Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Hump Day News Round-up

  • Authorities suspect that dogs mauled a newborn infant in Portsmouth, OH. I'd make a "maybe a dingo ate your baby" quip, but that'd be in bad taste.
  • WNBA player Sheryl Swoopes comes out of the closet. Lesbians in the WNBA?! Now I've heard everything.
  • More than $1 billion worth of marijuana was confiscated in Kentucky this year. No word on if the grass was blue.
  • Beth Holloway-Twitty (mother of the missing Aruba chick) spoke in Ohio today, saying that the "best case scenario" is that her daughter was kidnapped and gang raped. You know, I've never heard the terms "best case scenario" and "gang raped" used in the same sentence (no link; I heard it on the radio).

12 comments:

Mindy said...

Oh my God Micah that's right next to my home town...

Micah said...

[insert joke about Minford, Ohio here]

So where was your dog yesterday?

The Law Fairy said...

The dingo joke was totally off-color, Micah.

I mean, seriously. I'm so sick of everyone making fun of Aussies!

Micah said...

I'm sick of our country's PC mindset. Australians are fair game. Fosters-drinkin', shrimp-barbying, walkabout-havin' bastards!

Captain Backfire said...

http://washingtontimes.com/upi/20051026-071834-5487r.htm

For a second--upon seeing this headline--I thought it might be a while until we got our next update. Glad it wasn't you, dude.

Micah said...

They just haven't caught me yet.

The Dubin said...

Micah--It's just too soon to be picking on the Aussies. Rosa Parks, who just passed away, courageously refused to give up her seat so that Aussies might ride on the bus, rather than strapped to the front. Where they belong. Dirty, dirty Aussies.

Note: This was a joke. It does not express the true views of the author, NBC, or Fox Communications....which is owned by an Aussie.

Micah said...

That was classic, Dubin. And wrong.

Kate The Great said...

Ahh, yes. Kentucky Bluegrass. Most folks don't realize that Kentucky Bluegrass is really green (sometimes with little pink hairs in it).

Don't knock the Pikeville Pot. That's our state's (do I consider myself a Kentuckian? Gasp!) number one cash crop. That and moonshine...

Micah said...

Let me guess: KY is also the largest consumer of Cheetos and "Cheech & Chong" movies.

panthergirl said...

I loved Bill Maher's comment that the Sheryl Swoops news was reported in the most recent issue of "No Shit" Magazine.

Micah said...

I watch Maher's show each week, mainly because he infuriates me. I'm sure you don't feel the same way. :)