Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Hump Day News Round-Up

  • A Tokyo jewelwer created a Valentine's Day chocolate shaped like Africa and encrusted with diamonds, worth $5 million. Now, that's rich. (Okay, stupid joke).
  • Hockey legend Mario Lemieux retires again.
  • A 73 year-old woman was killed by a banana. A survivor of the Nazis and the Commies, she said, "I can't believe after all this time it was a bloody banana that killed me." At least she had a sense of humor about it.
  • A Pittsburgh area high school student wearing a Denver Broncos jersey was humiliated by his teacher, who made the kid sit on the floor and had other students throw crumpled paper at him. This stuff just writes itself, I tells ya.
  • Kentucky's governor doesn't kowtow to Pamela Anderson's big, beautiful breasts and keeps a bust of Colonel Sanders up in the state's capitol. PETA lunacy aside, I still love you, Pammy.


spydrz said...

I think the bigger question is, what is ethnicity class?

Micah said...

It's where you learn to be ethnic. Duh.

The Law Fairy said...



Sorry. Twinge of bitterness there.

Micah said...

Careful. I may make you sit on the floor while I instruct my readers to throw pieces of paper at you.

Kate The Great said...

Gov. Fletcher will not bend over for Pamela Anderson. Not in a state that is known for (as Sen. Mitch McConnell said at the RNC) "Fast horses and beautiful women."

Some people like to switch those adjectives around. Either way, KY's a state that makes everyone happy.

jasdye said...

1) that was a joke? sorry, i was falling asleep.

2) don't worry, he'll come out of retirement to play for the blackhawks.

3) that's closer to a joke. keep trying.

4) pennsylvania has THE most intensive sports fans this side of the big pond - no, wait, anywhere.

5) too easy.

Micah said...

No real joke for the banana lady - that was an actual quote of hers from the linked story.