Saturday, October 01, 2005

If it's about laying off the insanity peppers, I'm way ahead of you.

My name is Micah, I'm 30 years old, and I've never cooked chili. I'll be rectifying that oversight today. Bought all of the ingredients last night. I'm anxious to find out what buffalo tastes like. The bitch was finding the merciless peppers of Quetzlzacatenango*. Does it get any better than chili and college football? Well, I suppose there could be a nekkid woman thrown in for good measure, but let's be realistic here.

Good luck to the Hokies and Spartans today (the Buckeyes and Spiders each have a bye week).

*Grown deep in the jungle primeval by the inmates of a Guatemalan insane asylum.

EDIT to add a pic:



Buffalo chili is on the left, beef on the right. Even with the fam coming over for dinner, guess what I'll be eating for the next few weeks.

26 comments:

Captain Backfire said...

As a matter of fact, it does get better than that. It's called "tomorrow" when you eat the leftover chili, which been made even more deliciouser by the phenomenon known as "overnighting"--whereby food tastes better the second day you eat it*

Best of luck. Let us know how it turns out.


*see also: Chinese food.

Captain Backfire said...

Goddamnit, you need an edit function. Second sentence should read "has been made".

"Deliciouser" remains an intentional linguistic f-up.

Micah said...

C'mon. "Deliciouser" is a perfectly cromulent word. Okay, I guess I should put a stop to the Simpsons references.

As for your theory, I think it's a wash. Sure, much like pasta and Chinese food, chili gets better with (short) age. But then you have to swap college ball for the NFL.

Shae said...

Hrm. I like-a your blog. I'll email the url to myself and check it when I don't have to write a term paper in oh, about... 4 hours.

Captain Backfire said...

If you lived back Eastward (hint, hint) you could catch game 3 of the Yankees-Red Sox instead of the NFL. Be advised I would not join you, as I tend to get violent during these contests...

The Dubin said...

Mmmm...gassy.

Game update: 320-pound defensive linemen (MSU) picks up Michigan fumble and runs it 74 yards for a touchdown. Tied 31-31 with less than 7:00 to go. Meanwhile, Peko is being defibrillated on the sideline.

Chili update: "Deliciouser" is indeed a cromulent word. Your chili will be like a "qigibo" in your mouth the second day, and I "quone" any of you to refute that argument.

Micah said...

I'd settle for some kick-ass pizza and a "Sopranos" rerun.

Shae - Thanks for stopping by! What's your paper on? My readers and I are quite the brain trust - we could help. :)

Micah said...

MSU ranked, Michigan not. Up is down. Black is white. Dogs and cats living together. These are the end times, my friend. Do you believe in my Savior now?

Captain Backfire said...

Seriously, if that paper is on any of the following topics, this blog has you covered:

-Water
-Terminator 2
-Christian Mysticism in the 19th Century Peru (I bought that one online just in case)

Micah: can this Savior of yours infect the Yankees with food poisoning tonight? Por favor?

Micah said...

I'll do my best. Just make sure the team goes to Denny's tonight.

The Dubin said...

I now formally adopt the teachings of your Lord and Savior...Frank Stallone.

Actually, this one doesn't count, not when the game is won in overtime (f***ed up rules) by a kicker who couldn't bother to conceal the jiggling fat around his midsection (hello, Sebastian Janikowski, Jr.)...

...Then again, at least he made his kick.

Micah said...

My boss is a washed-up action star's brother.

Did MSU call a do-over?

Why can't USC just freakin' lose?

Oh, and CB, I know you're not knocking my T2 paper. It was full of sociological insight. And nary a grammar mistake or incorrect spelling.

spydrz said...

USC can't lose because the PAC10 is a joke.

jasdye said...

for Literary Theory, i did a paper on dylan's "Highway 61 Revisited." i got an A. no joke.

for Rhetoric, i did a paper on Marvin Gaye's "What's Going On?" (no, not "Let's Get It On"). I didn't understand Rhetoric. I got a C because the prof loves that album.

for my presentation on post-War japanese films, i could have chosen for the artsy audience that made up my History of Film II class the prestigious Ozu or the highly regarded Kurosawa (unfortunately, once again i misspelled both their names). of course, not realizing til the day before, i pick out a random "Godzilla" and write some meaningful bull about that and get my A.

why am i saying all this?

i wish i was back in easy college land.

The Dubin said...

As long as USC stays ahead of Texas, I'm cool with them.

tweedledeetweedledum said...

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The Dubin said...

Micah, now that it's Day 2, can you mail me some chili? (Then mail some to the Yankees).

The Dubin said...

Micah, now that it's Day 2, can you mail me some chili? (Then mail some to the Yankees).

Micah said...

spyderz - I just want USC to lose so OSU's one loss doesn't look so bad (and to keep their national championship hopes alive).

jasdye - No joke. College was soooo easy (relatively). I read more in my first semester of law school than I did in all of undergrad. Although, in full disclosure, I should admit that I got an F on my T2 paper. Even after the rewrite. Ah, youth.

tweedledeetweedledum - Thanks for stopping by! I'll check that site out (yours?).

dubin - I can do that. I can do that. Chili's on the menu for lunch and dinner today.

Speaking of which, it turned out pretty well. Turns out buffalo tastes a lot like bison. I didn't write down proportions and measurements, but each pot contained the meat, chili powder, cumin, salt, pepper, cayenne pepper, a can of beer, beef broth, tomato paste, tomato sauce, diced tomatoes, stewed tomatoes, onions, jalapenos (green and red), onion powder, garlic powder, olive oil, and garlic.

I love making food in mass quantities.

Micah said...

Oh, yeah - kidney beans were in it, too.

KPMD said...

Oh dude, send me some too. I am still nursing a monster hangover from friday night and chili would do me a whole lot of good. You got me so inspired, I've been searching online for a new chili recipe to try out. The new one's got sirloin, ground beef, kidney beans, jalapeno peppers, beer, coffee and cocoa. Should be interesting...

I would like to offer up my groundbreaking essay on "Tailgate" for sociology which also earned me an "A". It will be featured in my new anthology called, "You Can't Shit a Shitter: How to Pretend you know Something about Anything". It will be followed up with "Shamrock's Lessons on Grammar and Syntax".

Micah said...

Sounds good. Let me know how your chili turns out. My new rule: a hint of buffalo will bring out the flavors in any dish.

I'd never heard of your "Tailgate" paper. You know, someone really should make a book that compiles stupid term papers.

Captain Backfire said...

I caught an episode of Anthony Bourdain's "No Reservations" yesterday, and have found the next secret ingredient for your chili: bull penis.

I'd much rather read KPMD's dissertation on "Tailhook. Preferably the illustrated version, thank you very much.

Micah said...

Bull penis is sooooo 5 minutes ago. Now it's all about baboon rectums.

jasdye said...

rectum? darn near killedum!

The Dubin said...

I've often noticed that buffalo tastes a great deal like bison. I wonder why that is