"Two hours of sparkling entertainment spread over four hours" - Johnny Carson
It's finally here - Oscar Night (or as former Kid in the Hall Scott Thompson refers to it, "The Gay Superbowl"). It's time to find out what politically-charged films shunned by the general moviegoing public will take home the top honors. I predict that this will be the big winner:
Occasional MW commenter Shamrock and "friend"
To help you pass the time while you watch the red carpet arrivals, here are some goodies:
-a streaming video for one of my favorite singer-songwriter's cute lil' song "Gay Cowboy" (there was an mp3 of the song available at his site, but I can't find it now; let me know if you want it.)
-Actor and ghetto pass holder Michael Rapaport's hip-hop song "How To Rob An Actor" he made with the High & Mighty (Rapidshare link).
To answer everyone's question as to who I'm wearing, it's Adidas, Simple, and J.Crew.
Last year's chat was so much fun, it'll be hard to replicate. But we can try. So let the predictions, trash talk, and cattiness begin. We'll all be hetero in the morning.
274 comments:1 – 200 of 274 Newer› Newest»
First post, bi-atch! Let the games begin.
In like an hour. I've gots to go get me some foodstuffs.
Thanks for not using any of the other...um, questionable pics from that weekend. Shamrock's shame is enough to go around. We needn't revisit mine.
Can you disable this GD word verification for the night?
Your gentleman caller wasn't wearing a cowboy hat, so...
Good idea on the word verification.
I'm heading to my aunt and uncle's now and then will be eating, so it'll be a while before I next chime in. But I'll be sure to catch up.
Yay! No comment verification. Good call, CB.
I'll be enjoying the DOG marathon on A&E since we all know what movie will be picked to win everything.
By the way, I'm pretty sure it's spelled "gigolo."
While we're waiting, there are multiple reruns of "24" on. I've developed a new drinking game based on that show. Every time the word "protocol" is used, drink.
Longtime reader, first-time poster (in a while). Shamrock and I are hanging pictures and watching the preshow. He was surprised to know that Sandra Bullock was married to Jesse James. So, perhaps he's not as gay as the above picture suggests.
We will be dining on the finest South Philly Pizza this evening (drinking a fab Barbera d'Asti, of course). I am wearing jeans by Old Navay and a daring red sweater. Phil's wearing a Carolina Blue Tommy number, offset by retro 501s, Levi Strauss.
Let the games begin!
According to my program guide, I have 1280 channels. In spite of that variety, I'm watching the pre-show arrival. And I don't really know why.
But let it be said: celebrities look scary in Hi-Def. Except Jessica Alba. She is perfect in every way.
Holy shit. The return of KPMD. This is cause for celebration.
Say hi to your lesser half for me.
Welcome to the Philthydelphia contingent!
Oh: almost forgot. White Gap long sleeve tee, Addidas shorts, Sox hat. BBQ chicken burrito and a 2000 Saffiro Barolo (later, not with the burrito).
LL Bean, Nordstrom Jeans, socks. Sammy "Black Lager."
Shamrock sends his "Brokeback" tidings to all. Excellent wine choice, CB. Shamrock thinks Felicity Huffman is "rockin' it". (Of course, when I asked him who he thought looked the best, his first answer was, "George Clooney, what I wouldn't do to that man.")
P.S. Anyone have any idea why Sandra Bullock is there with Keanu Reeves?
I have to agree on Felicity. But she's got the Sheryl Crow breastplate thing going on. Girl needs a bit more meat on dem bones. Nevertheless, I'd hit it.
Ryan Seacrest informs me that Sandra and Keanu have a(nother) movie together coming out in late Spring/early Summer. No word if a bus will be involved.
Will the bus jump UP?
Dunno. But maybe CTU can remotely disable the bomb...er, missle...er, cannisters aboard said bus.
As long as Kim Bauer's involved, count me in.
Anyone watching the preshow on ABC? Is Felicity Huffman drunk?
Dude, what is up with this opening sequence. It is uber-brokeback.
All it's doing is reminding me of when I actually wanted to see the movies Hollywood was putting out.
Unlike, say, the past 5 years.
Hey, bitches. I'm in.
KPMD, so nice to see your return. Don't be a stranger around here on March 6.
There's only one word to describe my emotions right now: giddy.
Over/under on anti-Bush jokes: 9.5
Think we'll hit 250 comments tonight?
I'm calling it: Steve Martin and Dave Lettermen will be the highlight.
Okay, this part's pretty funny.
Thank you, good night. End it there, Jon. Ain't gonna get any better.
My prediction: Steve Martin wigs are the Next Big Thing
There's a theme to the Oscars? Is this a prom?
law fairy - great to have you here.
Yeah, the opening was great. Monologue...not so much.
But you have to admit, the thing about them actually voting for a winner -- that was pretty funny
I think George Clooney would be a really cool BFF. Or f**k buddy. Either/or.
law fairy - WHO ARE YOU WEARING?!
CB - Or, as they say in South Park, "butt buddies".
Micah, I'm dazzling the crowd in my Hana Sport yoga pants and a tshirt hell tank top. I even showered!!
I have an idea: give away some goddamn awards. Some of us would like to go to bed soon. It's a school night, for pete's sake!
These clips are getting me hot 'n' bothered.
Best. Cowboy montage. Ever.
They haven't given out any awards yet?
Is the orchestra playing DURING the speeches? That sucks. Me no likey.
No blood for oil!
Shamrock's Decision Matrix: what does the Academy think would embarass/enrage GW...thing is he probably is in bed by now and could care less.
I've got $20 that says the last flick GWB caught was "Animal House". And that was in the theater. During it's original run.
But I do love the McG's and their conspiracy theories! Keep 'em coming.
I want to brace y'all: I've heard that there will be two production numbers tonight. Ugh.
The Da Vinci Code is in the can (I think). Lose the hair, Tom (unless you're doing reshoots). He looked like that at the Grammys, too.
Production numbers? So glad I'm not tuning in.
Will Tanith Belbin be performing in either? 'Cause that will redeem entirely.
Can Ben Stiller present every award? I just like the way he reads off the nominees
I'm 2 for 2
Look's like poor Micah's losing already, way to go with your heart.
1/3. No DVD for me, I fear.
I spoke too soon. I'm now 3 for 3.
I think I'm one for two, but I have to double check
Yeah, I'm 1 for 3. I figured that the Academy may feel sorry for passing over Paul G. for the past few years. Guess not.
There's still a lot of Oscar left, CB.
OK, better late than never (me)... I'm with the Law Fairy... best cowboy montage ever indeed. Hilarious.
I'm 2 for 3...
Just so long as spydrz doesn't wrongly claim the throne.
Uh, Micah? You're 2 for 3 dude.
Oh, Jesus. Dolly? Really? Yech.
OK, could the Wallace and Gromit guys BE ANY NERDIER?????
er, 1 for 3. Not paying attention, but now I have my Oscar omelette ready for eatin'
I know all the words already!
I didn't wrongly claim the throne. You can thank Yahoo! for that.
Okay, I'll be the bitchy one who says it...
I get that (shudder) a country song was nominated for best song, but this is still the Oscars, NOT the CMA. Dolly, wear a freakin' DRESS!
I forgot about my King Kong pick. Woo-hoo!
panthergirl - It's subtle British humour. Be glad they weren't in dresses running around to "Yakety Sax".
I don't care if she's 60, I still think I'd have sexual relations with Dolly.
yeah, 2 for 4 baby!
I think we are all enjoying Jon Stewart than the attendees are.
And I think CB is just sour grapes cuz his boyfriend, Dave Matthews, isn't nominated.
Shamrock has just volunteered to create a website with a weighted pool for next year.
GD!, I'm now 3 for 4. I wish I knew the director were gay, I would have picked that.
I love the Wilson brothers. They are funny and weird-cute.
I think Phil's matrix is working. Gay Again! You can't write this stuff!
Jon Stewart's hosting? Yet another reason I'm glad that there's a DOG marathon on.
Now THERE'S someone I'd have sexual relations with. Repeatedly. (Aniston, that is...)
I believe past years' Yahoo pools were weighted. This stupid EW one doesn't even have tie-breakers. I have a feeling that's going to make things difficult.
I'm tied with Spydrz. Something is wrong in the world when that happens.
Oh, yeah: panthergirl, WHO ARE YOU WEARING?!
I was only halfway paying attention. Was Christ in that montage? 'Cause, you know: Lou Gehrig was...and they're about equally important. Historically, that is...
I heart Will Ferrell and Steve Carell
Yeah, Will and Steve rule.
I'm going to see Oscar winner King Kong on Tuesday ($.50 day at the dollar theater). That's $.166666666666 of entertainment per hour.
I prefer Rachael as a brunette, but I'd still "do" her (as the kids say).
Wow, she looks pretty horrible. I hope that's for a role.
Oooh. Frances McDormand got all dressed up. Classy.
I'd do Rachel Weisz
Micah, I'm wearing VICTORIA'S SECRET, pajama collection.
And right now, along with KPMD, I'm also wearing "first place". ;)
What the hell? Nobody told me there was an awards show on tonight? Does this mean there's no "Desperate Housewives"?
BTW, I'm wearing a wifebeater & boxers ensemble by Hanes.
P.S. Go KPMD!
Looks like someone already did Rachel Weisz. Succesfully, I might add.
Very bold move by McDormand to not look attractive at all.
law fairy - Me too!!!! Wow - former Crush looking all...bountiful (and preggers).
What, men can't enjoy the new Tab? Is it pH balanced or something.
I'd do Lauren Bacall.
THSE - Three words: Skinemax on Demand.
I hope when I'm whatever age Lauren Bacall is I look as good as her. She may be old, but DAMN is she classy. And could also use a teleprompter with bigger print.
Oh boy.... Lauren Bacall is really struggling... shoot me before I get that old, ok?
Wow I really like this gay detective montage...
It's Gay Montage night. Next: the "gay golf movies starring Jackie Mason" montage.
PRIVATE DICK INDEED
Then gay Havery Firestein movies.
They should do all nominee spots like political commercials
Those were great... loved the Reese one.
Is it bad that I don't know the difference between "Crash" and "Hustle and Flow"? Or does that make me just another whitey?
We'd call you "stupid wop dago".
Ah, Kiera. If only one could put her beautiful head on a woman's body...
Seriously: I heart George Clooney.
Dude, get a room.
I can hear Shamrock right now: "Damn Pengoons!"
Um. Isn't this chick also on the West Wing? Or has she a doppleganger?
Man, first penguins, then monkeys. Phil thinks all commercials should feature monkeys misbehavin'
is it sad that Harry Potter is the only movie I've seen on this show tonight?
Gay Social Issue montage?
Micah, you didn't see Brokeback?!
KPMD and Panther -- dammit, stop getting them all right!! I feel like I'm sooo close...
Mindy - WHO ARE YOU WEARING?!
No, I haven't seen Brokeback. I'll catch it on cable...late night.
Hey, it's Samuel Jackson, star of the upcoming Snakes on a Plane (I wish I was kidding).
That MUSIC!!! OMG... could it be an louder???
Micah... seriously, you should see Brokeback in the theater. It is just gorgeous.
What is this guy talking about? Just give out some freakin' awards!!!
State of the heart, KPMD. Not state of the art.
We get it. Watch movies in the theater. Okay, moving on...
I'll probably catch it when it gets to the dollar theater. That's not a slam on the movie (I REALLY want to see Narnia, but am waiting on that one, too).
Mickey Rooney is still alive?!
Micah I am wearing Miami...care of the Dubois bookstore...
And I haven't been watching all night but what the hell is with the music the minute people open their mouths?
Also a thought occurs that this show could be a lot shorter without all the stupid categories and movie montages...
'Nawlins shout-out! 504 represent!
Salma Hayek: master of the English language.
She just said "oscar weiner" hehe
Salma...be...hot. Left boob may pop out, though. Keep an eye out for that, Micah.
Is it just me or did the orchestra just hold out the first note of the Star Wars theme and then let us down?
Mindy - Tonight is the night the stars come out to shine. Deal with it.
Only us nerds, law fairy. Only us nerds...
Dude, whatever. Nerds rule.
Is it over yet?
Why didn't anybody tell me that I left out Scott Thompson's name in the original post?
If you are a dude (or a chick) that herds sheep, Doesn't that make you a shepherd, not a cowboy?
Why wasn't the 40 Year Old Virgin nominated for Best Original Score? Pfffffft
OK, I am happy to have lost this one.... I loved the music for Brokeback.
Dude, John Williams didn't win?? JOHN WILLIAMS DIDN'T WIN???
Micah, I think it's because we were all transfixed by the picture. And by "transfixed" I mean disgusted.
Hey Micah...I finally watched Napolean Dynamite this weekend...laughed my ass off...
Mindy: you're just jealous that Micah's been online chatting with hot babes all day
...and my respect for Mindy is knocked down a peg or five.
Hey, bitches: if you haven't seen Capote, hop to it. Great flick.
John Williams already has 30 (I think) Oscars already. Give one to the auslander.
CB - Don't make me post your pictures. You know the ones I'm talking about.
Oh CB, is the pot calling the kettle gay?
I think Williams' two nominations caused him to split his own vote. Which I why I only score one film per year...
Napoleon was funny...some might say it was Dy-no-mite!
good point, CB -- I didn't even realize he composed for Geisha when I voted for Munich. Dammit!
In all seriousness, 40 Year Old Virgin really should have been nominated for at least screenplay. The Academy's disrespect for comedies is terrible.
Oh God another movie montage...
Gay Widescreen montage? On TV sets!?!?!? Do they not see the inherent irony in that!?!?!?!?!
Did I just see a gladiator movie in that montage?
GO SEE MOVIES IN THEATERS
(Jedi Mind Trick: patrons aren't rude, tickets and food aren't overpriced, floors aren't sticky, pre-movie advertisements don't last for 45 minutes, the general quality of movies hasn't been declining for years now...)
Dude, I hear she's in the new Playboy.
Micah, SERIOUSLY -- 40YOV was AWESOME. Where's the love for comedies? I've heard it's much harder to do comedy than drama, and I believe it.
Kudos to Stewart for making fun of the mantage obsession
I know I speak for us all when I say DROOL.............................
She's suing them about that Playboy thing -- fyi, she's not naked in the mag, lest you guys buy it to great disappointment
I have a subscription. I know. :(
If Stewart had some balls, he would've made a joke about that. Chris Rock would have.
Doesn't matter how many times you get nominated just how many times you win!
Why am I enjoying this? I know I shouldn't be, but I am!
You're right. You shouldn't be.
I think the only Altman movie I've seen is The Player. And I don't even remember it.
Dude, you haven't seen Short Cuts? Bottomless Julianne Moore? Rent it forthwith.
edit: and it's a good movie, too.
What exactly is an honorary oscar? You weren't good enough to get one earlier and you're about to die so here's an oscar?
I guess now is a good time for a quick catnap. Or a snack break.
YES! I picked Altman for the Honorary Oscar in the pool!
I own a copy of the book M*A*S*H*, if that counts.
You're at the Oscars, hippy. Wear a tie.
At least Altman has the balls to say, I know you're giving this to me 'cuz you think I'm gonna die soon.
Oh, God. Isn't M. Night Shamalamadingdong done making movies yet? 'Cause Signs sucked ass.
Ah. He's just making commercials now. Good.
Signs wasn't bad. Now, The Village - that sucked.
I guess if you're gonna show this much boob in one show, you should at least advertise how to keep 'em healthy. Kudos, Oscar!
The Oscars are crunk!
My grandma loves this song.
They slipped in a "shit" and a half-F-bomb.
I bet my mom would like this song
Finally: a song that sheds some light on the struggles of the pimp. An issue that merits discussion!
There was a story the other day on how what critics and the public agree on are completely different...
They said if you added up the money made by all the movies nominated for best picture this year it was only something like 200 million...contrasted with the fact that Dukes of hazard made 80 million...
It just proves how white the Oscars are when they pick the world's worst hip hop song, ever, to nominate.
Awwwwww yeah, tied for first baby!!!
Once again, the Shamrock Decision Matrix proves true.
And with that Oscar, I pull into the second place tie.
Can Steven Colbert present next year? Seriously. He's cracking me up and I can't even see him.
OH Jennifer come back to Alias...
Jennifer Garner's love child is going to be one fine looking bastard.
Giving birth was the best thing to ever happen to Jennifer Garner...s breasts.
Law Fairy - get out of my head! I was thinking the exact same thing. I love Steve Colbert and all that he stands for...which I don't think is much.
Seriously her boobs are huge!
Mindy - Fun Fact: Spielberg's Munich grossed more than the other four Best Picture nominees combined.
Oh this is my favorite part! the dead people
The gay "I see dead people" montage!
I must say that Colbert's show has gotten tons better since it first aired. Classic stuff.
Now go out and buy the "Strangers With Candy" DVDs and see his true genius.
By round of applause, who is the most popular dead person?
Abe Vigod...oh, wait.
I actually think Pat Morita won this year. Go figure.
I think it was "Buzz" Knudson.
Okay, people, fess up: who consulted EW when making their picks? (obviously not CB)
Helloooo, Don Knotts?
I thought Richard Pryor won
Next year they can add Lenny Briscoe and Barney fiffe to that list...
TAB Energy? Why didn't they just call it "Pink Bull"?
I will admit to consulting EW and other online sources this year as I have seen none of the nominated films, unless you count Harry Potter and Chronicles of Narnia. Thanks to spydrz, I haven't even seen King Kong.
KPMD - they go by calendar year...barney will be on next years montage
Not me. I relied on my knowledge of the "buzz," plucked up from sources all over. I don't think I even read EW. Ha!
Um. If I had time I would've seen all the movies... ?
If they don't add the Dunkin' Donuts guy to next year's montage, the Academy's lost all of its credibility.
OK, I thought they were handing the recently dead a hard dis.
law fairy - You live in freakin' LA. You take all of this shit in by osmosis.
Will Smith, Jessica Alba, Keanu Reeves, and Will Ferrell all presenting Oscars. And 3-6 Mafia wins one? Yup...it's the end of the world as we know it.
I do not feel fine.
Ah shit.... I hate sharing first place.
Um...he's an angry African. And his peeps weren't even enslaved!
I've always dreamed of being in a 4-way with a bunch of hot chicks. Right now I am.
Let me savor this.
So I feel so cheap doing this. Since it's my first time, please be gentle. Just turning into the dorkfest, so don't have much to comment on. And wouldn't y'all love to know who I'm wearing.
Yikes. Neck and neck and neck and neck
So what's with the props this year...penguins, bow ties what's next?
CD - All are welcome. Do I know you?
I meant tuning in, not turning in...I will NEVER turn into such a dorkfest, even after 3 years of law school. the c.d. name is for another blog, for those of you wondering who the heck this is.
Damn, is that LexVegas representing on the blog? 'Bout time.
know me? and how ;)
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