Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Hump Day News Round-Up

  • A Tokyo jewelwer created a Valentine's Day chocolate shaped like Africa and encrusted with diamonds, worth $5 million. Now, that's rich. (Okay, stupid joke).
  • Hockey legend Mario Lemieux retires again.
  • A 73 year-old woman was killed by a banana. A survivor of the Nazis and the Commies, she said, "I can't believe after all this time it was a bloody banana that killed me." At least she had a sense of humor about it.
  • A Pittsburgh area high school student wearing a Denver Broncos jersey was humiliated by his teacher, who made the kid sit on the floor and had other students throw crumpled paper at him. This stuff just writes itself, I tells ya.
  • Kentucky's governor doesn't kowtow to Pamela Anderson's big, beautiful breasts and keeps a bust of Colonel Sanders up in the state's capitol. PETA lunacy aside, I still love you, Pammy.


spydrz said...

I think the bigger question is, what is ethnicity class?

Micah said...

It's where you learn to be ethnic. Duh.

Law Fairy said...



Sorry. Twinge of bitterness there.

Micah said...

Careful. I may make you sit on the floor while I instruct my readers to throw pieces of paper at you.

Kate The Great said...

Gov. Fletcher will not bend over for Pamela Anderson. Not in a state that is known for (as Sen. Mitch McConnell said at the RNC) "Fast horses and beautiful women."

Some people like to switch those adjectives around. Either way, KY's a state that makes everyone happy.

jasdye said...

1) that was a joke? sorry, i was falling asleep.

2) don't worry, he'll come out of retirement to play for the blackhawks.

3) that's closer to a joke. keep trying.

4) pennsylvania has THE most intensive sports fans this side of the big pond - no, wait, anywhere.

5) too easy.

Micah said...

No real joke for the banana lady - that was an actual quote of hers from the linked story.