Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Hump Day News Round-Up

  • Super-beautiful Angelina Jolie has been impregnated with Brad Pitt's super-handsome seed. Now maybe he'll finally admit to being in a relationship with her. Oh, what am I saying? This is Hollywood, where a loving and committed relationship (much less marriage) isn't a prerequisite to having a kid.
  • Cough medicines don't work. Of course, this study was released just after I spent a mini-fortune on OTC remedies.
  • The man who discovered LSD turned 100 today. If you go to his birthday party, remember not to eat the brown acid.
  • Ted Kennedy is writing a children's book. Make your own joke.
  • File under "Lawsuits That Will Never Occur in the United States": a Royal Family bodyguard has sued Scotland Yard for "over-promoting" him because he was black.
  • Elmo wants to kill us all. I knew it!

5 comments:

The Dubin said...

I believe Ted Kennedy's book is about a car that can swim.

Micah said...

Ha!

jasdye said...

the url for the elmo post was not found, apparently.

'elmo says no means no!'

Micah said...

Thanks for the heads-up. I linked to a different source for the story.

jasdye said...

it was funnier when i thought that the girl was 16 YRS old and not months.