooray beer! This is probably tied with Leinenkugel Sunset Wheat as my favorite beer. I think a man workin' outdoors feels more like a man if he can have a bottle of suds. Specifically, these two.

Redstone Vanilla Beans and Cinnamon Sticks Mountain Honey Wine You want something nice and sweet for after a fine meal? Turn to mead. It's the future. Be ahead of the curve.

Requisites: Summertime Books

To Have and Have Not by Ernest Hemingway This is the story of a fisherman who has to turn to smuggling just to make ends meet. I think that this summer I'll rediscover my favorite bipolar, suicidal, alcoholic writer (no, not Judy Blume).

Don't Stop the Carnival by Herman Wouk It's kind of like a Caribbean-set "Fawlty Towers" (and it's been turned into a musical by Jimmy Buffett!). Funny stuff.

Parliament of Whores by P.J. O'Rourke It is an election year, so why not bone up on how the federal government really works?

The Rising by Brian Keene Zombie goodness.

A Cook's Tour: Global Adventures in Extreme Cuisines by Anthony Bourdain The beach is hot; so is a kitchen. But only one gives you food (odd and sometimes disgusting as it may be).

When You Are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris This just came out and my copy is on its way, so I can't pass judgment on it just yet. But I have yet to read a Sedaris book or magazine/radio piece that I didn't like.

My Custom Van: And 50 Other Mind-Blowing Essays that Will Blow Your Mind All Over Your Face by Michael Ian Black I saw him read a few of these essays at a show he did here in Richmond earlier in the year and they were pretty funny. I'm really looking forward to getting this. Side note: I bought a copy of State by State with the State when it came out and now I see that it is fetching between $70-$122 on Amazon Marketplace. Keep the book, dump it now, or hang onto it in hopes that it'll fund my retirement?

Audiobooks

Sometimes you just don't want to put forth the effort to read. I can get the same way. When you are feeling like that, here a couple of audiobooks for when you are stuck in your car or the Metro or are just plain ol' lazy:

World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War by Max Brooks The interview format of the book translates really well to the audiobook format. Plus it's got a good cast (Carl Reiner, Rob Reiner, Henry Rollins, John Turturro, Mark Hamill, Jürgen Prochnow, Alan Alda, etc.)

Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris His books are great, but I think he shines on his audiobooks because you can hear what words he emphasizes and inflects, not to mention the funny character voices and his hilarious Billie Holiday impersonation.

Requisites: Summertime Movies

Movies are a great way to beat the heat if you want to get out yet stay in a climate-controlled atmosphere. I remember being in Puerto Rico one summer and, since the house we stayed at didn't have AC, we'd go out to the supermarket or movies to keep cool (there's nothing like watching Crimson Tide with Spanish subtitles). So, if you want to check out what's happening in theaters this summer, I'll steer you towards my Summer Movie Checklist. I'll just add that, of the films yet to be released on that list, I'm probably most psyched about The Incredible Hulk, with Step Brothers a close second. Wanna make something of it? You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

But, through the miracle of DVD, you can beat the heat and revel in it at the same time.

Die Hard, Die Hard with a Vengeance, Live Free or Die Hard With the exception of the snowy Christmas in DC of Die Harder, this is one sweaty, dirty action series. John McClain gets all grimy so you don't have to.

Wet Hot American Summer I don't think anyone was clamoring for a parody of early 80s summer camp movies, but this is spot-on. "You taste like a burger. I don't like you anymore."

Donovan's Reef John Wayne. Lee Marvin. Tropical setting. Need I say more?

Jaws For better or worse, this ushered in the summer blockbuster season as we know it. Even with a phony-baloney mechanical shark, this film is nothing short of brilliant.

South Pacific I'm not big on musicals, but I have a thing for this one, mainly because I'd listen to the soundtrack while writing papers in college. Even if you can't get past the standard musical cheesiness, just mute it and take in the wonderful scenery.

Ocean's Eleven, Twelve, & Thirteen Believe me, Vegas in the summer months is nigh-unbearable (not sure about Europe, as I've only been a winter/spring traveler). So, sit back and watch the heists and marvel at how these cool cats stay so fresh-looking. Movie magic!

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly Because you have to have a western, you might as well watch the best. Just be glad you're not choking on the dust of Spain, er the Old West.

Requisites: Summertime TV

Even more so than during the regular season, summer TV is a reality wasteland. And after consulting Entertainment Weekly's "Summer TV Preview" issue, there's not much promising new stuff debuting between now and September. So, in addition to the slim pickings being broadcast, I've added some essential shows available on DVD.

New Stuff:

"The Office" webisodes This is probably the most interesting new programming and it's not even on TV. Last year's webisodes gave the accountants a chance to shine. I'm curious as to who will be the focus of the new ones.

"Fear Itself" (NBC, June 5) A horror anthology on network TV? Yeah, chances are it won't be all that great, but I'll give it a shot.

"Secret Diary of a Call Girl" (Showtime, June 16) This British import had me at its name.

Summer Olympics (NBC, August 8-24) The Winter Olympics are superior (all hail the Curl Girls!), but these games aren't too shabby. Added bonus: this year you only have to plan one party if you want to celebrate both the closing ceremonies and my birthday.

"Shark Week" (Discover Channel, ???) Always reliable, remember to clear your calendar when this airs.

DVDs:

"TV Funhouse" When this first was broadcast, I thought it was so wrong...and funny. It finally hits DVD next month. I'm glad I didn't splurge on those ebay bootlegs so many years ago.

"Spaced" I've only ever caught clips of this BBC show on YouTube, but I am extremely excited about this series from Team Pegg/Wright/Frost. I'm planning on calling in sick to work when I get this and devoting several days to fanboy hilarity.

"Stella" A goofily surreal sitcom that arose from the ashes of The State, this show isn't for everyone. But in a perfect world it would be. I'm honestly surprised that it lasted ten episodes.

"The Tick" Speaking of failed sitcoms, this was a brilliant take on the superhero genre. Patrick Warburton was perfect in the title role.

"Undeclared" Judd Apatow is the shiznit nowadays, so why don't you (re)visit his one-season wonder about college life? I recently watched the entire series again and I think it's hilarious. Below is an entire episode for your evaluation and/or enjoyment.

"Truth or Dare" Part I:

Undeclared - The Complete Series - Truth or Dare: Part 1

"Truth or Dare" Part II:

Undeclared - The Complete Series - Truth or Dare: Part II

"Flight of the Conchords" I've pimped this show enough. Watch it, dammit.

Requisites: Summertime Music

I could list dozens of albums to carry you through the summer months, but I figured that all you really need are six. These are some of the albums that I repeatedly go to once June rears its ugly head.

Buyaka: Ultimate Dancehall Collection I'm not a huge fan of dancehall reggae, but my freshman year roommate would play this a lot and it really takes me back to my college years. Everyone needs just one dancehall compilation in their collection and this is the one to get.

Clem Snide: Soft Spot Singer Eef Barzelay's voice is definitely an acquired taste, but this country-tinged album - ruminations on why the world is a good place, dedicated to his wife and newborn baby - is clever, low-key, and beautiful. "Summer will come with Al Green and sweetened iced tea/Summer will come and be all green with the sweetness of thee". That pretty much sums it up.

The National: Boxer These guys have produced the quintessential album to be listened to on summer nights while sitting outside and enjoying the vice of your choosing. Lush and orchestral, the music hangs in the air like the smoke of a mellow Cavendish.

The Beach Boys: Pet Sounds Really, at this point there's not much more you can say about this absolute masterpiece. For extra credit, get the boxed set and see how it all came together.

Buena Vista Social Club: Buena Vista Social Club The year this was released I bought a new grill and these elder statesmen of Cuban jazz provided the soundtrack for an entire summer of meat, vegetables, and Sweet Lady Propane.

Fountains of Wayne: Fountains of Wayne Once you're done with school, the realization that the next 40 or so summers no longer belong to you can be a hard slap in the face. Fountains of Wayne make music for us cubicle dwellers. This is the sound of throwing off the necktie and hitting the road at 5 pm.

Requisites: Summertime

"Summer in the city means cleavage, cleavage, cleavage." - Regina Spektor

Yes, summer is upon us and Regina Spektor nailed one of the only positive things about this wretched season. I hate summer, mostly because of the heat. It is no fun to have a perpetual pool of back sweat soaking through my shirts for three months. I have to do my best to avoid the evil sun because my alabaster skin just can't handle it. On top of it all, the back of my neck gets dirty and gritty. Ugh.

Let's face it: Autumn is the King of All Seasons. The temperature is the most comfortable. The clothes are the best. The rustling of golden leaves underfoot takes you back to more innocent times. Fight songs fill the air of college stadiums around the country. And the Great Pumpkin shows up, if your pumpkin patch is sincere enough. Sigh. But, much like how I sit through the just-okay "My Name Is Earl" to get to the insanely-awesome "The Office" every Thursday, we must suffer through summer before we can get to fall.

Over the next several days I'll give you guys what I like to call Summertime Requisites. These are the things that you'll need to survive these dogs days. Included are all manner of music, movies, TV shows, books, booze, and whatnot. Trust me, you'll be needing this stuff in order to get through the 90+ degree days.

So keep an eye out here and you just may make it to September.

Now I know what to say the next time I get mugged. And am Asian.

This confirms my belief that the Japanese are a weird and delightful people.

And that one mugger is wearing the least effective mask ever.

EDIT: Okay, I found the video elsewhere and I embedded it.

Things are going to start happening to me now (part III)

Well, this has been a banner week for me, as I was on yet another podcast, this time on This Show Again. They had a contest where the 100th caller would win a big box of mostly useless stuff (mismatched socks, ball of cables, old cell phone, SI Swimsuit Issue, bag of Milanos, etc.). After a couple of months - and about 75 calls - the contest drew to a close. I emerged victorious.

They called one night and interviewed me "on the air." Because of the guys' speakerphone/Skype set-up, I couldn't hear them too well, so I sound kind of disoriented. Of coure, as with anything involving people who don't know me, there's a lengthy debate about as to how to pronounce my name.

Anyway, you can listen to it here (the episode is #88 titled "Your Google Gangers") and my segment starts around 23:35.