Thursday, January 05, 2006

Brother, can you spare a window regulator?

Did you miss me? I meant to update the blog at least once or twice, but never got around to it (obviously). I only went to the coffee shop twice and the wifi connection I "borrowed" at my mom's house was spotty, at best. Some thoughts about my trip:

  • On the West Virginia Turnpike (around Charleston), I rolled down my window and paid the toll. As I pulled away, my window wouldn't go back up. So I drove the rest of the way home - 4+ hours - with an arctic blast at my face. Luckily, I packed my heavy pea coat, winter hat, gloves, and scarf - even though I knew they wouldn't be needed in Virginia's tobacco-growing friendly climate. Hooray for overpacking! Turns out that my Jetta needed a new window regulator. My trip was extended a few days while I waited for the part to arrive at the place my dad gets his car work done. And then we found out it was backordered, so I opted to drive home (the window kept up with pieces of rubber tubing wedged inbetween the window and door) and have the VW dealer fix it. Got it done today - at no charge! I thought my warranty was up, but I guess not.
  • I have a new mission: to eliminate our nation's oppressive speed limits. About an hour into my trip, I got pulled over (tagged by a damn plane) for going 70 in a 55. WTF? In addition to the window fiasco and speeding ticket, about a half hour from home I got pulled for having a broken tail light. This cop was cool, though, and just gave me a warning. I think he had pity for me when I told him the Legend of the Window.
  • It's a Wonderful Life never gets old. Even watching it after a long day and in extremely uncomfortable seats.
  • I say it every season as an excuse, but the Richmond Spiders truly are in a "rebuilding season." Their game against Wake Forest was just plain ugly.
  • Best present: a smoking jacket (thanks, mom and grandma!). I'll be asking for the matching Playmates for my birthday.
  • Even on vacaton, it's hard to clear 12 hours on your schedule. I never got around to my Lord of the Rings Nerd-a-Thon. But I will soon.
  • I wish my allergies didn't prevent me from getting a cat. My brother's cats are really cool, but they make my life miserable when I go to his house.
  • As Elton John likely said during his closeted days, the beard is back. It's itchy, but it's fun to see what I will look like during the inevitable Zombie Apocolypse (assuming I'm one of the survivors, of course).
  • Two of my Christmas wishes came true: Ohio State manhandled Notre Dame and USC finally lost.
  • Five Guys still makes the best burgers, with Jimmy's a close second.
  • Mennonites can make a mean grilled cheese and tomato sandwich. As does Jimmy's. I think I should write a book along the lines of The Grilled Cheeses of I-95 or something. It may not sell, but the research would be fun.
  • I am the Smartest Man on the Planet, as evidenced by my three consecutive wins at Trivial Pursuit (90s Edition).
  • My new daily scent is Polo Blue, which replaces my previous daily scent of the last 8-10 years - Polo Sport (thanks, dad). It was about time for a change.
  • I imbibed the single worst beverage ever: absinthe. It's worse than Surge. I expected the essentially green-colored vodka that was in the bottle I snuck back from Prague years ago, but no. This beverage (courtesy of Phil) tasted like a tree. Even with copious amounts of lemon juice and sugar added to it. But I drank it all down. Sadly, there were no weird hallucinations.
  • I received the Jones Soda Co.'s Holiday Pack, featuring Brussels Sprout with Prosciutto, Cranberry Sauce, Turkey & Gravy, Wild Herb Stuffing, and Pumpkin Pie sodas. So maybe I shouldn't be too quick to name absinthe as The Worst Thing I've Ever Drank. I'll let you know.
  • I know you're wondering what 2006 calendar I opted for. I got three. First, from my dad I got the annual pocket calendar, which I keep in my messenger bag. As for a daily calendar, I couldn't decide on one so I got two: Dave Barry and Playboy Swimsuit and Lingerie. Gotta love the post-New Years discount.
  • Towards the end of my trip I was getting really antsy because I HATE living out of a suitcase. To my friends who are thinking "I didn't know that": why do you think I always utilize the hotel room dresser, even for an overnight stay? It probably stems from my dad being killed by a garment bag.
  • Jeers to the West Virginia's government for raising the Turnpike's tolls before my trip back, from $1.25 to $2. Doesn't Sen. Byrd give the state enough pork to cover its expenses?
  • I think I got the bug my brother and nephew had. Right now I'm planning on going to bed early and sleeping through the weekend.

So that was my trip, in twenty bullet points or less.


Panthergirl said...

I *did* miss you, Micah!!

Glad you had a good time and got a cool smoking jacket.

I got the BEST calendar for '06: "Nuns Having Fun".



GMadrid said...

happy New Year! Good to have you back Micah! My daily reading will finally be up to date. :)

Kate The Great said...

Glad you're back. My viewership went up exponentially while you were gone, but I don't know that it is by an enthusiastic fandom.

Christmas: I got cash.
New Years: I spent my cash to drink lots o martinis.
Today: I start my annual diet effort...

spydrz said...

I'd like to point out that the third Trivial Pursuit game was *not* finished...

Micah said...

Aw, thanks, guys.

panthergirls - For some reason, I could totally see you getting a calendar like that. Crazy, I know.

gmadrid - Well, I'll do my best to make some daily posts. You'd think I'd have a backlog of ideas from being gone so long, but...

KtG - I got lots of cash, as well. It's really the perfect gift. My diet doesn't start until after all of the Christmas goodies are gone.

spydrz - True, but the consensus was that I would have won that game, since I was smokin' y'all. I was perfectly fine with continuing it, too.

Micah said...

I feel like a Sweathog (or possibly Mase)!

spydrz said...

I had the Turkey/Gravy flavored drink once...bleh! One. Sip. Was. Enough.

Law Fairy said...

I tasted absinthe for the first time in August during my trip to London. The guy completely watered it down, though, so no hallucinations for me either :(

Was this real stuff? How'd you get it in the States?

Micah said...

spydrz - A real man drinks it all down.

law fairy - If you got it in a bar in London, chances are it was the fake stuff (I think real absinthe is illegal there). No wormwood, no absinthe.

The stuff I had my friend (Shamrock aka Phil) brought back from a trip to Prague, where it is legal. There was a freakin' branch floating in the bottle, for Pete's sake. It was sick. Like really shitty NyQuil.

spydrz said...

BTW, the additional toll in WV is to offset the higher costs of dry cleaning Byrd's white sheets. For his "outfit."

Anonymous said...

Glad you're back full time. Aside from the adventures we shared in Richmond, I had a few of my own:

a. 24 hours of plane travel, all of which I hated, but only because I hate flying, not because Alitalia is any worse than any other airline. Plus, the whole time, all I could think about was Fred Armisen's character in "EuroTrip"...(m'scusi!)

b. They celebrate Christmas really strangely in Israel. They light menorahs, sing Hanukkah songs, and eat donuts. Of course, given what has befallen Ariel Sharon, it might be wise to cut back on the donuts.

c. An afternoon drive through the West Bank. Nothing but rocks, scrubby trees, some weird fence (heaven knows what THAT'S for), and tire fires. Those crazy A-rabs sure love burnin' them tires! Of course we stopped to have khlav kalash and crab juice for lunch.

d. Forget absinthe. I tried Lunesta the first night I was in Israel. Freaky. I was out cold before I even had a chance to reach over and turn off the lamp.

e. Those crazy Israelis love to do things like Americans. First they build freeways. Then they throw in mind-numbing rush hour traffic to make us feel right at home.

f. I finally saw Armageddon...the actual place, not the crappy movie. I can't think of a more beautiful place to have the final battle between good and evil.

g. I ate at this nice restaurant on the Sea of Galilee, where they actually bring little grills with meat to your table. Of course, it was hard to enjoy...being 600 feet below sea level, it's hard to breate because there's too much oxygen.

h. I got a cab ride to the airport at 3am. He drove approximately 492 miles per hour (after converting it from kilometers per hour). Lane markers are merely advisory, apparently.

Sure, it doesn't beat Micah's tales, but that's the kind of fun a few shekels will buy you. Now I can get back to football, unlimited hot water, and wasting electricity!

jasdye said...

wait, those speed-checking planes are for real?? did the cop pull you over in the plane?

isn't that a waste of money? of course, now i want me one of them?

jasdye said...

seriously, you drank that turkey and gravy jones soda stuff? you're the second blogger today that i read drank that nasty-looking stuff.



Micah said...

dubin - Sounds like a fun trip. Solely by your description, you have convinced me to build a summer home over there.

jasdye - Yeah, I'd never heard anyone get tagged by a plane, either. Sucks being the first.

There were two cops standing in the street, waiving me and another guy to pull over. As one of them was running my info (thankfully, none of my crimes are on record), I could see the plane circling in the air. Bastards. And, yes, a total waste of money.

And I only received the sodas for Christmas. They haven't passed my lips (yet).

Anonymous said...

Micah--There's a nice patch of real estate in downtown Ramallah that was recently reduced to rubble. Perhaps you could look into that spot for your summer home.

Micah said...

Quick question: how friendly are the neighbors across the fence? Say, if I needed to borrow a cup of sugar or some pork chops, would I get beheaded?