42-39

Not the hottest cheerleader on the Buckeyes squad, but definitely the cutest.

This afternoon is HUGE

Of course, I'm talking about the Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes wedding (Hail Xenu!).



Seriously, this game* is huge and it should be a fun afternoon. And one quote can summarize my plans for today:

"If everything was fried, there would be no war." - Bill Dauterive

Luckily, I've got a whole bottle of Tums.

*Not to mention the other big game: The Oldest Rivalry in the South

Office chatter

Any excuse for another Jenna Fischer pic.

Tonight's episode of "The Office" (supersized!): "The Merger"

The Scranton and Stamford branches merge and bring Jim and Pam together, again.

Discuss.

Subquestion: Team Pam or Team Karen?

Beverage of the Day

Jack's Pumpkin Spice Ale. Good, but I thought it'd be a bit more pumpkiny. Mmmmm...girly beer.

MW Fall Friend Drive 2006

I'm wealthy in superficial, social-networking-site friends...but not rich enough. Of course, I'd love to have loyal MW readers as MySpace friends (hit me up). But I'd really love to have more last.fm friends. Currently, I have three: my cousin, a blog buddy (Kate), and some chick I've never met before*. last.fm is quite the haven for music geeks like myself, in that it tabulates what you listen to.

For instance, here is what I am currently listening to:



My top artists this week and top tracks and artists overall:



Isn't that cool? Check my profile for full stats. While you're there, drop me a friend request and I'll add you, no questions asked.

*Hey, she sought me out.

Burning down the house...deliciously

It took going to four different Wal-Marts, but I finally got my turkey fryer. Just in time for the Ohio State-Team From Up North game. Aw, yeah.

Requiem for Curly (and his twin brother)

R.I.P. Jack Palance, 1919-2006.



On Thursday a co-worker and I were discussing whether or not Palance was dead. Spooky. Believe it...*inhale*...*exhale*...or not.

This Christmas will be the funkiest one ever

Solely because of this.

Office chatter

Tonight's episode of "The Office": "Branch Closing"

With the Scranton Branch closing, Michael struggles to keep spirits up.

Discuss.

Take luck.

"Where was you?"

Last week I took my nephews to see Brian Regan. Hilarious. The main part of the show consisted of all new material (to me, at least; nothing was from his CD, DVD or Comedy Central special). His encore was made up of bits requested by the audience. He was just as good as the first time I saw him - about 6 years ago at the Washington DC Improv. It's amazing how his act is so damn clean, yet so funny.

A note to BR fans*: your reciting a bit word for word while Regan goes through it may be cool for you and your friends, but it lessens the experience for everyone else.

*Specifically, the four dudes (especially the 10 ft. tall guy) seated in front of me.

"We must move forward, not backward, upward, but forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!"

The elections...a disappointment. But the GOP got what it deserved. I shed no tears for them. Hopefully, this'll be a blessing and the party will return to its limited government roots (which they have strayed away from...greatly).

And Sen. Allen, the election was yours to lose. I don't know how you could do it, but you blew it.

Let the gridlock* commence!

Once again, Stephen Colbert turns last night into comic lemonade:

"The people have spoken and apparently they're tired of freedom. Don't get me wrong, I'm not angry. I'm just disappointed. I thought this country would last longer than 230 years. That's it, folks. America's over.

Don't think you're off the hook, voters. You're the ones who made this bed. Now you're the ones who are gonna have to move over so a gay couple can sleep in it. Tomorrow you're all gonna to wake up in a brave new world, a world where the Constitution gets trampled by an army of terrorist clones created in a stem-cell research lab run by homosexual doctors who sterilize their instruments over burning American flags, where tax-and-spend Democrats take all your hard earned money and use it to buy electric cars for National Public Radio and teach evolution to illegal immigrants. Oh and everybody's high!"

Hilarious.

*Which is actually the best thing for this country right now. Just hope Bush can stand strong.

I think I voted for Pat Buchanan

Here's some Election Day fun: when you go into the voting booth, peer over the curtain and say, "okay, who used up all of the conditioner?"*

If my experience at 7:45 am is any indication, voter turnout is going to be pretty big.

*I can't take credit for that. It's a classic bit from the old Letterman show on NBC (when he was funny).

Hey, Ohio voters

Vote "no" on Issue 5. And if you feel absolutely compelled to curb individual liberties, vote for the less restrictive smoking ban* (Issue 4).

That is all.

*Honestly, folks. People don't go to bars to be freakin' healthy.

My newest toy

At the risk of not having another date for at least five years, I present to you my latest toy:


"How's that for a slice of fried gold?"

Yes, I am completely retarded for all things Shaun of the Dead. I don't normally get these types of figures*, but I had to have it (on sale and with a co-worker's Tower Records employee discount, to boot). I can't wait until the Ed figure comes out.

In other news, the SotD brain trust has released a couple of teaser trailers for their next film - Hot Fuzz (their take on cop movies). Shame it won't be released until March.

*Pretty much all I've got is Zoidberg, Brodie from Mallrats, and bunch of "Simpsons" characters.

Beverage of the day

Pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks. Like crack. Warm, yummy, liquidy crack.

I still refuse to play their lnguistic game, though. Heaven forbid I use the words small, medium, and large when ordering. It is a bit funny to watch the clerk, er barista, become a bit disoriented when I don't go along with ther subtle subversion of America.

Many thanks to Trinity for the free beverage coupon.

Office chatter

Tonight's episode of "The Office": "Diwali"

Michael urges the staff to support Kelly and attend a local celebration of the Hindu Festival of Lights.

Discuss

Crush of the Week: Kari Byron

This week's Crush is MythBusters co-host Kari Byron. Honestly, I don't watch her show that often, but I dig it when I do. And I saw it last night, so she's been on my mind.



As The Todd would say, I'd like to bust her myth (cute, red-headed geek five).

Ready to have a stupid song stuck in your head?

I present to you banana phone.

Credit due: Distorted View

Samhain wrap-up

And another Halloween comes to a close. Mom prepared a great food spread. Taking the kids out trick or treating was a blast. "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" and the Halloween-themed episode of "The Office" played on TV. It's late and I'm sugar crashing right now, so I'll let the pictures speak (mostly) for themselves.



Yours truly as 4-Micah*. Get it? Get it?



My nephews. For tonight only they were given permission to say "lady, obviously you don't know your shit from Shinola" if someone couldn't figure out their costumes.



Spydrz as a Duke lacrosse player. Broomstick and rapist stigma not included.



My sister's fam (left to right, from bottom): Raggedy Ann, Lil' Jack-O-Lantern, Raggedy Ann, Off-Duty Vice Principal.

See y'all in November.

*This is not the costume I planned on wearing. I'll save that one for next year.

Happy Halloween

I have no idea where I found this picture.

Which do you choose: tricks and treats or the Great Pumpkin?

Micah World Top 25

Here they are, the top 25 songs burning up my iPod (as of 10.30.06):

1. "More Than a Feeling" - Boston
2. "Just Like Heaven" - Katie Melua
3. "Someday" - Anya Marina
4. "Ain't No Other Man" - Christina Aguilera
5. "Oliver's Army" - Elvis Costello
6. "God's Cop" - Happy Mondays
7. "Knock Yourself Out" - Jon Brion
8. "Nine Million Bicycles" - Katie Melua
9. "Lump" - The Presidents of the United States of America
10. "P Control" - Prince
11. "Adrenaline!" - The Roots
12. "How To Be Dead" - Snow Patrol
13. "Kyle Quit the Band" - Tenacious D
14. "Mr. Bad Example" - Warren Zevon
15. "Bank Job" - Barenaked Ladies
16. "Call Me Calmly" - Barenaked Ladies
17. "If You Find Yourself Caught in Love" - Belle & Sebastian
18. "Funny Little Frog" - Belle & Sebastian
19. "Jesusland" - Ben Folds
20. "Lua" - Bright Eyes
21. "Kiss Me I'm Shitfaced" - Dropkick Murphys
22. "Two Pink Lines" - Eric Church
23. "Yours and Mine" - Fountains of Wayne
24. "Cold Beverage" - G. Love & Special Sauce
25. "Do It Better" - Happy Mondays

"P Control" continues on its blitzkrieg since the last chart. And I've listened to a lot of Happy Mondays and Belle & Sebastian.

Why I love Halloween Part II

Might as well make this post a tradition...


Overruled.

Because for one day out of the year, nearly all women dress like prostitutes.

Since it's the season and all...

How about a very polite vampire*?

Someone should tell her that vampires have recently been proven to be mathematically impossible.

*I think she's been drinking.

I'm rooting for Detroit

Casey at bat.

I don't really care about the World Series this year, but I'm pulling for Detroit because of one man: University of Richmond Hall of Famer Sean Casey.

I'm going to be a Big Brother All-Star

Today - and with neither explanation nor warning - there were cameras installed over the two cubicles we temps are working at. Looks like I'll have to put my pants back on when I'm working*.

*I can't take credit for that line. Props go to fellow temp Bill.

October TV rocks my world

The single biggest WTF Moment in celluloid history.

I love television programming in October. AMC is airing wall to wall horror movies. Turner Classic Movies is doing theme nights of the classics (The Undead night is on the 27th, FYI). And, of course...It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. Add Halloween-themed episodes of my favorite shows and I'm good until Christmas.

Office chatter

Tonight's episode of "The Office": "Initiation"

Dwight takes Ryan out for his first sales call and gives him a series of challenges along the way.

Discuss.

Crush of the Week: Rashida Jones

This week's Crush is actress Rashida Jones, who is currently shaping up to be Pam's romantic rival for Jim on "The Office".


a.k.a. KarentheJimSlayer

Could you imagine just how cool it would be to have the guy who wrote the theme to "Sanford & Son" as your father?!

The glorious return of the Hump Day News Round-Up (enhanced!)

• MW Crush of the Year 2005 Scarlett Johansson is recording her first CD - an album of Tom Waits songs. Hell, it sounds cool, but even if it is of Lohan quality, I'll be buying it just for the booklet.

• The Japanese (of course) have developed a wine tasting robot. At least when the machines become self-aware, they'll be useful at dinner parties. Not that we'll be invited.

• Finally, some good news: social drinkers earn more than non-drinkers. I will be alerting my temp agency in the morning.

Things I bought at Wal-Mart this evening

All for under $15:

• Ohio State ball cap
  
• egg rolls
  
• ramen
  
• hand sanitizer (trial size)
  
• Rosemary's Baby DVD

And as I was driving away through the parking lot, my iPod shuffled to Ben Folds' "All U Can Eat". Nice.

Some pretty twisted TV

MW recommendation: "Dexter" on Showtime. I watched the first two episodes* this evening and am hooked. Bascially, the guy from "Six Feet Under" plays a forensics specialist by day, serial killer by night (but he only kills bad guys). It's kind of gruesome, but a lot of dark fun.

It makes me want to read the novel that the show is based on.

*Both of which are available as free streams at the provided link.

Brilliant. Just brilliant.

Normally, I'd just post a link, but I felt compelled to embed this sucker.

This post is for Dubin

Lots o' Buckeyes

Should be exciting (after all, MSU has spoiled things in the past).

Office chatter

Tonight's episode of "The Office": "Grief Counseling"

Michael forces his staff to attend grief counseling after the death of his former regional manager.

Discuss.

We can smell our own

Just because I, too, am desperate, doesn't mean I'm like this guy. Even though I have little game, I hope it is better than his.

And since I'm in a YouTube mood: the stoned professor

Expenses recouped

As I was driving to work this morning, a middle-aged woman in a volvo pulled up right next to me, tooted her horn, and waved enthusiastically. Then she passed me. Turns out, she had University of Richmond license plates, too.

That little exchange made my mush plates worth the cost and all of the DMV hassle.

You just know that she's going to tell her co-workers, husband, kids, and pastor about those kick-ass, stick-it-to-Cooper tags she saw this morning.

Crush of the Week: Aisha Tyler

This week's Crush is former "Talk Soup" hostess, "24" villian, and poker player Aisha Tyler.



Lately, she's filled in for the recovering Roger Ebert a couple of times and did a good job.

Man, I need to start reading The Onion again

For some reason, it's been quite a while since I last went to The Onion* - one of my favorite sites. Today I ventured there and laughed my ass off. Yeah, there's the usual funny articles ("Proud Cystic-Fibrosis Foundation Doesn't Need Your Charity"), but one in particular had me howling: "Retired S1Ws Recalled To Active Duty". Hilarious. A choice passage:

"I got a letter from the P.E. the other day," said James Bomb, 46, also a former S1W. "I opened it, and read it, and said they were suckers. They want me for their army or whatever? Picture me giving a damn - I said 'Never.'"

They even managed to work in my favorite PE phrase: cold lampin'. Sure, the article requires some knowledge of Public Enemy to truly get the humor. Luckily, I have that.

*I am, however, an avid listener of The Onion Radio News podcast. Excellent stuff.

"You've got to see the ba-by."

It's alive.

I'm an uncle (again). On Friday my sister popped out another kid: Owen Keith (9 lbs. 7 oz.!)...



...which means Sadie will be twice as neglected now.

I think it's karma for NYC's potential trans fat ban

The Yankees - the only MLB club that I actively root against - will not advance to the World Series (again). Sweet.

Office chatter

Tonight's episode of "The Office": "The Coup"

Angela pushes Dwight to take action against Michael.

Discuss.

"You know the guy who can pick up any girl? I'm him. On crack."

The best movie of the year is finally out on DVD. Buy it. Watch it. Love it.

Back and ready to hug it out (bitch)

I've been back for a few days, but have refrained from posting because I've been recovering (free chocolate martinis at the wedding*!) and working. But rest assured, the whole time y'all have been in my heart. And other regions.

One cool thing: from time to time I fill out Entertainment Weekly's subscriber survey e-mails, but only if there's a prize involved. Well, waiting for me at my old crib (aka Grandma's house) in Columbus was a copy of the "Entourage" season 2 DVDs, which arrived as a result of filling out one of said surveys. Seems that EW's marketing department still has my old mailing address on file. That was a pleasant surprise.

*And I have no clue as to how many I drank. Enough to throw up three times...that I know.

TTFN

Today I'm heading to Ohio (the "Show Me State") for my cousin's wedding and will not be bringing my laptop with me, so there'll be no MW updates until Sunday. To tide you over, here's a picture of Borat.



Nice. See y'all in a few days.

Micah World Top 25

Here they are, the top 25 songs burning up my iPod (as of 9.27.06):

1. "Someday" - Anya Marina
2. "More Than a Feeling" - Boston
3. "Oliver's Army" - Elvis Costello
4. "Knock Yourself Out" - Jon Brion
5. "Nine Million Bicycles" - Katie Melua
6. "Just Like Heaven" - Katie Melua
7. "Lump" - The Presidents of the United States of America
8. "How To Be Dead" - Snow Patrol
9. "Mr. Bad Example" - Warren Zevon
10. "Jesusland" - Ben Folds
11. "Ain't No Other Man" - Christina Aguilera
12. "Two Pink Lines" - Eric Church
13. "Touchdown Turnaround (Don't Give Up On Me)" - Hellogoodbye
14. "You Are What You Love" - Jenny Lewis with the Watson Twins
15. "The Closest Thing To Crazy" - Katie Melua
16. "For The Actor" - Mates of State
17. "Great Escape" - Moby
18. "P Control" - Prince
19. "Fidelity" - Regina Spektor
20. "She Must Think I Like Poetry" - Robbie Fulks
21. "Adrenaline!" - The Roots
22. "Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too" - Say Anything
23. "Rainbows in the Dark" - Tilly and the Wall
24. "All the Pretty Girls Leave Town" - Tim Easton
25. "88 Lines About 44 Women" - The Nails

Since the last chart, we've got a new king (er, queen) and a few debuts, including "P Control"'s initial bid for chart dominance.

I've got Heather Graham's back (and front)

Unlike last season, I'm refusing to give many new fall TV shows a shot this time out. There are several reasons*, but mostly it is because every year the networks seem more short-sighted and refuse to let their new series' cultivate audiences (Remember "Kitchen Confidential"? No? How about "The Tick"? "Love Monkey"? Anyone?). Just when you get into a good one, if it's not a Top 10 smash right out of the gate - BAM - it's yanked for repeats of "CSI" or "Law and Order". Or worse yet, a reality show. Even though some of the new shows sound promising, to mitigate any wasted investment of my time, I'm only giving three a shot: "Heroes", "30 Rock", and "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip" (all on NBC).

I figure if any appealing new show actually gets lucky enough to last a whole season, I'll be able to catch it on the inevitable DVD release.

EDIT: In "Heroes" last night, there was a character named Micah (the young son of the webcam stripper!). His mom repeatedly called his name out at one point. I've gotta say, that's the first time that I've experienced hearing my name used in fictional pop culture. It was kind of odd, but I liked it. Now I know how you Tom, Dick, and Chers feel.

*I already watch enough TV as it is; there's no DVR this season.

Office chatter

Tonight's episode of "The Office": "Gay Witch Hunt"

When Michael unintentionally outs a gay employee, he stumbles through a sensitivity minefield.

Dinkin' flicka!

Discuss.

Quick movie reviews: beer, blasphemy, and brake pads

"Why don't we get you out those wet clothes and into a dry martini."

Beerfest: I love a good R rated comedy. And this is one: lots of drinking, cussing, and boobage. Freakin' hilarious.

The Da Vinci Code: Critics gave this a severe beatdown, but it was actually pretty good. Though it was dumbed down - and the source material ain't literature to begin with - at least the words "sacred feminine" were only used once or twice (as opposed to it appearing in the book about 500 times). What's scarier than a murderous albino monk? Tom Hanks's hair.

Cars: I am a Pixar junkie and while it had all of the qualities you'd expect (top notch animation, decent story, lots of humor), this is probably my least favorite of the films that they've put out. Maybe it's because I'm not a car guy or NASCAR fan. Or maybe it's because I despise Larry the Cable Guy. It's still a good flick, though.

Why is today a good day?

Aside from none of my homies dying, "Scrubs" enters syndication today and it's on thrice daily (granted, I doubt I'll catch the 11:30 pm airing, but it's comforting to know that it's on).

Of course, I have the DVDs, but this is just so much...easier.

"Hey, guys. Someone making soup?"

"This is the first refrigerator I've ever owned."

"Oh, I steal things all the time. It's just something I do. I stopped caring a long time ago. You should see how many supplies I've taken from this place. Honestly, I love stealing things."

After plowing through the bulk of "The Office" second season DVDs, I've come to the conclusion that Creed is my favorite character. He's just so damn creepy...and funny. Turns out, in real life he was a member of the band The Grass Roots.

In other news, I came across this Jam - that's Jim and Pam - video: a compilation of their cute little moments set to the Old 97's "Question" (a song that I normally associate with Ed Stevens and Carol Vessey*). I love it. Yeah, I'm a big softy.

*Man, "Ed" is one of the only TV shows not already on DVD that I'm clamoring for.

Crush of the Week: Kristan Cunningham

This week's Crush is interior design guru Kristan Cunningham. I was flipping channels the other day and saw her. Even though I'm not a fan of design shows, I had to watch hers.



Since I haven't posted a Crush in a while, y'all get a bonus photo.



Who knew someone from West Virginia could be so cute?

The award for Babysitter of the Year goes to...

...this woman.

Credit due: Distorted View

Ah, what the heck. A few free plugs...

A MW favorite - Pigeon John - has a new CD out today. As much as I'd like to get it right now, I'm going to have to wait a bit.

But I did pick up some media today: the new CD from Barenaked Ladies and the stellar second season of "The Office" on DVD.

On bookshelves today is World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War by Max Brooks (author of The Zombie Survival Guide). I'm really salivating over this one, but my reading pile is already high enough (reading ZSG right now). FYI: Brad Pitt's production company already bought the rights to this book.

Lastly, Lego Star Wars II: The Original Trilogy, the sequel to an extremely fun video game, is out. Usually, I wait until a game hits the $20 mark before I buy it, but I don't know if I can hold out.

Whew. It's not often Media Buying Tuesday offers a DVD, CD, book, AND game that I really want. Too bad I don't have a real job and the disposable income that provides.

Never forget.

Much is being said about today's 5th anniversary of 9.11, so I thought I'd do something a little different and post my favorite song inspired by the events of that day. It's "The Medical Career" by Steve Poltz. He wrote it about (or maybe for) his then-record label's publicist, whose husband died in the World Trade Center.

The Medical Career by Steve Poltz

I should've had a medical career
I'd write a script for cheer
Eliminate all fear

If i had a medical career
I wouldn't play this lonely chord
I'd work the ER ward
I'd stitch up someone's heart
And analyze a chart
And I wouldn't sit alone with my guitar

I should've had a medical career
I'd hole up in my lab
Splice a pair of genes
I would be first rate
I'd take away the gene for hate

My medical career would help me live
I wouldn't be so sensitive
I'd really try to give
My heart would never hurt
And my hands would have no dirt
And I'd never write a song that makes me cry

My name is Steven Joseph Joshua Poltz
I got a confirmation name
It's really pretty lame
I picked it out myself when I was twelve

And I never use the left side of my brain
It's useless as a stain
Like water down the drain
But if i had a medical career
Hey, I'd be good a math
I'd take a different path
And I'd wipe out the disease that causes war

The other day I saw the sweetest thing
A ninety year old man
And his old wife, hand in hand
And he bumped his head upon the corner door
Inside a grocery store
And she squeezed his hand and whispered
"I love you"

The world is such a lovely, troubled place
But from up in outer space
It's one big human race
It looks just like a giant spinning eye
I never want to die
Such a beautiful blue sky
Like a flower growing wild in the weeds

I should've had a medical career
I'd write a script for cheer
Eliminate all fear
But most of all I'd steer
Myself to try and mend a broken heart

It still kind of chokes me up when I listen to it. While it never directly references 9.11, I think it effectively taps into the helpless feeling we all had during that time.

The song has never been officially released on CD or iTunes, but it is readily available from several live sets that can be found online (perfectly legal) and on his concert DVD.

For your convenience, I've posted the song for download here. It should be up for seven days, but if you have a problem getting it, let me know and other means of delivery can be arranged.

Hook 'em, Bucks!

O-H-I-O!

Suh-weet.

Quick movie reviews: three films my brother said I had to see

"'Spells'? Jesus, James, you make it sound like we're in a Tennessee Williams play. I don't get 'spells.'"

After I revealed that I had never seen the following movies - three of my brother's favorites - he lent them to me. My thoughts:

Wonder Boys: Sure, the title makes it sound like gay porn...but it's even better than that. I really dug this movie, about a pot-smoking writer/professor (Michael Douglas), his editor (Robert Downey, Jr.), and a talented but depressed student (Tobey Maguire). A stolen car, a transvestite, a dead blind dog, a long-delayed follow-up novel, and Marylin Monroe's wedding day coat all play a part in the hijinks that unfold over a wintery weekend in Pittsburgh. I liked this film so much that I went out and bought a used copy ($5!) at Blockbuster. In fact, I'm watching it again right now. Definitely check it out. And see if you can spot "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia"'s Mac in a non-speaking role.

Vanilla Sky: I was prepared to hate this one, since all I've ever heard about it was negative. But I liked it. Not as much as much as Wonder Boys, but it still left a positive impression. As with all Cameron Crowe movies, it has a great soundtrack.

Magnolia: This one I didn't really care for. I recognize that it is a well-made film and there are some great performances, but I just found it depressing and meandering. Aimee Mann's songs are used to great effect, though.

Thanksgiving is going to be awwwwwwkward

Not exactly breaking news at this point, but still funny: CNN anchor Kyra Phillips took a toilet break while her mike was live and broadcasting over a Bush speech. Among other things, she said her sister-in-law was a "control freak." Ouch.

She did give her Top 10 excuses on Letterman, though.

I'm back.

After a short break, I'm back with more blog for you. First off, my new plates finally arrived:


At least I think it's funny.

I'd like to think that passersby got a good chuckle out them.

And I got my first UR parking ticket:


Another case of Parking While White.

Being a visitor, I can file that in the rubbish bin, right next to my credit card solicitations.


KPMD enjoys drinking Moet and laying hoes.

This week shamrock and KPMD came down to VA, to celebrate KPMD's...uh...29th birthday (Kandaceapalooza?). Yeah, that's it. Lots of good food - two cakes! - and alcohol. Good times, bitches.


We came. We ate. We ogled co-eds.

Shamrock, KPMD, spydrz, MandaPanda69 and I went back to our old stomping grounds: D-Hall. It's been redone since our tenure at UR; very nicely, I might add. Today's students are spoiled. My enjoyment of having a side of Lucky Charms with my Spider Burger was countered by my dismay at the lack of grilled cheese offerings.

We played a fun game of "Pick Out Your Current Student Counterpart" and I think we all pretty much hit the nail on the head with our selections. I wanted to warn Young Micah about the perils of not studying, not meeting enough chicks, overdoing it on the Chicken Parms and playing too much NHL 95. But, alas, I think that's a lesson he must learn on his own.

It's back.

My Saturdays are booked for the next few months.

HeadOn. Apply directly to the forehead.

HeadOn. Apply directly to the forehead.
HeadOn. Apply directly to the forehead.
HeadOn. Apply directly to the forehead.
HeadOn. Apply directly to the forehead.
HeadOn. Apply directly to the forehead.
HeadOn. Apply directly to the forehead.
HeadOn. Apply directly to the forehead.
HeadOn. Apply directly to the forehead.

I just saw this annoying commercial for the first time this afternoon (actually, I saw a clip of it on "The Colbert Report" a while back, but thought it was fake). This parody cracks me up.

Where can I buy a top hat and monocle?

Tonight I will become a multimillionaire. Yes, I bought a lottery ticket, which is virtually guaranteed to win me the $83 million prize. But I won't forget you - the common people. If, nay when I win the top prize, I will give each of my loyal MW readers $5.

Et tu, Jessica and Samuel?

Because of my freakish first name, I cannot receive a personalized phone call from Samuel L. Jackson, nor can I download a version of Jessica Simpson's "A Public Affair" that gives me a shout out. Yes, this is the hell that I've grown up with all of my life, especially in everyone's heavily-gifted personalized trinketed formative years. Bicycle license plates that say "Mike", key chains that say "Mitch" (my brother and sister's nickname for me), magnets reading "Michael".

While both of my siblings received their Captain Zoom birthday 45s, I got nada.

Maybe the lack of validation for my existence really screwed me up. Who knows?